therookery | Who let him have a crystal?

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Are the crystals meant for important things? Then why did you give one to Oghren?
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Oghren is his own content warning.

[The message opens up with the mother of all belches. Did he mean to do that? Probably. This is Oghren. Besides, he has your attention now, right? That means it served a purpose so he'll go with it.]

So everyone's been in a mood with this Kirkwall business. All that grumbling and brooding about. Not good for the health, if you ask me.

[One second. He's gotta take a drink. And that noise you might hear is the tavern. Because he's taking a break for drinks okay. That's allowed.]

Alright, here's what we're going to do. We're going to play a sodding game for some laughs. It works like this. I start off and I tell two truths and then one big bleeding lie. Then you guess which the lie is. Get it right and then it's your turn to give me two truths and a lie.

Sound good? Alright then let's see here... Ah wait hang on...

[LOUD FART.]

Ahhhh. Better. Here we go. One time I was in a hurry and rushed out wearing only my girl's drawers. Another time there was a bronto that tried to make me its mate. And another time I spent a night with a bunch of nugs that left food for me when I woke up.

Go on then. Which one is the lie? Game is open to everyone.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Guess you'll have to try again and live with the fact that you messed up.

I'm pretty sure I can live with myself if that happens. So there isn't any 'punishment' for actually getting it wrong?

Punishment, huh?

[He hadn't thought about that one... What can he...do... Wait. This alcohol in front of him is a good idea.]

Every time you get one wrong you have to take a swig of ale when we're face to face sometime. Same goes for me.

[Ta-da! Drinking game! He's so clever.]

[Honestly he had thought this was a drinking game and couldn't figure where the drinking happened.]

Face to face... alright.

[Sam doesn't try to hide the grin on his face considering no one could see him.]

Hm. The one about the drawers then.

Got that one right. Now you give me some and I'll figure out the lie. Let's see if old Oghren can see how good you are at this.

[He laughs a bit as he has himself a drink. Seriously he's not bothered by the fact that he might have to drink his weight later. It'll be worth it.]

[He got it? Huh. The nug thing was alright, but the other one... let's say he's just a bit concerned.]

Hm.

[Well now he has to think since he wasn't exactly prepared.]

Let's see....One time I hit Zevran with a snowball. Sometimes I turn into a bear. And this year I turned 30.

[Dooooon't question it, Sam. You don't even want the answers to things Oghren's been through.]

That first one. Don't know that you managed to pull that one off. Other two seem pretty likely though. Especially if you got a case of sparkle fingers like Sparkles does.

[He knows better then to ask, but sometimes he just ends up doing it. He'll just keep pushing on and try not to think about it.]

Sparkles?

[Who was that?]

Sorry, but that isn't the lie. That'll be one swig of ale.

It's Anders' name. Because he's got magic fingers from healing mage things.

[And he has no problem telling EVERYONE that's what he's named Anders.]

Wait, wait. Before I even go another step further you're telling me how you hit that elf in that face. I need this story.

Huh.

[He supposes that makes sense. Course now he's wondering if all dwarves gave nicknames since the other two he had known did that as well.]

Well I didn't hit him in the face, but I did catch him in the back with a snowball. He was up in a tree in the valley about... a year or so back, during a snowball fight the Inquisition decided to hold. Some of the kids were trying to get at him and dragged me along to lop one at him. I don't know what he was paying more attention to, but I guess he hadn't expected me to be there.

And then he proceeded to chase me down, but that was to be expected.

[On the best ones, Sam. Only the best ones.]

Heh. That sounds about right. Bet he managed to get you back too what with that whole assassin thing he's got going on.

Alright then I bet you don't turn thirty then.

Yes, he certainly did. Thankfully with a snowball in return.

Well I'm hoping that I will eventually... but yes that is the lie.

Unless you're stupid you'll manage it.

Course you can be stupid and make it past that. I'm proof of that much.

So you're saying you're past thirty?

[He chuckles lightly, actually enjoying the game and conversation.]

Course I am. I'm Oghren.

[Yeah. That Oghren.]

I wasn't going to assume the name came with an age.

Who let him have a crystal?

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