open;

[hlif]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Asher Hardie
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: How not to freeze to death: slankets
WHEN: Late Guardian
WHERE: Emprise du Lion
NOTES: Feel free to just come find him at any point, or back at Skyhold because he took a trip back to pick up letters ssh timelines shh

Right I'll get straight to the point: there's a lot of really mad wildlife in Emprise du Lion, and I do just mean the wildlife right now though why you'd want to live in a frozen shithole is beyond me, and it's cold, and I'm willing to bet not all of you are exactly used to this sort of thing.  So, for a reasonable price or deal unless we already worked something out, I've got bear and wolf pelt blankets.  Now Asher, I hear you ask, what's so special about these blankets, well the thing is, most people get rid of the head and have something that'd look nice spread on the floor but my blankets?  They have sleeves.  And hoods.  Bear and wolf hoods.  I think you see where I'm going with this, right?  I've got plenty of pelts and I expect I'll find more so if you want a blanket, let me know and I'll get it sorted.  Want a regular blanket?  Boring but you can get that too, or mittens for those long boring nights freezing your arse off on watch duty.  If you just want the pelt?  We can arrange that too and other giblets and what have you, say for instance you need bear balls for some potion or tonic, I won't judge.  

[Everyone has to have a hobby and he was raised not to be wasteful.]

Of course if you keep an eye out for the one and only Christine Delacroix, you won't have to take my word for it and she does a damn fine job modelling what's sure to be the latest in Orlesian winterwear. Unless you want to freeze and lose your bits and pieces to frostbite.

Comments

[el_tybs]

Did you say Christine?

[There's more than a bit of amusement in his voice when he asks. Wasn't fur a very Ferelden things?]

So this was why we needed all those bear and wolf pelts?

[aceso]

I only wear it because it is freezing here!

[ She's a little annoyed that she's been name dropped as a satisfied customer. She has an aloof reputation she's trying to maintain here. ]

[el_tybs]

A bear head hooded blanket. You must look so dashing Ferelden in that.

[He's teasing, but that's only because she sounds so put off that she likes it.]

[arachnophobe]

So what you're telling me is that I can have a bear coat.

Hell yeah, I want a bear coat.

[hlif]

Well someone could make it into a coat but it’s a blanket. With sleeves.

[Don’t people know the pain of wanting to sleep with an arm over the blankets but also want to stay toasty and warm? This is the perfect solution.]

You in the Emprise or are you in Skyhold?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Oh my god someone get me a coin to flip so I can decide if bear or wolf is cooler. I mean like, bear's bigger, got more pelt, but a wolf's just cool. But is it douchebag cool?

[There are rummaging sounds. Other vague sounds. He's away for a little bit, enough to make one concerned he just...left the crystal.]

Tails means wolf so gimmie a wolf.

Though I can't see Christine wearing, like, a whole bear. She'd drown in it.

[hlif]

Wait, what’s a douchebag?

[After being to most of Thedas, hearing a word that’s definitely unfamiliar is pretty rare and strange to Asher.]

One formerly insane demon wolf [seriously what is wrong with the wolves in Thedas these days] coming up. And she looks very fetching, I have to say, she carries it with style and grace.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Uhhhh basically an elaborate term for an asshole. Like the kinda guy who thinks he's super cool, but he's definitely not. Like guys with soul patches under their lips. [Right, Nathaniel?]

Dude, awesome, I look forward to it. And, yeah, she kind of is all about style and grace. I think it's that...Orlesian. thing. going on there. [He wants to say French right now.] All fancy and stuff.

[dreadinquisitor]

How reasonable is reasonable?

[A bear pelt. It would be ridiculous. And perfect. He had to ask.]

[hlif]

We’re talking silver rather than gold, I can work out deals if someone wants more than one or trades and delayed payments, I’m easy.

[What a shame none of his friends are around to groan and punch him for that one.]

[twelvelabours]

( a huff of quiet laughter. )

I'll trade you some Orlesian pastries for some of that Orlesian winterwear.

[hlif]

Herc. Herc you are breaking me with this, is there some eclair currency running out of patisseries?

[Even Asher’s dog just sighed Herc. Even his dog.]

[ungovernable]

What are we considering a reasonable price or arrangement?

( benevenuta greatly approves. give her a bear!!!! )

[hlif]

Price is silver, never gold, not unless you’re buying all that I’ve got now and well, already got takers to come pick some up. Arrangements can be deferred payments because I’m not a complete arse and I’ll give folk the benefit of the doubt or trades for other goods say, half-decent bottle of something for a blanket.

[glandival]

If you can part with teeth and claws, I would use them in my crafting.

[ To the point, then, Sabine follows with; ]

I could gift you in return, with such things, or with fresh arrows.

[hlif]

You can have whole skulls if you like, I don’t have any need of them.

[If the crew were around, he’d take the offer of arrows because people fletching just look weird when they zone out but it’s just him.]

Not much of an archer I’m afraid.

[chainlightning]

Oh! I'd very much like one- um, what would you like for it?

[hlif]

For a blanket with sleeves and the hood it’s ten silver for the wolf, fifteen for the bear but we can work around it or pay it in bits and pieces, I’m not going anywhere in a hurry and I don’t want folk freezing to death.

[mythalenaste]

So it's a coat.

[hlif]

[There’s a pained sigh from Asher’s end.]

No. A coat is a very different affair. This is a blanket, with sleeves and a hood, like I just explained.

[unbrokenoath]

My own da is a merchant and I don't think I've ever heard a finer sales pitch, Asher.

[ She's smirking. Asher, you are an uncouth weirdo. Good thing you're cute. ]

What would you consider a reasonable price for such a fine blanket? Are you trading strictly in money, or can we work out a bartering system, here? I've probably got some odds and ends for you.

[ She snickers when she mentions odds and ends. Because. Subtle. ]

--Seriously, though, that sounds really neat. And warm.

[hlif]

That's because I'm a professional, Kaisa.

[There's a moment where he almost cracks up, the long pause before professional when the long-suffering voice of a dignified gent that he puts on nearly fails him.]

I'm easy. [You already knew that.] Money, bartering, any sort of deal like installments or deferred payment; so long as my time and services are rewarded and appreciated then I'm a happy man.

[Did he mention he's easy?]

I can't actually imagine how cold it must be for some of you? I find it cold and I run hot as is, plus I go up to holds in the mountains that still managed to be warmer than here. There's nothing cosier than rolling up inside a bear.

[And that sounded really bad but at least he didn't add on 'that you killed' because that would sound even worse.]

[aintwejust]

What's the price for an old friend?

1/2

[hlif]

A kiss.

[He’ll just let that one sit there for a while. Mal knows the kind of grin Asher’ll have on his face anyway.]

2/2

[hlif]

[And a little later:]

You know mates rates are always just having a proper drink with me, respectability gone and made you daft already?