open ||

[degenere]

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: Val de Foncé (and with him, as always, is Jehan Mercier)
RECIPIENT: e v e r y o n e
WHAT: the scholars of Orlais have something to say.
WHEN: now, right now
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: aren't they charming.


Inquisition, we are confused.

[Melodious, Orlesian, flirtatious (somehow even in this most simple of sentences): these are three words one might use to describe the sound of Val's voice. It makes confused sound kind of fun, if a bit puzzling.]

My friend and I have come all this way to be an asset to you. And now we have arrived here, to your Skyhold, and we find so much to be in want. How have you all managed so far, with these conditions? I am a man used to the roughness of a camp, a life of travel. I love this life. You'll find no one loves it more than me. But a camp, that is one thing, and this? It is meant to be a city, of a sort. Yet there is no apartment for us. There is barely a work space, in your library--we have been, my friend and I. We have seen the conditions. There is barely a book there.

I am sorry for you, Inquisition.

[So sincere. A pause, in which he has pressed a hand to his chest, in a deep show of pity. And then, briskly, cheerfully:]

But we will not leave you there, in sorrow. The good news. You now have, among your numbers, me. An introduction: Valentine de Foncé, a master architect, among many other masteries, too numerous to name. If you ask sweetly, I'll tell you them all. If you ask very sweetly, I'll give demonstration. And for the Inquisition, I will offer my services, and my knowledge--and so, too, does my friend. If only so we can get a decent space in which we can do our work. And believe me: you want this. We have arrived to be your greatest blessing.

Now, tell me. With business sorted: what does anyone do for fun around here?

Comments

[dreadinquisitor]

[A laugh then, a low rumble of a sound. Equal parts amused as tired.]

I hate to the be barer of bad news, but if you're here, and intend to remain as a member of the Inquisition - orders, and following them, are all part of the kit.

But don't worry, it's not all that painful.

[degenere]

To become a member of the Inquisition--perhaps. But to be called a servant? Never. I do not serve. I assist. I do great deeds. This is what I will do for the Inquisition.

Perhaps I will even learn how to take orders. I have never quite gotten the hang of it. It does seem painful, no matter what you say.

[dreadinquisitor]

[Semantics, Maxwell thought. But it was a step in the right direction, and rather more than he might have expected, so he didn't argue.

If he honestly meant to help - and did so - that was all that mattered.]

It's easier when you know they're good ones. And they don't get much better than 'Stopping the Evil Darkspawn Magister Bent on Ending the World.'

[degenere]

I hope that was not truly an order that was given to you? It seems very broad. Important, yes, but ill-defined.

I like my assignments more along the lines of, 'fill an evil darkspawn magister's pockets with something deeply explosive, take cover, wait thirty seconds with your ears covered'.

[dreadinquisitor]

Well it's always good to leave room for some creativity.

Myself, I'm currently working on a way to turn bee grenades into a mine.

[It wouldn't be as spectacular a light show as his elemental mines, surely, but certainly as much fun - if he could ever get the recipe right.]

[degenere]

[ok wait--]

Bee grenades? But you cannot leave that there. You must explain.

[dreadinquisitor]

[It had been a while since he'd first seen one popped in person, lobbed at a snarling Red Templar out in the frigid hills of the Emprise-- he'd all but forgotten what life had been like before.

The knowledge of the existence of such a device - and the immediate aftermath of its use - was just one of those kinds of moments.]

They're exactly what you're thinking, except even better in use.

Where they came from, who first designed them, I can't tell you. It's legend at this point. But they're a particular favorite within certain circles of the Inquisition.

[degenere]

[Cul sacré. This is the greatest thing that Val has heard since... Since. Even mentally, he does not try to qualify it, not when there are more important things.]

You can't tell me because you do not know, because no one knows--or because it is a secret? But that would imply that I care. I do not. Which circles are they popular in, these delightful little delights of ours?

[dreadinquisitor]

A bit of both?

But if you're interested in learning more, I suggest visiting the Undercroft. Or the Tavern. Or both. And taking some coin to the latter never hurts.

[degenere]

And do I ask for a man by name, once I am there with my coin? Or do I just say, that I am interested to learn how it is that bees might come to explode in the faces of my enemies.

Beyond the broad and usual ways, I mean. We are men of the Inquisition.

[Like, refined men.]

[dreadinquisitor]

Finding them won't be hard, but whether or not they'll tell you...

[A pause as he considered the wild elf and the prickly man in turn. Neither of which seemed to be the type, from what he knew of them, to immediately take to a man such as this.]

They're particular. But a round of drinks might help.

...If not, I do have a couple left, if you at least want to see one in person.

[degenere]

Then why not both? If you have one, I would very much like to see it. In action, if possible, so that I can understand the use of it.

[And maybe get an idea of its construction. Just out of curiosity.]

And then I will track down these particulars, and ply them with drinks until we are friends. Or at least until we are at an understanding. I am good at drinking.

[dreadinquisitor]

...I think that could be arranged, but it will have to be outside of Skyhold. They're not really an explosive, but they are far angrier and have a tendency to - chase.

[As he'd learned the hard way.]

[degenere]

Not to worry. I am a faster runner. And I have been stung by bees before, and have not died.

[Which basically equates to immunity, in Val's world.]

Name the time and the place and I will make arrangements to attend.

[dreadinquisitor]

[He made a mental note to bring some extra salve, despite the assurances.]

I'll be sure and send word.

And good luck to you, and welcome to the Inquisition.