sending crystal;

[inagutterson]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Yngvi
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Dwarf stuff
WHEN: Nowish
WHERE: Kirkwall; lurking about some dark corner
NOTES: possible tw for questionable child-rearing and discussions of violence

Right, gotta ask since it's been nigglin' me like a loose tooth for a bit now Inquisition, what d'you all know about dwarves? Rifters you don't get a free pass unless you fell out the skies yesterday, s'not like we're a rare sight but, y'know, 'specially since we've been here a while now and-- [there's a little edge to his voice, he coughs to clear that, can't sound like he gives a shit, just the damp and the smoke lingering yeah?] you've been with lots of dwarves. Lot of my family even!

Might get invited to Sunday dinner if you play your cards right but word to the wise, maybe don't? Politely decline. But not too polite yeah? [Don't know what you'll be served on a Darktown dinner table do you now?]

Comments

[gatheringstorm]

[A soft snort on her end.]

It's not slander if it's true.

Family things are even more of a reason to get a drink. Several strong ones, at that. Which friend and what thing are you talking about?

[inagutterson]

Truth's a malleable thing, heat it up and you can work it easy as you do metal at a forge.

[Yngvi'd know. It's also just him saying words for the sake of it so he doesn't have to think too hard about any of this really or how he really only ever knew her through Asher, whatever Asher told her about him, and that Asher wouldn't betray confidences. He's told Wren and his lady more in less time.]

You don't know my family. [Because you don't. Can't. Won't. Not for outsiders unless they're in and that's only for dwarves the way he's meaning it so what's the point, what's the point when she had family that cared.] The Templar? Ser Coupe? [Betraying too much if he goes about calling her Wren to people.]

[gatheringstorm]

You want that shades-of-grey shit, you need to speak to a bard. It's not the world I live in, you know. Not out there.

[Araceli's line of work has aware of such a mindset, but it's still one that isn't natural to herself, might never be. Which is just fine with her, even as she's always glad for Araceli's insight.]

You're right, I don't. But I know that all families make people tempted to drink, even when you have awesome parents. Which I did. Why else do you think I signed up as soon as I could?

...a templar, seriously? I can see Asher's expression now. [It would probably match her own. Asher was saltier than the sea itself about some things, which is at least part of what bonded them. Saltmates, hating Chantry bullshit together.] As long as she behaves better than the last few idiots we've had, chastising us over the crystals like we're naughty children. I can deal with the ones who at least managed to take the sticks out of their asses first. [Kind of.]

[inagutterson]

Everyone does. We don't get to pick and choose, what, you think 'cause you're really big and you've got a big stick and you do what you like that you're all good? [He could say cruel hurtful things to her but she was Asher's friend and it might help to have someone with a big stick if things get bad.

If Yngvi drank the way other people did about their families, he'd be dead. He knows that. Him and Gunnar worked hard on making sure that going with the Boneflayers looked like a good bet even if they didn't really understand why they wanted to leave, why it was so important.] Didn't know you wanted me dead too, d'you know how big my family is? Couldn't fit all of us comfortably on one ship if you we'd all been in Skyhold and had to be moved back here, what a way to show you care.

And yes, she's a Templar. Same as m'lady is a noble and Asher went to his Lady loving her. [Yeah Asher told, Asher came back pretty mad about that night at the party.] Don't matter if she's a Templar, that were Asher's thing not mine, didn't care who any of us were friends with - Asher liked plenty of Dalish didn't he, Melisende and Liadan can't stand 'em. She's a good person. Solid. Sharp. Know how rare it is to find someone that keeps up with me? [Know how rare it is that a Templar has all their marbles still and sometimes Yngvi has cold sweats about that.]

[gatheringstorm]

I'll settle for 'hotter shit than some others', why not? [Low self-esteem is not one of her problems, though she may be exaggerating just a bit because she can.]

You don't want to get alcohol poisoning, fine, I guess I can't blame you. Or envy you, that sounds like way too many people to get headaches about. [For someone whose family had all left the Qun and therefore had no blood relations, it's a bit mind-boggling.]

It's easier to say a Templar is a good person when you're not one of their traditional targets, you know. [Korrin's grown enough to not rant about individual ones...after some time and her own private vetting process. The Circles may have fallen, but whether they'll stay fallen is another matter. She'd just as soon not get too friendly with those who might see her as a target again.] But someone who can keep up with you? This I almost want to see.

[inagutterson]

[And there it is. That crushing moment when he knows that she's Asher's friend for certain and not really his. That for all the years they've known each other that she's never actually known him as the lessons from his childhood come back to him: you're useful as long as you're useful, keep your mouth shut about all the sentiment and lock it in a box because they aren't going to care when you stop being useful to them.

Swallowing is hard when it burns. When his eyes are stinging and he wants to scream with the unfairness of it all. (When he wants to cry like he hasn't, really, because you learn that crying doesn't accomplish anything, no one comes, you cry and cry and cry and not a single person will come so eventually you stop and it dries up inside you, turns into something else or just gets stuck somewhere hot and terrible, oddly bright and sharp.)]

Because no one else in the world has it worse than a mage, how fucking forgetful of me. [Not like he hasn't been in trouble with them for smuggling lyrium and letters for mages where they would've taken it out on his hide. Not like he hasn't had the guard after him. Not like he hasn't had the Carta who would buy and sell him but no. This is what it is with mages and he's done, he's going to listen to the message he just got from his lady and stop lacerating himself for everyone's listening pleasure but not without a final retort.] She gives a shit about me, same as my lady does, s'a fuckin' sight more than near anyone else in my life past or present.

[gatheringstorm]

Andraste's tits, that is not what I meant and you know it.

[The own edge to her voice returns. She won't apologize for viewing the world from a perspective she's never allowed to forget. Just like she wouldn't expect Yngvi to apologize for his own point of view. But if all he's going to do is snap at her again and again, it's enough to make her wonder why she bothers. He's not Asher and she knows that, but nonetheless there's been that hope that the ghost of their dead friend would be enough to keep them on good terms. Maybe that was a stupid idea. Whatever the truth, her patience is gone.]

Don't go throwing that in my face when you haven't so much as talked to me about what's truly bothering you, Yngvi. You know where I am, you know how to reach me. You don't horde that to yourself and then get to say that I don't care, when you haven't given me a chance. You're hurting, fine, that's abundantly clear. But you know what? You're not the only one. It's all I can do lately to keep afloat, why by the way is not because I'm a fucking mage. I've had my own hurt to deal with, and I've been busy trying not to lash out at everyone like you've just been doing. I refuse to sit here and take waves and waves of bile like a doormat.

When you want to actually talk and not just be a shit at me like I made your life what it is just to piss you off, let me know.

[And she turns off her crystal because she can't stand to hear anymore, not now.]