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[degenere]

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: Val de Foncé (and with him, as always, is Jehan Mercier)
RECIPIENT: e v e r y o n e
WHAT: the scholars of Orlais have something to say.
WHEN: now, right now
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: aren't they charming.


Inquisition, we are confused.

[Melodious, Orlesian, flirtatious (somehow even in this most simple of sentences): these are three words one might use to describe the sound of Val's voice. It makes confused sound kind of fun, if a bit puzzling.]

My friend and I have come all this way to be an asset to you. And now we have arrived here, to your Skyhold, and we find so much to be in want. How have you all managed so far, with these conditions? I am a man used to the roughness of a camp, a life of travel. I love this life. You'll find no one loves it more than me. But a camp, that is one thing, and this? It is meant to be a city, of a sort. Yet there is no apartment for us. There is barely a work space, in your library--we have been, my friend and I. We have seen the conditions. There is barely a book there.

I am sorry for you, Inquisition.

[So sincere. A pause, in which he has pressed a hand to his chest, in a deep show of pity. And then, briskly, cheerfully:]

But we will not leave you there, in sorrow. The good news. You now have, among your numbers, me. An introduction: Valentine de Foncé, a master architect, among many other masteries, too numerous to name. If you ask sweetly, I'll tell you them all. If you ask very sweetly, I'll give demonstration. And for the Inquisition, I will offer my services, and my knowledge--and so, too, does my friend. If only so we can get a decent space in which we can do our work. And believe me: you want this. We have arrived to be your greatest blessing.

Now, tell me. With business sorted: what does anyone do for fun around here?

Comments

omg same starts a player plot to get us crystals with text capabilities solely for the smilies

[degenere]

You haven't even heard my definition of 'interesting'. Or my definition of 'important'.

One of the many flaws of these crystals is that you can only hear my voice. Diminished endearment. I assure you, if we were speaking in person, you could not help to be endeared. If you don't believe me, you can ask Jehan.

OMG, yes, do it. No one in Thedas will be safe

[universal_charm]

I think I have a pretty good idea.

Why do I get the feeling Jehan is biased - distinctly in your favor?

adding it to the list 8]

[degenere]

On the contrary. Telling lies is a sin. Jehan is quite opposed to sin.

[apologist]

The Maker is opposed to sin, and I am opposed to causing Him unnecessary anguish when you already provide so much.

But endearingly. Of course.

[ Loyalty. ]

[degenere]

I've always said, you are the very spirit of piety and devotion. I'll say it again in my prayers tonight.

Endearingly, of course.

Re: adding it to the list 8]

[universal_charm]

It's not so much lying as just being wrong.

[degenere]

Then he'd be wrong, to say that I'm endearing?

[universal_charm]

Or suffering from a severe case of some sort of Stockholm Syndrome.

[degenere]

Monsieur. What implications. Jehan is a clean and holy man.

[universal_charm]

.... Stockholm Syndrome doesn't mean what I think you think it means.

_{[ His face right now, Valentine. ]}

[degenere]

A likely story. But I've heard it before.

[universal_charm]

Then by all means please tell me what Stockholm Syndrome is.

_{[ He's waiting, because this should be good. ]}

[degenere]

I did mean more in the general. Andraste's holy tit, you are a literal lot around here.

But I shall play along. We start with Stockholm who is, I think, a man. Yes or no.

[universal_charm]

Considering he's following you around I have many arguments about that too.

Yes, Stockholm is a man.

_{[ Can you hear the laughter in that sentence Valentine? ]}

[degenere]

Very good.

[Very Seriously, too.]

Now, to 'syndrome'. Easy. 'A set of symptoms, or a set of symptoms which characterize a condition'. Without knowing of Stockholm, it is difficult to decide if the name has bearing on the condition. We'll assume, for now, no.

Unless-- are you Stockholm?

[universal_charm]

_{[ He doesn't like you, but he really wishes he had popcorn right now. ]}

No, no I'm not. I'm James Tiberius Kirk.

[degenere]

I'm sorry.

[Sorry for the mistake is one way to interpret that response; sorry for the name is another. But Val does not linger to leave the window of thought open for very long.]

But, very well, then. I am further incapacitated by my lack of knowledge in this field. My experience with disease and healing has been of the emergency sort. I'll assume, though, that the syndrome causes addled wits. Your implication toward Jehan would otherwise not make sense. I don't think I will ask for a yes or no on that one, I am too certain that it is loosely correct.

Transmission of the syndrome. It's something to be caught--yes or no?

[universal_charm]

_{[ It's better than yours, Valentine. ]}

No, it's not caught.

_{[ Valentine was partially correct on the first half, but as Valentine had not asked for clarification, he was not going to give it. That did, after all, seem to be a sort of rule of this game they were now playing. Not his fault if Valentine decided to assume rather than double-check. ]}

[degenere]

[wouldn't argue with that one tbh]

Then it develops, unseen. Now, to specific symptoms. Does it cause someone to love too much, or too little? Perhaps it reverses the extremes of it. What you once loved you now hate; what you once hated, you now love, to the extreme.

Ah, but no. Because Jeannot has always loved me--so that can't possibly be it.

[universal_charm]

<sub>[ Here is where Kirk shall insert the sound of him drinking something, simply waiting for Valentine to go on, as he had asked no direct questions, so Kirk felt no need to elaborate or clarify anything.

Continue. ]</sub>

[degenere]

No-- [Continuing--] No, I understand now. When you suffer from Stockholm, your love is seen as strange. The syndrome does not cause you to be ill. It introduces the illness in others.

You are the one who is diseased.

[universal_charm]

Is that your final answer?

_{[ Snark snark. ]}

[degenere]

I'm sorry, monsieur--but I will not be answering that, or anything else. In fact, I must end this conversation and cease all communications with you, for I do not speak with the ill and diseased.

You understand, of course. Or perhaps not. I do not care either way.

[universal_charm]

_{[ He's rolling his eyes so hard. ]}

Stockholm Syndrome - when a kidnapping or hostage victim begins to feel trust or affection for the kidnapper/hostage taker.

[degenere]

Stop trying to infect me, monsieur! I have said: we must not speak any longer! Persist, and you will be dealt with accordingly!