therookery | Crystal

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Mobius and Abby
RECIPIENT: Youse
NOTES: Gentle reminder from your friendly librarians. ITT: Pedant behaviour and idle threats of violence

[There's a small moment of taking a breath, with a sound and tone like a tired schoolteacher.]

I'd like to remind people of some basic library etiquette. The library is for everyone. Don't be loud, rowdy, or obnoxious while in there. If you make a mess, clean it up. Don't run. Don't leave candles burning after you're done with them. Don't reshelve books yourself. Popular books can have waitlists, and said list will be followed, and no, you cannot skip places unless someone decides they don't actually want it after all.

If you must bring food and drink into the library, say for a long research session, [Viktor, Stephen,] be careful about it. Don't eat over a book and get crumbs and jam and grease stains all over the texts. If you spill your ale over it and it comes back in an unacceptable condition, you're getting charged for it. There are old maps, scrolls, tomes, and the like in the library that are invaluable to us, so be mindful of how you handle them. And, accidents happen. If you damage a book, just be upfront about it. A lot of it can be mended, like broken spines, loose covers, and more.

Dog-ears are annoying; bookmarks exist.

[There's a lean forward.]

Do not. write. in. the books.

[And a lean back.]

If you don't return your overdue books, I'll break your arm.

She's joking.

I'm not. Try it.

Abby—

[The crystal clicks off.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, I wouldn't go that far. Silver 'Stache and Muscles, here—I wouldn't say no to either of them, if they were sweet about it.

I appreciate it. When I'm not defending the honor of books, I might be able to wring out some sweetness.

Hey Abby, I think we've got ourselves a team name.

'Silver 'Stache and Muscles'?

Pass.

How about Professor Pages and the no fun at all?

Wait— (This PSA is backfiring.

Weakly,) I'm fun.

Fun people let me call them Muscles.

Sometimes people call me Abs.

I guess that is a kind of muscle. But are your abs the best ones you have? The ones you want to be known for?

Haven't thought about it before. My arms, I guess.

Don't think I get to decide which ones are my best, though. That should probably be peer reviewed.

You're right. It should be. We should do a review.

Who is "we"?

(no subject)

biggame - 2024-03-12 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

armd - 2024-03-12 03:12 (UTC) - Expand

Wring it out? What are we talking about here? A trickle? Or like when you can squeeze a little water out onto the surface of a cloth but as soon as you stop squeezing it goes back in?

Now I don't know which one sounds better, since they both make me sound like kind of an asshole.

Maybe like a satchel of tea, wringing out the rest of the water from the tea for that little bit more flavor.

Bitter flavour.

[ Whispering— ]

What? Has he been mean to you? Tell me everything.

He did once threaten to eject me from the library.

[—not whispering.]

[ STILL WHISPERING. ]

How cruel!

The teabag you leave sitting in the tea because you got distracted and forgot it existed until it's stone cold, then. I'm a big boy, I can take unflattering metaphors.