crystal.

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone around the Gallows
WHAT: A survey
WHEN: Nowish
NOTES: This is only partly my fault

[ Let it be said that Alistair has backed down from all manner of challenges and dares and weird games of chicken, if they were stupid and he wasn't in the mood, but also let it be said that he hasn't backed down from this specific one. ]

I know we're all very busy preventing the world from ending, but if I could have a moment of your time for some important questions—

First, I need to know what sorts of things you consider good-looking, in a man, generally speaking. It doesn't matter if you're attracted to men or not, before anyone feels the need to explain their love lives to me. I only need to know what sort of man-faces you think are pleasant.

And then I need to know if you think Byerly Rutyer is good looking enough to make up for not being a nice man.

And he'd also like to know how much money each of you have. I think that's important for you to know before you answer the nice man part.

Comments

[bouchonne]

Tears do not come only from grief.

[byblow]

The Warden-Commander had to invoke the Right of Conscription because the Grand Cleric wouldn’t stop clinging to my legs and begging me to stay.

[bouchonne]

Kicked her right in the face, I imagine.

[byblow]

I’d nev— [ but he stops, and turns a little daydreamy ] Oh, that would have been nice. If she hadn’t been a frail old woman.

[shri]

Wonderful, I have business that way.

[ Alister you are a good boy spare yourself. ]

[bouchonne]

Oooh. Is that a glimmer of affection I hear in there?

[heirring]

[A bright laugh, then a stern clearing of her throat so she might adopt some good humored faux seriousness:]

Then it must be added to the long list of terrible things happening on account of the war. And maybe the next time the Inquisition is in a position to bargain with someone, it can trade some aid or support in exchange for the services of some grim heavy handed old maid to mind Mr Rutyer until the Wardens have the time.

[heirring]

There's nothing at all wrong with observing the world as it happens around you.

[No.1 gossip fan, Wysteria Poppell.]

[swordproof]

Of course not. Observation is - acceptable.

[chainlightning]

I'm very confused, Alistair.

[chainlightning]

You're not actually telling me who you are, you know.

[bouchonne]

That's because I'm sure you already know.

[chainlightning]

But I don't.

[heirring]

Some might say it's the only way to properly learn a thing.

[swordproof]

Not necessarily. Practice is important.

[heirring]

[Hey, now look who's out of her depth.]

Well. Yes. There's that too. Practice is of course an important part of developing any skill.

[swordproof]

[ Now she feels awkward. ]

I imagine you must observe before you can practice. I did.

[heirring]

[Thank the spirits, here at least is an escape route from the hideously clumsy turn this has taken.]

Oh so then you're matched already and all my good advice is entirely wasted. You must tell me everything about your companion, dear lady.

[swordproof]

Matched? No, I’m - not. I’m not.

[heirring]

[A small, bewildered sound. A long pause like a question mark. But hadn't she just said--?

Eventually:]

I think we've lost each other somewhere.

[faithlikeaseed]

[a little tiredly,] Are you going to parade him around for those of us who haven't seen him yet to judge?

[doneisdone]

I beg to differ. In fact, it's something of a deciding factor.

[swordproof]

I was speaking of observation before training. For a weapon.

[rowancrowned]

Do you have an outstanding tab?

[heirring]

Oh. Yes. Of course. Forgive me, I thought we were still on the subject of-- Well it isn't important. [Let's not speak of romance and the matter of practice. There are far more interesting topics at hand. Namely:] Tell me then, what weapon do you use? And really, you must say whether it's your profession or past time. I have a great admiration of women here who 'make their way by the sword'. Or bow. Or whatever you like.

[Lady knights are far more romantic than the topic of courting and marriage.]