Who let him have a crystal?

[wardeneructate]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Are the crystals meant for important things? Then why did you give one to Oghren?
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Oghren is his own content warning.

[The message opens up with the mother of all belches. Did he mean to do that? Probably. This is Oghren. Besides, he has your attention now, right? That means it served a purpose so he'll go with it.]

So everyone's been in a mood with this Kirkwall business. All that grumbling and brooding about. Not good for the health, if you ask me.

[One second. He's gotta take a drink. And that noise you might hear is the tavern. Because he's taking a break for drinks okay. That's allowed.]

Alright, here's what we're going to do. We're going to play a sodding game for some laughs. It works like this. I start off and I tell two truths and then one big bleeding lie. Then you guess which the lie is. Get it right and then it's your turn to give me two truths and a lie.

Sound good? Alright then let's see here... Ah wait hang on...

[LOUD FART.]

Ahhhh. Better. Here we go. One time I was in a hurry and rushed out wearing only my girl's drawers. Another time there was a bronto that tried to make me its mate. And another time I spent a night with a bunch of nugs that left food for me when I woke up.

Go on then. Which one is the lie? Game is open to everyone.

Comments

[wardeneructate]

[Weird how he can see those eyes and he can't even see your face.]

Sounds about right. Oghren the Drunk Demon.

[judgemewhole]

I'm going to smite you. Probably over the head with one of your ale bottles.

[That's what Templars do. Not usually with ale bottles though....]

[wardeneructate]

Well you could try but I've got a hard head. Probably just end up hurting yourself to do it.

[He laughs a bit.]

So what do you want to bet if you lose if not alcohol?

[judgemewhole]

More thank likely.

[Hm. Money is not something a Templar has a lot of.]

Every one I get wrong, that is thirty seconds you get to have me singing across the crystals. If you completely thrash me, I'll even let you pick the song.

[wardeneructate]

Heh. Now you're talking. Alright then. I'm going to add it up and so I can get that crystal singing setup for the next time we meet up.

[Because EVERYONE is going to get to hear this.]

My stuff has been figured out already so how about a new round? You ready?