diplomacy, gird your loins.

[bouchonne]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Byerly and Eshal.
RECIPIENT: All y'all
NOTES: Blue is Byerly, red is Eshal.

Bonsoir, Riftwatch. I have some dreadful news for you all.

[ Byerly’s voice sounds a bit dry. And characteristically dramatic. ]

My dear comrade and equal, would you like to tell them?

It's not dreadful, get over yourself. Anyway, Diplomacy has two heads, because we're better than the lot of them. Right?

Oh, yes. It’s widely acknowledged as a show of faith to appoint two people to do the job normally done by one. A task given only to truly quality prospects.

Exactly.

[ A sigh. ]

My esteemed self and this esteemed lady have been appointed joint heads of Diplomacy. She, being a decent and righteous soul, has volunteered to hear any and all complaints that might be made about this decision.

Yep. Love to meet the rest of you, honestly. Come by the head office, any time. I'll supply the whiskey.

[ Byerly lifts an eyebrow at her; he’d expected a protest to him volunteering her for that thankless duty. But, well, if she’s willing to be the goat here, let her be the goat. A shrug. That’s it. Meet your new overseers. ]

Comments

[saam]

[Fake-whispered:] I don't it means what he thinks it means.

[katabasis]

You've quite the challenge before you.

[saam]

What, teaching him words?

[She laughs.]

If it wasn't a challenge, wouldn't be worth it.

[katabasis]

[Don't say things like that; he'll remember she's clever and that's presently inconvenient as it interferes with equating this whole charade with being hit in the head with a fucking rock.]

It will be worth it if you're able to keep him busy enough that he can't find the time to read us all the news.

[saam]

You think he's that worthless? Honest opinion, now.

[katabasis]

[Sullenly. Being beaten with that aforementioned rock:]

If I were to speak honestly on Byerly Rutyer in public, we could lay off the ferryman and float across the harbor on his inflated ego.

[saam]

So whisper it in my ear all quiet, Kaaras.

[katabasis]

[He laughs. It's a sharp, somewhat cutting and unpleasant sound.]

[saam]

[A loud smooch in answer.]

[katabasis]

[Which is, understandably, an end to the conversation.

For some hours anyway. Later: a knock on the division office's door.]

[saam]

[And there's Eshal, as advertised, with whiskey. She's pawing through a book she can't read, but no one needs to know that.]

It's not locked!

[katabasis]

[The door is summarily opened then closed after him. He's brought his own cup - some stoneware mug with a ragged chip in the rim.]

Have you decided how you're splitting the rooms yet?

[saam]

[She holds up the whiskey when she sees him, her smile brightening.]

Eh. He probably cares about that shit. I don't.

[katabasis]

[I'll bet he does, says the soft noise he makes. He crosses the room slowly, studying its interior before he sets the cup down on the table between them. Much of the furniture Enchanter Amsel had kept seems to have been Riftwatch property. But the bare walls, the traces of dust, and the stale sense of the air all speak to her long absence.]

I don't think I said it earlier. Congratulations.

[saam]

[Eshal cocks her head, smiles, and pours him a drink.] Thank you. Looking forward to working with you.

[She doesn't even say it lasciviously.]

Now. Tell me why everybody hates the fuck out of Byerly Rutyer.

[Manners!]

[katabasis]

Have you spoken to him?

[This, asked over the edge of the cup before. He takes a drink.]

The man has a surgical skill for getting beneath the skin when for half of Riftwatch it might be easily achieved by a child armed with a butter knife.

[saam]

Yeah. I mean, he spent most of the bloody conversation trying to find a way to piss me off, but I figured that was either just me, or... y'know, everybody in this place wasn't so vashedan sensitive.

[An expansive shrug, and then a bit of laughter-]

Guess he doesn't know enough about the Qun for the right words to say. Nice go with the 'oh, she likely hates Vints' bit, and there you are, my fuckin' favorite.

[But he meant Seheron. They both know he meant Seheron.]

[She doesn't want to talk about Seheron.]

[katabasis]

[That's a shame.]

You don't? Hate them. --Present company being excluded, naturally.

[saam]

Not on sight. I learned pretty good that the poor fuckers who end up seeing the fighting aren't the ones to hate, no matter what side you're on.

[katabasis]

[A small, humming sound. He takes another sip of whiskey.]

You fought on Seheron, I take it.

[saam]

Lasted a year before I faked my fucking death.

[A shrug. More whiskey.]

You?

[katabasis]

[It's a long time.]

The Nocen Sea. Since I was a boy.

[saam]

[She clicks her teeth. Nothing you can really say to that. Ship battles are hard-- he knows that. Qunari dreadnoughts are tough-- he knows that.]

Kaaras means navigator. Captain, too. Path-finder, way-steerer. Sounds all poetic, but every word in Qunlat has eight meanings at least.

[She refills his glass.]

[katabasis]

I imagine that makes asking for anything challenging.

[Maybe that's the point.]

How long have you been dead for?

[saam]

Imagine asking questions.

[Wink. Sip. Repeat.]

Almost four years, now.