The worst sort of would you rather for doglords, probably

[inagutterson]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Yngvi
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: An important question for doglords/people with dogs, everyone else can chime in
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Just Yngvi in general? Probably language. Feel free to threadjack.

I have a question. [And so goes the dramatic pause. Or just the general pause as Yngvi remembers what the question even was in the first place.] S'pose it's for the dirty doglords among you but if you've got a dog you can answer, or if you feel like making a guess, I'm not some sad little scholar but I want to know the answer.

D'you reckon a Fereldan would make a dog pie if there was nothing else to eat? Or would they starve first and let the dog eat?

[Christine you're welcome.]

Comments

[tactical_alert]

Why, too scrawny and too much hair? [another doglord reporting for duty]

[inagutterson]

No, you're getting confused with teenage doglords mate. And cat's are useful. D'you know how many rats there were in Darktown once the doglords ate them all?

[tactical_alert]

Just means more rats to eat.

I can't speak for my fellow Fereldans, especially those with the preternaturally intelligent mabari, but as for other dogs? In the end, they're merely animals. Should starvation truly set in, I might be driven to eat my own. But all other alternatives at that point would have been considered.

I'd much rather eat a cat first, though. What brought about this morbid line of questioning?

[inagutterson]

Don't eat Kirkwall rats. They're royalty. Never seen a rat king like one of them in all your years, board the tunnels tight lest you go blind seeing their court. Not for human eyes or elves. Grey folk can't wedge themselves down there but me and mine, we have an understanding.

They're not that smart. Still piss on the floor and don't think to blame it on someone else. Still roll in any sort of shit they'll find. Still just big dogs. Bigger and uglier and even smellier than any other dog I've ever met.

Helping out the folks doing the supplies for jobs in tight spots since I've been in lots of tight spots in the past and I know plenty about observing doglords.

[Christine wanted to know but didn't want to ask, so Yngvi's asking for her.]

[tactical_alert]

Kirkwall rats are likely to be terribly scrawny. Just look at Anders.

[inagutterson]

[Please enjoy the silence. It's rare. Rare as tits on a nug.

Now there's an image for you.]

That's outrageous slander, what sort of scrub are you? About the rats because they have courts you could only dream of.

[tactical_alert]

I'm...sure they do. Rats. Yes. I hear the nugs have less fancy but still respectable courts.

[inagutterson]

Don't put ideas in the heads of my children for they are many and pink and furious.

[tactical_alert]

I can't say I've ever seen a furious nug, but I can't imagine they would be anything more than a mere inconvenience.

[inagutterson]

See how you like it when I set Stroganugg, Nugg Wellington and Rump Roast on you with the rest.

[But not Truffles because Truffles is delicate and kind of useless beyond flopping.]

[tactical_alert]

[Malcolm is a very serious though occasionally sarcastic Seeker in a serious position where he definitely does not have snarky side conversations with a bullshit artist and definitely doesn't laugh like a boy at the names of the nugs.

Okay, maybe he's laughing, but. it's a manly laugh.]

They...they sound like delicious little warriors.