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[degenere]

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: Val de Foncé (and with him, as always, is Jehan Mercier)
RECIPIENT: e v e r y o n e
WHAT: the scholars of Orlais have something to say.
WHEN: now, right now
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: aren't they charming.


Inquisition, we are confused.

[Melodious, Orlesian, flirtatious (somehow even in this most simple of sentences): these are three words one might use to describe the sound of Val's voice. It makes confused sound kind of fun, if a bit puzzling.]

My friend and I have come all this way to be an asset to you. And now we have arrived here, to your Skyhold, and we find so much to be in want. How have you all managed so far, with these conditions? I am a man used to the roughness of a camp, a life of travel. I love this life. You'll find no one loves it more than me. But a camp, that is one thing, and this? It is meant to be a city, of a sort. Yet there is no apartment for us. There is barely a work space, in your library--we have been, my friend and I. We have seen the conditions. There is barely a book there.

I am sorry for you, Inquisition.

[So sincere. A pause, in which he has pressed a hand to his chest, in a deep show of pity. And then, briskly, cheerfully:]

But we will not leave you there, in sorrow. The good news. You now have, among your numbers, me. An introduction: Valentine de Foncé, a master architect, among many other masteries, too numerous to name. If you ask sweetly, I'll tell you them all. If you ask very sweetly, I'll give demonstration. And for the Inquisition, I will offer my services, and my knowledge--and so, too, does my friend. If only so we can get a decent space in which we can do our work. And believe me: you want this. We have arrived to be your greatest blessing.

Now, tell me. With business sorted: what does anyone do for fun around here?

Comments

[apologist]

[ In the background of Val's crystally transmission, rather than his own, a stage whisper: ] Is he being sarcastic?

[degenere]

[Whispered back:] Jeannot. Please. Even in the wilds and the barrens, people have manners. Perhaps not the studied manners you were taught, out of books. Sarcasm? Toward guests?

[apologist]

[ whisper whisper ] Of course. You are right. It is insulting of me to even think it of him. Please convey my apologies.

[fourscores]

Now, I was taught better than that.

[He grew up in an assassin's guild. No he wasn't.]

Why would I be anything but honest and polite.

[He's lying through his teeth, but hey at least he sounds completely genuine.]

[apologist]

Indeed, Monsiuer. I should not have doubted your manners. [ If Thedas had texting there would be a PA :) riiiiight here. ] We have been away from home for so long, I must have forgotten my own.

[fourscores]

It is quite all right. Certainly no harm done.

[degenere]

A question, Jhin. Will Jehan also be allowed to call you Jhin?

[fourscores]

It is my name, so I'd like to know what else he would call me if not that.

[degenere]

You don't want to know.

[fourscores]

Oh but now you've gotten me all curious.

[degenere]

You don't happen to speak Orlesian, do you?

[fourscores]

What kind of Orlesian would I be if I didn't.

[degenere]

A mute Orlesian.

But! The last name that I heard Jehan call a man who left him the opportunity was dust buggering whoreson with an icicle in the place of his prick. I say it plainly so that everyone can heed my warning, but as a countryman, you can imagine just how poetic it sounded.

[apologist]

You must explain that it was deserved, when you tell this story. Or that I had had too much to drink. Which was it?

[degenere]

Let's say it was deserved, this time. I think we have played the drunk story out.

[fourscores]

[He chuckles.]

Sounds like quite the experience, but I trust he's smart enough to avoid such a name with me.

[degenere]

He is the second smartest man that I know, it's true. But let us pray that you do not come to deserve to be called such a name. Last time, the man quite deserved it.

[fourscores]

The only names I've ever earned have been due to killing, so I think I can manage that.

[degenere]

Fascinating. And tell me, what names are those?

[fourscores]

The Golden Demon would be the most popular one.

[It is how most of Orlais knows him, how those that play the Game know him. Does wonders for business.]

[degenere]

Ah.

That Jhin.

[fourscores]

[He chuckles.]

Yes, that one. The House of Repose's best.

[There's his ego.]

[degenere]

You know, that name has always been curious to me.

[fourscores]

Has it?

[degenere]

Not yours. I mean Repose.