A warning

[justice_is_blond]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Anders, Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: People are being warned
WHEN: Current!
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Oghren. Blue is Oghren, bold is Anders.

[There's a heavy sigh before he speaks; the first speaker, Anders, might be having some serious regrets.]

We've a new Warden, or rather an old Warden returned to the group, and I've a warning to issue: if you're challenged to a drinking contest with a particularly smelly dwarf, do not take it. The Wardens are not responsible for what happens if you decide to ignore this advice. Honestly, your best bet is to steer clear altoge--what are you drinking now?

[There's some bottles clinking together followed by a loud belch before Oghren speaks up.]

You need some better alcohol. This tastes worst than actual piss. Funny color to it too.

That's not... Maker's breath, Oghren, that's not for gulping down! Put the remnants of the potions down and stop messing with them! If you puke or you die, you better do it outside this tent. I'm not responsible for that either.

[There's more clinking as Anders gathers up what remnants he can.]

What are you going on about? That wasn't ale? [There's a pause.] My ancestors fat tits, what was that, sparkle fingers?

Who would keep ale in the healing tents? That was twenty doses of emetic. Now step outside, because you are not going to get sick in here.

[There's now a grumble and some rustling.] Never heard of keeping something good around for pain. Got to have those potions instead. Can't just have a good ale or something stronger. Got to be... [The sound trails off as he heads outside.]

[There's another heavy sigh. Anders sounds like he's already exhausted when he continues.]

Don't challenge him. Just don't. And if anyone listening cares to bring additional ghoul's beard to the healing tents, I'm in need of it.

Comments

[not_the_question]

Are you kidding? Scotch isn't about contests. It's a serious drink for serious conversations.

[Might be said slightly light-heartedly. The Doctor doesn't really do Serious Conversations any more and he didn't think Jamie would be so willing.]

[degenere]

Perhaps it is. I know very little of the elves. Or perhaps it is a figurative, yes? A toe instead of a proper root.

I know little enough, too, of herbs and plants. It is the creatures to which I have devoted my natural studies. If you have some, I would like to see it.

[issala]

Hah! I'll warn Korrin.

Still Private

[wontforgetyou]

Think that there might have to be more than one go around with the drinks, in that case.

...And maybe some of those blooming onion things if I can talk someone into making them.

Forever Private

[justice_is_blond]

Aren't they... When they start blooming, isn't that when you should plant them, not eat them?

[wontforgetyou]

Oh aye, I know. This isn't exactly Scotch, though. It's some of that Qunari stuff.

[And they'd just have to see what happens when it comes to Serious Conversations.]

[not_the_question]

I'd be willing to give it a go, if I have your permission.

[The last bit was said a bit grumble-y. Well moreso than usual. He now feels like he needs Jamie's permission for such things.]

[wardeneructate]

Unless that's why he's not married to her anymore. Heh.

[Oghren stop.]

[wardeneructate]

Now you're just insulting. I'm not human in the slightest. I'm a dwarf of Orzammar and made of tougher stuff than you think.

[wardeneructate]

Now you're talking. I like you already. Anyone willing to share their drinks is a friend of mine.

[For the most part. There are rules to this too.]

[wardeneructate]

There you go then. You should have more confiden... [Sudden BUUUUUUURP.] Huh. Still had some vomit gasses in there, I guess.

[wardeneructate]

I'm protective of my stuff too. Don't want anyone touching it unless I share it. But I bet I could get my hands on this delicious alcohol anyway.

[wardeneructate]

Have you ever been married?

[wardeneructate]

Heh. Good. Get ready to pass out under a table, kid.

[wardeneructate]

What do you think we Wardens are doing? Why drink blood when just some dwarven ale will do the trick just fine? You ever have any of the stuff?

[He has a feeling this guy has his head too far up his sodding backside to have had any proper black ale from Orzammar.]

[wardeneructate]

Their heads are usually on the floor before that happens. My axe makes quick work of an enemy.

[not_the_question]

Did I say 'human'? No. I said humanoid: two eyes, two arms, two feet, peachy skin. Anyone who didn't know you were a dwarf would call you human. Therefore you're humanoid. As opposed to Octopedial. Which means having eight legs.

[He had to go there, didn't he? Yup, he did, sorry.]

[sunshinethroughgrey]

[Oh, Oghren. You should have stopped while you were ahead.]

...She passed through the Fade, some fifteen years ago.

[issala]

Holy shit that was impressive!

[He is, after all, a teenage boy.]

[issala]

Maybe if you charm Korrin or Taashath!

[in_death_sacrifice]

I- no, I haven't.

[You can practically feel the brooding in his words.]

[in_death_sacrifice]

I'm looking forward to it.

[Wait, wait, wait.]

Not passing out, I mean rising to this challenge. To be clear.

[wardeneructate]

...Blasted foot. Just had to go insert your sodding self into my mouth again.

[He grumbles because he knows that he should have stopped. That's his own error there.]

Can't say if it's good or not that she went to the Fade though. I've seen it. How you mages can handle that place is beyond me.

[wardeneructate]

If they mistook me for a human they'd find themselves missing some stones. No dwarf is anything like a human. We've got plenty of differences.

For one our women have more meat on their rumps.

[Shush. That's important.]

[wardeneructate]

What that? Bah, that was nothing. I could do better than that in my sleep. [Likely has too.]