therookery | Crystal

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Kain
RECIPIENT: Everyone!
WHAT: Late night musings about troubling information
WHEN: Now-ish
WHERE: Wherever the griffons are at the moment (but the post is open to anyone anywhere of course!)
NOTES: Brooding warning always applies

It's a late hour, but... indulge me with your thoughts, if you will. [He can't sleep, which is a frequent occurrence. Thanks, Warden nightmares. Though this time, he's trying a different tactic than usual to beat the insomnia. Talking to the Crystal almost seems like a good idea, so why not?]

Is it worth believing in fate? Is life set in stone, a scripted play by the Maker that we're all simply acting in... or is it more open-ended than that? Could it be possible that even seemingly insignificant actions really can change what's to come? That even just one decision could drastically alter everything else in your life? I've... been wondering about this lately. What might my life had been if I'd become a Templar instead of a Warden, for instance? If my ancestors had settled in Ferelden instead of Orlais? So many possible ways in which it all might have turned out differently...

[The letters that Ser Coupe had delivered are really getting to him. He's spent hours pouring over them, analyzing everything from the words themselves to details such as the way the writing looks, or the paper it's written on. He's spent a lot of time just trying to read things that were scribbled out. The indirect warning from his future self was chilling, and... he thinks there may be a chance to alter it. Maybe. Maybe not. He's still thinking it over, wondering about the action that he could take next.]

If you had a chance to go back and change something about your life, would you?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If Varric ever wanders his way back to join the Inquisition, I'm going to suggest he nickname you Cheerful or Sunny. Get some sleep. Sometimes things look better in the morning.

I mean, not dogs, they're still slobbery and leaving muddy footprints everywhere. But other things.

[A pause, and then:]

Life isn't set in stone or scripted. The Maker doesn't care enough for that. We're living our own lives, making our own mistakes, and have to take responsibility for them. There's no changing the past, only the future.

What if I happen to enjoy being awake? Or at least, I find it a better alternative to sleeping, sometimes... it's a nice change of pace.

[~~Just tell the healer you're having trouble sleeping, Kain. :|~~]

Anyway, I hope you're right, that the future really is malleable. [If not, then no matter what he does, he'll be dead within a year from something more horrific than he wants to imagine. Please, please let it be that he can change this.] It's true, though, the Maker isn't one to interfere at all, right? So anything that happens... is in my hands now. I only hope I don't mess things up irreparably. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.

There's no better alternative to sleep when it comes to resting one's body.

[Lines like that don't work on healers, Kain.]

It especially helps when one's mood is... low, or one has a habit of a low mood. Especially before someone does something that they're doubtful about. What are you contemplating, Kain? I sincerely doubt you're thinking about doing something that I'd not be able to fathom.

What if someone... can't sleep? I'm not saying it's my situation, but what if they have... uh, difficulties preventing it?

[But really, what Anders says definitely sounds like one of those things healers tend to say. It seems he's caught onto him.]

I wouldn't say it's a habit, exactly. Not really. [Except that it is, by anyone else's definition. Brooding around is a standard Kain thing, most days.] I'm... [He trails off. Sighs.] The reason behind it all is a very long story. I was warned about something terrible that could happen. That very likely will happen. [There, now, he can tell this without sounding too crazy. He's still sometimes unsure what he believes, himself, though Wren seems reliable.] I may have a chance to change that fate, but I'm worried it'll all be in vain. That it'll just happen anyway, despite my trying to make things turn out differently.

I do not have the mental energy for riddles or babysitting, Kain. Not in Kirkwall.

You've an issue and this is private. Please speak clearly. I've been at a point where it felt like anything that could happen was entirely in my hands, that no one would else step up, only able to hope that I could help more than I hurt, and that's why I've taken this private in the first place.

I don't ask you to- no one here needs babysitting, I assure you. [Except, ugh, admitting to things is hard.] My sleep is often troubled, and it's been slightly ['Slight', yeah, right...] worse lately... but I'm sure it'll run its course.

It's not an easy matter to discuss, forgive me. Someone came to me with a warning. It was... a warning about awful things yet to happen. They even came bearing proof, or I wouldn't entirely be able to believe it. I'm still not certain what to think. But if it's true... I don't have much time left to fix what may happen.

By babysitting I mean chase after people who aren't taking care of themselves. I'm not going to pry it out of someone because there's too much going on for me to do so. You say it's fine, then fine. On your own head be it if it isn't.

[Maybe that will be enough of a warning. All he can really do is hope it is, because he's telling the truth.]

I'm asking if preventing it requires something drastic.

I appreciate that. I promise, I'm taking care as much as possible. It doesn't seem to be anything serious, and I feel fine aside from this. Mostly fine. I guess.

[He just assumes it's totally normal to go through this sort of thing once in a while.]

Well... No. I don't think it will require any drastic measures. I'm not about to do something foolish or dangerous, if that's what concerns you. I'm still figuring out what must be done, truly. I think I know, but... it's not something that comes easily to me. [And it feels foolish and dangerous despite being neither of those things.]

That was the concern, yes. Your wording was very open and could have been dire, so I thought it important to check. But if there's nothing specific you'd like to voice, then I'm going to bid you a good night and get some sleep.

I apologize if it seemed more dire than it was. It's... It has the potential to become dire, but I don't believe that it'll take anything on that level to stop it. Actually, stopping it may be simpler, even if... incredibly difficult as well.

I don't know if sleep will happen tonight, but I'll try.

Crystal

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