A SURVEY

[aventuriere]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Baroness Frédérique Durfort-Lacapalette, Brother Jehan Mercier, and Valentine Nicasius Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Important questions
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Everywhere
NOTES: Please threadjack

Inquisition, we have a question for you.

[ DO NOT SILENCE YOUR CRYSTALS. That is an Orlesian voice, but it is not Val de Foncé's voice. Instead, it is the voice of a woman, which makes it immediately superior. You are probably safe. Maybe. Keep listening. ]

You see, we are scholars. The best of scholars! And this Inquisition, it offers the most magnifique opportunities to learn more of this world and we, my friends, we are here to take on that most noble challenge!

We are conducting a study. [ From the tavern. ] Which of Thedas' nations is your favorite? Le plus fantastique? [ A pause, some murmuring reminder while the crystal is covered with a hand. ] You may not say Orlais, and you must explain why, pour l'étude.

[ HERE is Val’s voice. Please keep listening. ]



You may not say Orlais because we already know that it is Orlais. We have been to Orlais, many times. [ A voice cuts in, dry: ] We are even from Orlais, in case you had not guessed. [ From, you know. The really obvious accents. ] For this, we seek other answers. Answers that are more diverse. Perhaps it is better to say second best? Second favorite? With, naturally, Orlais being the favorite. We are, you see, all in disagreement.

It is threatening to tear us apart, when we have only just been brought back together.

Yes, because you are wrong. If you would cease to be so wrong, we would not be torn apart!

No, you are-- Ah, courage, my friends! We must not be torn apart. [ There is some shuffling and oofing. It is possible that arms are being thrown about shoulders and necks are being squeezed. ] Inquisition, we turn to you, on behalf of our reunion, and the great Baroness Haut-Brion.

If you answer our question we will permit you to call her Freddie.

You will permit nothing, but I may permit it, if your answers are particularly clever.

Also, for a bet-- [ Should Chantry Brothers make bets? Shh. Should Chantry Brothers pause while speaking to drink wine? Shhhhh. ] How many times per day is it reasonable to pray? Suppose that you are also reasonably faithful.

Suppose that you are a madman, a holy madman--

And that you desire nothing more than to be Andraste's second husband and like Maferath to be cuckolded by the Maker himself--

[ Should Chantry brothers dump wine over the heads of their friends? Shhhhhhhhh. ]

Comments

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Does it count as land if a big part of it is desert? Well, you still conquered it so I suppose it does.

Although I have to agree. The Anderfels is really not the best. They have very nice statues and their fortresses are extremely sturdy but that is it.

[degenere]

Your pardon. Why would a desert not count?

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Be-cause hardly anyone lives in the desert?

[degenere]

Ah. So where you are from, they esteem land only by the people that live upon it. Mademoiselle, that is quite reductive.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Well when you put it that way, I suppose in Fereldan we don't have people all over the mountains. I apologize, I didn't mean to insult your desert. It's a very nice desert - you even gave us some fortresses out there and we appreciate them.

[degenere]

They weren't mine, mademoiselle. If I had designed those fortresses, you would have a great many praises to sing of them, and then, by extension, of Orlais.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Well they work well enough. They've been standing for hundreds of years, after all. However if you want to build us a new fortress, I'm sure we wouldn't object.

[degenere]

Alas, my compass is promised to another structure.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Well that's a shame. I am sure we are all sorry that we will not have a beautifully designed new fortress. What are you building?

[degenere]

I am first contemplating Skyhold, of course.

[heda]

[ A new voice, flat and dry. ] People live all over the mountains. And they are not Fereldans.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Oh! I didn't mean that no people live there. I just meant that is sparsely populated.

Naturally the Avvar are people.

[heda]

Less sparsely than you believe.

[apologist]

How many are there, would you say?

[sunshinethroughgrey]

So you really are living all throughout the mountains? Even on the highest peaks?

[Now that was interesting!]

Why didn't you settle in Skyhold, then?

[degenere]

Then who are they?

[heda]

Avvar.

[degenere]

And how is it you know so much of the Avvar?

[--He asks, in a tone that suggests he's guessed probably how she knows so much.]

[justice_is_blond]

...That's it.

Really.

First opportunity we have, I'm taking you to see the beauty of it.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

You mean before or after they try to assassinate us for going against the Warden kings?

[justice_is_blond]

During, of course. Like I'd ever be short on people trying to assassinate me. This just adds to the excitement.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

[Now that gets you a laugh.]

Oh honestly, Anders. Although if they are trying to assassinate you, you must be doing something right.

[justice_is_blond]

I believe some would argue that with you. But I'm trying.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

I am getting fairly used to being argued with today.

[justice_is_blond]

This is what this group seems to inspire.

[But it's amusing. And a respite.]