A Modest Request | Written

[maidit]

FORM: Book
SENDER: Ms Ashey Pelt
RECIPIENT: Riftwatch
NOTES: This is absolutely serious and all of Ashey's responses will be in writing.

For the considerations of the Most Honorable Seras and Madames ect of Riftwatch:

In light of recent staff change overs within the Laundry Room, it has been noted the following information is not readily available.

Please provide the following as they apply to ones wardrobe, for ease of service:
Your name.
Expected Hazards (excessive bodily fluids, dark liquids, ect).
Known Irritants.

If you wish to discuss these matters in private or have specific instructions per garment, please direct all correspondences to Ms A. Pelt.

Comments

[technologist]

"Excessive bodily fluids"

[maidit]

Blood, vomit, ect.

[rathercommon]

Gross.

[maidit]

Indeed, but very good information to have on hand so one is prepared for the worst.

[rathercommon]

You oughtn't have to deal with that sort of thing.

[maidit]

That's kind of you to say, but you needn't worry. I am far more prepared then most for removing offending stains quickly without causing damage to the garment in question. It is my job after all.

[rathercommon]

Blood? Vomit? That's far more than a reasonable person would expect of you, even if it is your job.

[maidit]

Nonsense. I'm not expecting to be handling it on a regular basis, but even in a normal household, such things can happen and it's important to take the appropriate steps to prepare for it. One must assume that this particular organization is not a normal household, therefore the risk of oddly stained clothing that requires special treatment is increased.

[technologist]

[ he probably knew they didn't have washing machines, instinctively, but he could've done without this level of specificity. ]

Do you not just have a magic spell for cleaning up messes?

[maidit]

[ This must be one of those strange Rift People she's heard about. ]

If there is, it is not something many would have access to.

[technologist]

[ that's a very reasonable answer, actually. ]

Fair. Doesn't Riftwatch have mages?

[inkindled]

Yes serah we mages have got loads of magic spells for cleaning up messess. Only we were waiting to be asked.

[rathercommon]

That is very rude to ask.

[rathercommon]

[ She doesn't know how to respond to that, really. Finally: ]

Do you like this work?

[maidit]

[ That's an absolutely absurd question to ask anyone. ]

I take pride in the work that I do.

[degenere]

Nᴀᴍᴇ: Vᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴇ Nɪᴄᴀsɪᴜs Mᴀxᴇɴᴄᴇ Mᴇ́ʀᴏᴠᴇ́ᴇ Oʟɪᴠɪᴇʀ ᴅᴇ Fᴏɴᴄᴇ́
Exᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ Hᴀᴢᴀʀᴅs: ᴏɪʟ, ɢʀᴇᴀsᴇ, ɪɴᴋ, ᴘᴏᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴀʟ ғᴏʀ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ (ɴᴏᴛ ᴏᴡɴ), ᴡɪɴᴇ
Kɴᴏᴡɴ Iʀʀɪᴛᴀɴᴛs: ɪɴsᴜғғɪᴄɪᴇɴᴛ ᴄɪᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ɪɴ ʙᴏᴅɪᴇs ᴏғ ᴡᴏʀᴋ

[and like you didn't ask but--]

Aᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ Nᴏᴛᴇs: Tʜᴇ Bᴀʀᴏɴᴇss Hᴀᴜᴛ-Bʀɪᴏɴ ɪs ᴀʟsᴏ ᴀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ I ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ sʜᴇ ʜᴀs ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʟᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴀᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀs ɪs ʀᴇᴏ̨ᴜɪʀᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ sʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀsʜɪɴɢ, sʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇғᴇʀs sᴏᴀᴘs ᴏғ ɴᴇᴜᴛʀᴀʟ sᴄᴇɴᴛs.

I ᴀᴍ ɢʟᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ᴀɴ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴛᴏᴘɪᴄ!

[maidit]

[ mixed feelings about someone finally taking this seriously and that person being clearly Orlesian. ]

Thank you, Monsieur, that is all very helpful information. Is there any scents you would prefer or avoid?

[degenere]

Oʜ ɴᴏ! I ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ sᴏ ғᴜssʏ ᴀs ᴏᴛʜᴇʀs. Tʜᴏᴜɢʜ I ᴅᴏ ғᴀᴠᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴄᴇɴᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴜsᴋ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɪʟ ᴏғ ᴄʟᴏᴠᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴄᴇɴᴛ ᴏғ ᴡᴏᴏᴅʀᴜғғ ɪғ I ᴀʙsᴏʟᴜᴛᴇʟʏ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ. Mᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ. I ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴏᴘᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴏ̨ᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀᴡʜᴇʟᴍɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀғᴜᴍᴇ, ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɢʀᴇᴇ?

[maidit]

I'm sure the matter is down to personal preference, Monsieur. I will be sure to make a note of yours.

[degenere]

I ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ sᴏ ғᴜssʏ, ᴀs I sᴀʏ. Bᴜᴛ I ᴅᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴘʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs. Hᴏᴡ ʟᴀʀɢᴇ ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴇᴅɢᴇʀ?

[maidit]

[oh dear...]

Not terribly long, I'm afraid, so I must ask that you list them as they pertain to the laundry.

[degenere]

I ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪsᴛ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ. Iᴛ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ!

[So kind! So accommodating!]

[maidit]

[ Too late to pretend she can't read. ]

That's very kind of you, I look forward to reading it.

[sarcophage]

[Every instance of ect. is crossed out and replaced with etc.

This and other trifling corrections will plague everyone until Leander is no longer bedridden.]

[maidit]

[ Clearly a book with enchanted spell check, mild offense overridden by delight at convenience and clever spell work. ]