ombranera: (That is not how I look at things)
Zevran Arainai ([personal profile] ombranera) wrote in [community profile] therookery2016-06-22 02:37 am

[ OPEN ] Love me, love me, say that you love me

FORM: Sending Crystal
SENDER: Alistair & Zevran
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: The boys broadcast a simple thinking game.
WHEN: Before Leliana’s assassination attempt.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Adult Content, Alcohol Consumption, Adult Language, Some Sexual Content, Reader Discretion is Advised


You know, we have a game in Antiva, usually one played over drinks or during long hours while awaiting a merchant or a contact for our business- or occasionally played over a meal. Tonight I mean to play it over drinks- [ There is the tell tale sound of brandy being poured not once, but twice over. ] It is a terribly simple thing at the core. It is a game of choices and defending those choices, one of opinions. The choices are not meant to be easy ones- if they are easy to make and easier to defend? The question pitched was done incorrectly. On occasion the choices themselves are to be nigh impossible to make. It is something to agonized over while the game lasts and set aside easily without consequence once it is done.

The game is this: You are given a list of three names. Three marvelous, gorgeous, impressive people that you hold in high regard or admiration.

Or three people who are all completely awful, [ cuts in Alistair, who is Helping, and whose life coping strategies currently include a quantity of alcohol sufficient to induce good cheer but that can't actually be blamed for any bad decisions. ] Three disgusting, terrible people.

And then? The choice.

Of the three you must choose which you would marry, which you would kill, and which you would bed.

And no one takes it personally, ideally.

All in good fun, yes? And this is why the choice must be difficult. One of them dies, hypothetically, one you may have once and never again, depending upon who it is you choose to wed. Simple.

Now say we were to take...Merrill, Dorian, and Leliana. Alistair- what would you choose?

[ A long pause, and then the wounded tone of a man who did not think this through when he agreed to go along with it: ] I don't want to kill any of them.

That is why the choice is difficult and why it is a game.

Ugh. I'm pretty sure all three of them would kill me first. [ BUT FINE. ] Maybe not Merrill. So maybe I'd kill her, for the sake of self-preservation. And I'd marry Dorian. But I think if I say I'd bed Leliana I'm going to die anyway--whatever. That. No one kill me.

Interesting choice. I myself would marry Leliana as it would matter little to either of us, bed Merrill and, alas, kill Dorian. Or... perhaps I ought to bed Dorian, marry Merrill, and kill Leliana- who would likely manage to fake it somehow and the point would be moot.

[ Cheater is mumbled in the background. ]

You are only sad because you did not think of it yourself. [ Soft and singsong. ]

So now I put it to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. Make suggestions of trios, comment upon them with your choice, debate the decisions made, or simply sit back and laugh at the foolishness. I know I look forward to any dilemma supplied.

Because you're a cheater.

[ OOC: as well as listing your suggestions in the comment, please put them in the subject line if they’re a top level! Threadjacking is encouraged, have fun. ]
elegiaque: (107)

[personal profile] elegiaque 2016-06-22 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know Merrill, so she dies. I don't know Dorian, which is ideal in a husband, so I'll marry him. And Sister Nightingale is exquisite.

( in a sort of terrifying way, but - that really isn't a con for some of us.

there was absolutely no hesitation or deliberation in this answer. )

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fightingale: (pic#9839080)

[personal profile] fightingale 2016-06-22 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
Boys.

( take that as you will. )

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easternseaqueen: (Well You Know...)

[personal profile] easternseaqueen 2016-06-22 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
I'd bed them all, and kill the first one who proposes.

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glandival: (#9812317)

[personal profile] glandival 2016-06-22 08:10 am (UTC)(link)
Mm. The natural order of things dictate I marry the elf, sleep with the Orlesian, and kill the magister. I think.

What are you drinking?

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eviscerates: (004)

Man she's immune to this game

[personal profile] eviscerates 2016-06-22 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
Huh. We have that one back home, but it's nl usually phrases so... delicately? As "bedding," anyway.

SO IMMUNE

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WOLVES CAN'T LIE IT'S A FACT

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liberalum: (#10219818)

[personal profile] liberalum 2016-06-22 08:12 am (UTC)(link)
I don't stand to inherit anything, if anyone is wondering.

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disgracedchampion: (pic#9758781)

[personal profile] disgracedchampion 2016-06-22 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
A game in which someone must metaphorically die. It certainly sounds Antivan.

[You did ask him to get in touch with you, he's not touching the game however.]

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rebelenchanter: (pic#10026813)

[personal profile] rebelenchanter 2016-06-22 10:41 am (UTC)(link)
Hmmm...you've got me in a box here.

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gatheringstorm: (terrible influence)

[personal profile] gatheringstorm 2016-06-22 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Snickering from Korrin, who knows this game well.]

I'd marry Dorian for the sheer scandal of an 'ox' and a Tevinter 'magister', bed Leliana and...sorry, Merrill. Give me three people I know better and it might be more of a challenge.

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bookish_lioness: (Are you sure about that?)

[personal profile] bookish_lioness 2016-06-22 11:36 am (UTC)(link)
... it's amazing, the sorts of things that actually remain consistent between worlds while others do not.

[Why a variation of something that had been a distasteful game she'd had to break up in the corridors or in the library of Hogwarts would pop up here, of all places, is beyond her, and probably speaks volumes about the sorts of things people of all backgrounds think about to entertain themselves.]

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youwonscience: (let there be light)

[personal profile] youwonscience 2016-06-22 12:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, you found a universal constant. Have you run across anyone who isn't familiar with this game yet?

[She doesn't assume her response means she'll get roped into playing, exactly, but Cosima sounds amused all the same.]

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chainlightning: (❧ :c)

[personal profile] chainlightning 2016-06-22 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She is in a great deal of pain, trying to recover from the physical and emotional wounds that Justice (Vengeance) had inflicted. She keeps her crystal close to listen, to try to distract herself from the mocking words, from the seeds of doubt and guilt and anguish that the spirit had only helped sprout once more.

That's when she hears her name, and hears over and over- she is not who many would pick. She should have died like her clan.

She hurts and all of that pain is clear for a moment, a noise escaping her before she can help it. ]


Oh.

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twelvelabours: (pic#9367102)

[personal profile] twelvelabours 2016-06-22 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Marry Merrill, bed Dorian, kill the Nightingale. ( Matter of fact, obvious, simple. )

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universal_charm: (Oh Come ON)

[personal profile] universal_charm 2016-06-22 02:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Man, when was the last time I played this one?

Uh - well, I only know one of those people, so based on that... Marry Merrill, bed Dorian, and kill Leliana because I'm sure she'd kill me if I tried the other two with her. Strike first and all that.

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hlif: (Default)

[personal profile] hlif 2016-06-22 03:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Bed Merrill because she knows what I'm all about and I want to know just how much she liked my gift, marry Leliana because it'd be an Avvar marriage for me and I'm bad at dealing with knots, and kill Dorian. Because I'm an Avvar and he's from Tevinter, I don't give a shit if he's nice.

And don't say I can't pick Avvar rules because I'm not dealing with any Chantry bullshit for a game.

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foxsays: (Like hair loosened by the sea)

[personal profile] foxsays 2016-06-22 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I believe I would bed Merrill, she seems very sweet and is entirely my type. Sister Nightingale...I would marry? [Unless she had to kill her for some reason but well, she wouldn't say that over the network, and Zevran knows too much about her other employer at home and their relationship.] This is terrible, she is my teacher, but marriage yes, she is lovely and wonderful but I do not complicate lessons and love unless love is the lesson. Which it would not be with her, I hasten to add.

As for Dorian, he is a man, what need would I ever have of a man? Off he would go. But I would make it very quick and very painless, if that is consolation to this very famous nice Tevinter I still have yet to meet, what a terrible impression I am making. Perhaps you might pick another trio for me?

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failedfirst: (no are you kidding)

[personal profile] failedfirst 2016-06-22 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I've heard other Wardens playing this before. It's usually used to insult another person in the room, isn't it?

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faithstarved: (And you're locked inside my heart)

[personal profile] faithstarved 2016-06-22 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Did you clean up the language for the more delicate sensibilities of all the nobles we have running about?

I don't really know any of those in your sample pool. I can only say for sure I'd likely marry Sister Nightingale because the alternatives are terrifying, and likely kill the Tevinter, so I suppose that leaves Merrill to f-bed.
Edited (stupid italics) 2016-06-22 15:34 (UTC)

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lionheartedman: (oh dear)

[personal profile] lionheartedman 2016-06-22 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Can you think of no better use of your time?

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el_tybs: Evan Antin (Default)

[personal profile] el_tybs 2016-06-22 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's got time on his hands and this seems... interesting to say the least.]

Merrill, Dorian, and Leliana?

I suppose from that I would marry Merrill? Bed Dorian and kill Leliana?

I don't know any of them exceptionally well but Merrill I've had decent conversation with at least and seems like someone I wouldn't mind being with.

I highly doubt I'd be able to even kill Leliana, but I'm pretty sure suggesting marrying or bedding her would lead to my death anyways so might as well just make a battle to the death kind of thing.

[Not to mention the rickity chair and webbing from that one time.

And he doesn't mention Dorian again because does he have to?]


universal_charm: (Default)

[personal profile] universal_charm 2016-06-22 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know if I find it comforting or not that we have the same reasoning about Leliana.

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sunshinethroughgrey: (Mischief!)

[personal profile] sunshinethroughgrey 2016-06-22 04:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[There is the choked some of someone laughing who is, in fact, in so much pain from her chest wounds that it sounds more like 'Ha! Ow, Hahaha, ow, ha, oh Maker my stitches ...']

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byblow: (62)

rage demon/terror demon/despair demon

[personal profile] byblow 2016-06-22 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Say— [ there is a pause here to drink, but again, he isn't drunk, and this is entirely his fault ] —say it's demons. A rage demon, a terror demon, and a despair demon.

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arcaneadvisor: (Default)

swooping in

[personal profile] arcaneadvisor 2016-06-22 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Alistair, I have a question of my own, if I might: Oghren, Sten and a velvet Cailan. Zevran you may feel free to answer yourself though tis Alistair's answer that interests me most.

[There are reasons. Something waits for Alistair.]
byblow: Leliana and Morrigan are doing what (92)

[personal profile] byblow 2016-06-22 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)

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private.

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ancarrow: (003)

[personal profile] ancarrow 2016-06-22 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
From what Ellana's told me, Dorian would have little interest in bedding me. He may have to be the one I kill, just so I save him an unhappy marriage. I think I'd marry Sister Nightingale -- I confess I'm a little in awe of her still, but I'd want my spouse to be someone proven to care as much about uplifting my people as much as I do. Which leaves Merrill to be the one to take to my bed. I'm afraid I don't know her, I hope she's a good choice there.

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dragoon_pride: (ow...)

[personal profile] dragoon_pride 2016-06-22 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[Pardon the dragoon here, he's in considerable pain and only half-conscious and barely able to move. Just kind of drifting in and out when he hears that whole thing.]

Fuck.

Everyone.

[This doesn't mean what you think it means, Kain, now, does it?]
byblow: (95)

[personal profile] byblow 2016-06-23 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
That could take quite a while.

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