therookery

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Salvio Pizzicagnolo
RECIPIENT: everyone, anyone
WHAT: In response to your complaints, we will address some complaints.
WHEN: right now!
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: new complaints can always be directed to the complaint box

This is-- Hello. Um, I'm-- Salvio Pizzicagnolo, for Base Operations here in Kirkwall, with the Inquisition. And if you are not aware, we process--we respond, that is, respond to--complaints, with the goal to, [in the voice of someone reading off of a piece of paper as he is currently reading off of a piece of paper] efficiently improve the quality of the working environment in order to optimize the Inquisition's efforts.

Which I will do. In a moment. But, first, I must ask--please, please do not use the complaint box to submit false complaints. Please especially do not use the complaint box to submit false complaints in the name of fellow members of the Inquisition. Submission of false complaints in the name of fellow members violates the spirit of the complaint box, and it is nearly slander or--libel, I don't know which would be... I mean, don't. Please.

Anyways. Um, this first complaint was submitted anonymously. And, uh, rendered, that is, read, here, to the best of my--our--understanding. Uh-- "There's too many tall elves and short elves and sort of middle elves", and the recommended response is-- well, non actionable. We cannot reasonably restrict any single class, race, or type from participating in the Inquisition. And the Inquisition is grateful for all who would volunteer in service of our work.

Similarly, this complaint here, ah-- "Can't there be separate accommodation for the rifters? They're so disconcerting, looming and crawling about all over the place. You can barely walk through the Gallows without being accosted by them."

We cannot reasonably--I mean, certainly if you have, genuinely, been accosted, that is something to-- But the Gallows is where the Inquisition is based. It is the opinion of this office that giving quarter to the rifters is part of the mission of the Inquisition. In a way. The Inquisition is perhaps among those best equipped to understand just what-- I mean, we cannot truly understand, any, of-- We work with rifters. Is what I mean. But of course we could petition for additional quarter for all of our members, should our number require it. Only the, uh. Kirkwall's Seneschal is a bit-- I mean, the Gallows will sustain our number for quite some time. Unless we should see a vast influx, all of a sudden, which would be-- I mean, welcome, but.

[Maker's breath.]

Um, and lastly. There is a complaint, from an anonymous source, that. Well, I will read it. "Bad moral, ugly uniforms, cold nights." To this--well, there is no single mandated uniform--I mean, the Inquisition might provide standard clothing to those who need it, but you are welcome to wear your own clothing. Everyone is. If they prefer. The weather is somewhat beyond our control, in Base Operations, but we might-- if you find a need for additional blankets, there is a requisition form available in our office. And, um. For morale--ah. Would there be interest in some sort of--event, to raise morale? We are limited in our funding for such simple pleasures, of course--the work of the Inquisition is of great importance and we cannot-- I mean, we could submit a request. Of course. If there truly is an interest.

Ah, though--related to the recommended response, does anyone know what a "titee win--" [titee windo, as he begins to say it, Salvio starts realizing what he's saying, and stops. Oh.] Um. Never, never mind.

That will be-- that's uh, all. For now. Please remember not to submit false complaints, and uh. If you have any amendable suggestion or solution to the issues that were raised here, please of course inform us.

Thank you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Well, this is all just so very welcoming, isn't it? He's so glad they're here to serve at the Inquisition's pleasure. ]

Tell the people who don't want rifters around that we'd all very happily return to our lives if they'd be kind enough to show us the way.

Also, the elf thing? So offensive that I don't know where to start. Tall short and middle, compared to what exactly?

To-- well, perhaps compared to the one who made the complaint?

[There's some shuffling of papers as he picks out the original and turns it over, looking for any additional details.]

They were unspecific. Um, and-- I mean, as I have said. The Inquisition as a whole does not share the expressed thought. The Inquisition values anyone who contributes to our effort, and-- is grateful.

Yes, and they'll give all of my concerns due consideration, I suppose.

[ Aro hates bureaucracy. It's impersonal and politically motivated and he doesn't trust it at all. ]

Look, I'm sure the Inquisition really wants to keep everyone happy. That's in their interests, but the best will in the world won't get rid of prejudice. If they really want us all to get along better, they should take action to bring the communities together. What are they doing, aside from making you listen to petty complaints?

It--

[Salvio first takes a cautious pause as he tries to navigate the perilous waters of structuring a well-formed diplomatic reply.]

It is the belief of this office that-- I mean, first we must become aware of a complaint, grievance, or issue. That is part of the purpose of the complaint box itself. So that a solution might be proposed, or an opinion clarified, or-- I mean, now that we are aware of an issue, we might begin to take steps to, ah, address it.

And part of the purpose of the public recitation of the complaint is-- to seek equitable and actionable solutions. So, if anyone has a thought as to how we might, uh--we of course being the Inquisition--how the Inquisition might take steps to correct or otherwise bridge this gap, then-- they will be considered.

[ Politely: ]

So they're doing nothing, in other words.

[ That seems like the long and short of it. Aro isn't very surprised, but he thinks it's worth making the point. ]

All right, then. I have a thought as to what steps might be taken. It's all very well to listen to complaints. It's a good thing, don't get me wrong; listening to people, and trying to address the issues they raise – those are good things, useful things. But they're reactive things, you see? That's someone telling you there's a problem, and you trying to put out the fire, as it were.

It would be better, though, if you could reach out to people before the fire started. What about encouraging people from different communities to meet together, in a safe place where they can learn more about what they have in common? You could teach them something, like sports or skills, something to get their interest, and then once they're there, they can get used to being together and learn more about each other. Put some time and money into that, and maybe there'll be fewer complaints in the first place.

[More horrified than angry:] No--! I mean, they're not-- We, the Inquisition--there is only so much that can be, that can--

[Ahhhhhh but okay, okay. He's moving on to thoughts. Thoughts are good, and actionable; thoughts can be taken into consideration. Quickly the shuffling sound of paperwork being moved about takes over as background noise, followed by the low sound of a quill scratching against parchment. Notes are even better than thoughts.]

Yes, I have heard-- 'town meeting' was the, um. Suggestion. I believe that was the phrasing. But this would be a sort of, uh, abomination... [no that's the wrong word] Uh, hybrid, I mean. It would be the two ideas together. The town meeting, that is, and the, possible, event, to raise morale. The funding might be difficult to come by. The Inquisition is quite-- the budget is, um. A little tight. But we might be able to requisition some items that would--

[wait hang on]

Sports of, what sort

[ Mildly. ]

Oh, so they wouldn't want to pay for it. How surprising.

[ He does not sound surprised. ]

Any sort of sports, honestly. If you want to know what's popular here, you're asking the wrong person. There's a Tourney planned, though, isn't there? Those generally involve sports and games. Perhaps they might derive some inspiration from that. It's probably where I'd start, anyway.

No, it is that-- Funds could be made available, or--items, requisitioned. As I have said. Er, that is to say that--that the Inquisition has many demands upon the treasury, and their--our efforts, they are focused mainly on the work. And not the, uh. Not morale. That is the nature of the organization.

Um. But--yes. The Tourney. Of course, the funding for the Grand Tourney is quite--quite out of range of our budget for such, things. But we might consider something on a smaller, smaller scale.

[Much smaller.]

It is a good suggestion. Uh, and I-- Thank you.

[ This poor man. Aro should perhaps stop giving him quite such a hard time. ]

A smaller scale would be a better start than none.

[ Like that.

But then also: ]

I do think it's important for the Inquisition to care about attitudes like this. It's not solely a matter of morale, you know, but a matter of fair treatment. It's in the Inquisition's interests for the people who work for it, and the people they serve, to get along, and not distrust each other. It's important for everyone, really.

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