open;

[hlif]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Asher Hardie
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: How not to freeze to death: slankets
WHEN: Late Guardian
WHERE: Emprise du Lion
NOTES: Feel free to just come find him at any point, or back at Skyhold because he took a trip back to pick up letters ssh timelines shh

Right I'll get straight to the point: there's a lot of really mad wildlife in Emprise du Lion, and I do just mean the wildlife right now though why you'd want to live in a frozen shithole is beyond me, and it's cold, and I'm willing to bet not all of you are exactly used to this sort of thing.  So, for a reasonable price or deal unless we already worked something out, I've got bear and wolf pelt blankets.  Now Asher, I hear you ask, what's so special about these blankets, well the thing is, most people get rid of the head and have something that'd look nice spread on the floor but my blankets?  They have sleeves.  And hoods.  Bear and wolf hoods.  I think you see where I'm going with this, right?  I've got plenty of pelts and I expect I'll find more so if you want a blanket, let me know and I'll get it sorted.  Want a regular blanket?  Boring but you can get that too, or mittens for those long boring nights freezing your arse off on watch duty.  If you just want the pelt?  We can arrange that too and other giblets and what have you, say for instance you need bear balls for some potion or tonic, I won't judge.  

[Everyone has to have a hobby and he was raised not to be wasteful.]

Of course if you keep an eye out for the one and only Christine Delacroix, you won't have to take my word for it and she does a damn fine job modelling what's sure to be the latest in Orlesian winterwear. Unless you want to freeze and lose your bits and pieces to frostbite.

Comments

[aceso]

[ Shall we keep a running tally of how many disgusted noises Christine can make in a row? Soon she'll rival Cassandra. ]

No, we do not do that. We also do not have naked orgies in the Harrowing Chamber.

[ Under her breath: ]

I cannot believe someone asked me that.

[el_tybs]

I'm pretty sure you can't because you're looking the wrong way.

[He doesn't actually know that, but Asher doesn't need to know that. Course now he's starting to look around to see if he can see the man.

And Sam's counted up to seven, Christine, but he could easily just count them all as three seeing as several of them didn't have a pause in between.]

We do what? That certainly didn't happen in Ostwick...

[Who was writing these stories or asking these questions?]

Just what were you planning on teaching me?

[hlif]

You want to make this a challenge? You went hunting with me, you know I'm good, I don't show mercy.

[And while he's looking, back to the sexy bits.]

So what do you lot do? I mean you're all teenagers and young adults at some point, trapped in the same place, you don't decide to have fun? I mean really, what is a harrowing chamber honestly good for if you're not going to make sure the desire demons are represented somehow?

[Asher. Asher is asking these questions. He has many books he's read plenty of times devoted to this sort of thing. Not a lot of fun to be found on the wilderness when you don't get off with your own crew.]

Apparently I'm going to have to teach you everything by the sounds of the Circles, that is a shocking state of affairs.

[aceso]

Read. A lot.

[ A lot, a lot. Montsimmard Circle's library was huge, and yet there was little in it that Christine hadn't read at some point. ]

[el_tybs]

Yeah, I went hunting with you. I know what to expect.

[No sudden movements just yet, that would certainly catch attention.]

It's not so much that no one decided to have fun... just kind of hard when you're always being watched?

[It did happen, but the Chantry certainly did not want them doing such things.]

I'm pretty sure that none of us want to represent a demon...

Everything?

[What did everything mean? Oh Maker.]

[hlif]

Really? You just...read books. Ponced about in robes. And read more books. And there’s nothing wrong with an audience, especially Templars, they need a thrill every now and then or they just turn to dust and blow away in the wind. Give them a little something to get jealous and sanctimonious about when all they’ve got is lyrium and the bosom of the Chantry.

[A bosom that isn’t really that impressive. It’s very stern and unforgiving, cold too.]

Yeah but they need a little taste, a little tease. There are worse ways to go than by desire demon for instance. Speaking of which, bet they’d know what I’m on about right now Sam.

[aceso]

It is sad how you think Templars would just watch us instead of pull us apart so we don't make any dreaded mage children.

[ A pause. ]

The men and women, of course. Who knows what they thought of liaisons of the same sex.

[ Maybe Sam could enlighten them? ]

You two can just carry on with your thrilling conversation. It is time I bow out.

[el_tybs]

They didn't allow for relations between the same sex either from what I recall. It was still encouraging sex, and the Chantry hardly wanted mages to sin more than they already were.

[Why do you assume he would know Christine? Huh?]

Asher have you even met a Desire Demon? And more than likely, I can't read minds.

[Possible he had while dreaming, but no way for him to remember that.]

You'll have to show me that slanket later, Christine.