this is my first network post in this game oh god i hope i don't ruin it

[twelvelabours]

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: Hercules Hansen
RECIPIENT: locked to Grey Wardens! Grey Wardens only club!!!
WHAT: Anders & what do with him: a Grey Warden opinions discussion
WHEN: late Guardian /mumbles vaguely - set after Anders turns himself into Herc, before Leliana deduces is identity
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES:
This is regarding the Anders reveal plot, as discussed in this ooc post and as a follow-on from this log thread.
Threadjacking and hopping around encouraged!
If you'd like a thread with Herc to turn to actionspam for characters in Skyhold, go for it.

Wardens. We’ve got something important to discuss. If you’re not someplace private, stop listening now, drop whatever it is you’re doing, and get somewhere suitable. This is strictly Warden business.

( This is not the happy and friendly Herc. This is tense and angry Herc, even with his temper very carefully kept in check.

He leaves a pause to allow them to either stop listening without him accidentally unveiling something, if they need to, takes a breath, and carries on. There might be the sound of wind whipping behind him as he stands on the ramparts - what you can’t hear is the sound of him trying to reduce Anders to ash with his gaze. )

A Grey Warden who left our numbers has handed himself in to answer for crimes committed. Not against the Grey Wardens, but against Kirkwall and the Chantry. Some of you already know this man. Some of you knew him by the adopted name ‘Detlef.’ Others will just know the crimes of the mage Anders.

( Considering how to continue, what to say next, Herc exhales a moment. What a day. )

Anders has turned himself into us of his own free will, ( which unfortunately denied Herc the chance to tackle-slam him face first into a wall, ho hum ) and confessed to blowing up the Kirkwall Chantry, an act he claims was for the sake of mage freedom.

( He pauses, there. )

I don’t have much of a personal stake in that. I’m not a man of the Chantry, and I’m not a mage. Far as I’m concerned, there’s mages and there’s mages. The likes of Bethany and Kaiden have saved my life more times than I can count. Others can be dangerous, and I reckon the same goes for Templars, same as any other person. You’ve got honourable ones, and you’ve got monstrosities.

Now, I don’t even know all about what was happening in Kirkwall, back then, but I can’t say I’m a fan of killing some innocent people for the sake of saving other innocent people, one way or the other.
( Sounds like a pile of crap to him, personally. ) And as Grey Wardens, our roles is to try and protect all of Thedas. From the Blight and darkspawn, usually, but I don’t think innocent lives being lost, no matter who they belong to, sits well with any of us.

( Still. )

But Nathaniel reminded me that we all know how much someone can change, and that we all come to the Wardens for different reasons. Atonement is one, but Anders’ fate isn’t something any one of us can decide. He’s one of our own, and he’s our responsibility. Speak up with your thoughts.

Whatever our decision is, we are telling the Inquisition. The Wardens integrity isn’t going to be compromised any further.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

[He draws a breath that's a little shaky, though he wishes it weren't.]

What would you like to hear? My reasons, my regrets... ask a question and I'll give you an answer.

[unbrokenoath]

Why did you name your cat Ser Pounce? Was he knighted???

[ The people need 2 no ]

[twelvelabours]

Kaisa, this is serious.

[unbrokenoath]

...Yessir.

[ Sorry dad. :c ]

[justice_is_blond]

Kaisa.

[His voice is gentle. As much as he'd love to talk about cats, it's not the place. He'd only commented on Nate's wording out of nerves, really.]

[unbrokenoath]

...Sorry. This is just--

[ She twists her lips, trying to figure out how to voice, exactly, her feelings. ]

--I'm worried.

I hate it when I can't solve something by just smacking it with a sword. And this has a lot of potential to go tits up on everyone.

[justice_is_blond]

I know. ...I'm sorry.

[There's a short beat.]

Ser Pounce-a-Lot, to be precise. He liked his full name.

[He's putting so much weight on the shoulders of people he cares about... and people he doesn't even know. If he can ease it just a little, well.]

[unbrokenoath]

[ She gives a short snort. ]

Hey--This'll be okay. Everything will work out in time. It'll be bumpy at first, but we'll get it smoothed out.

I told you that I'd protect you.

[justice_is_blond]

[Why do his friends make him worry so much?]

As I told Nate, mind the cost. Please.

[doneisdone]

[Teren's glare can, somehow, be felt through the crystal.]

[unbrokenoath]

[ :> ]

[doneisdone]

Start from the beginning. Tell us what you would tell a judge, and spare us any histrionics. If you lie to us in your account, it will work against you all the more when the Inquisition gets involved.

[justice_is_blond]

[...what counts as the beginning? That gets a pause.]

The beginning... There are dozens of places that would count as the beginning. I'll try to narrow the scope.

[Another breath.]

I went to Kirkwall because they'd taken someone I held dear to the city; Kirkwall's Circle was lacking in senior enchanters because they kept killing them and he was transferred from Ferelden's Circle. From the start, it was clear that things were even worse there than they usually were when one group of people who had done nothing wrong were locked up.

They set a trap for me. As the Templars did multiple times while I was serving in the Grey Wardens, which is the reason I left originally. This trap ended the life of the senior enchanter I was there for, [and he's so proud of not letting his voice waver,] but showed me that there were serious abuses going on in the Circle.

[Another pause.]

I'm skimming heavily. The details stretch over a decade of time. But I will boil it down to a few points.

One, Meredith was clearly unchecked, and mages were literally dying or being made Tranquil daily. Her escalation was steady. The Rite of Annulment was coming.

Two, no one would care when it did. That's hundreds of mages who would be killed, and it wouldn't matter because it would be done legally.

They... [another breath. He needs to continue talking levelly. Somehow. It's not easy.]

I had an underground network. One set up to get small things in, letters from home, novels, little things, and to get mages out who were most in danger of being made Tranquil and raped, and I do not exaggerate. This network was almost entirely non-mages. The Templars slaughtered them down to the last. This is after they ended who my, my friend was by illegally making him Tranquil.

If you saw this happening to your people, if your pleas for someone to step in were ignored, if you knew that they were all dead and it was only a matter of time, could you sit there? Could you simply let it happen?

I regret the loss of life. I sincerely do. But the death toll would have been the same without my actions, and we'd still have Circles. We'd still have the Rite of Annulment looming over us all, and Templars hunting any who sought a life outside thick, cold walls, and everyone would have seen Kirkwall as nothing but just another time when mages had to be put down.

[doneisdone]

Bethany? Is all of this true, to your knowledge?

[sunshinethroughgrey]

[Deep breath, Bethany.]

I will be honest, Warden von Skraedder ...Meredeth had unlimited power. She ramrod over the Viscount while he was alive, and after he was dead? From what I can see it was getting worse.

[She sighed.]

I do not agree with his actions in blowing up in the Chantry - but he is right. Sooner or later, the death toll would have been the same. Mostly because of Orsino. He was going to become an abomination - and had it not been discovered in the aftermath of the Chantry blowing up? I cannot imagine how badly it would have gone - not only for our fellow mages, but for all of Kirkwall. The Templar Order of Kirkwall certainly would have been completely destroyed.

[doneisdone]

Bearing this in mind, I am favor of mercy. But not without consequences.

[byblow]

What do you think we should do with you?

[justice_is_blond]

I can't say, Alistair. I know what I'd like to be done, I know what others would like to see done. But what I set in motion means that my preference has no bearing on things.

[byblow]

No one is going to actually do what you want because you want it, don't worry. I'm sure no one but is that nice. I just want to know what you think is fair.

[justice_is_blond]

Life isn't fair.

[He'd been trying to dodge the question, but he's never been good at that. It's like bluffing, really, a skill set he simply doesn't have. Anders sighs.]

It would be fair to end my life. It would be fair to second Hawke's judgement, that I should spend the rest of what days I have atoning and helping. I don't know which I think is more fair because it changes between the two.

[byblow]

No harm in trying to make it fair.

[ That answers his question, though, cheers. ]

[pinprick]

It would be fair to accept that he has been treated like a mass-murderer since childhood. If you beat a dog until it bites, you don't put the dog down.

[bunko]

But-- [sooo tentatively--] --but, you do not wish to die. Do you?

[paperwing]

[Very clipped, much anger. But she's trying to be civil.]

What changed? Was- Justice what changed you?

[justice_is_blond]

[He can understand the anger, and his voice is mild.]

Justice changed me, yes. He helped me to realize that my struggle for my freedom alone was selfish, when there were so many who were going through even worse than I ever did. Kinloch Hold was not the worst Circle. It was not the kindest, but there were worse.