collection of vital intelligence

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: IMPORTANT
WHEN: Now, whenever, time is an illusion
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Threadjacking strongly encouraged.

Urrrgent question: what's the most charming way you've ever been flirted with? And the least charming. Or the most and least charming ways you've ever flirted with someone else.

I know how this sounds, but I really am asking for a friend.

—if you know any good puns, share those, too.

That's all. Thank you.

Comments

[thecookery]

[If only she had approached the situation with more aplum.]

Me? Oh, I've endurance enough. You come do my job sometime, see if you last a day.

[ichaer]

And would you come and do my job then? Assuming you don't tire out just putting the chain mail on.

[thecookery]

Please. I can put on a bit of armor and throw a sword around.

[ichaer]

Uh-huh. You can't hold it against me when I start laughing once you fall over.

[thecookery]

Oi, don't start your mouthing off if you aren't ready to get it back. I didn't even say I'd be any good at it. Just that I can do it.

I've lifted sacks of potatoes heavier than you and had shifts on my feet longer than some of those soldiers down there have been alive.

[ichaer]

That's like saying because I've worn armor heavier than you or swung swords almost taller than me and managed chopped a hurlock's head off, which was bloody brilliant, means I can survive in a kitchen for a full day. I damn well know that isn't true because I'd likely burn it down on accident.

Like I said, you were good in that fight and I mean it but there's a lot to 'throwing' a sword around to keep in mind if you don't want to cut your hand off. Just like there's a lot to doing your job that doesn't end in poisoning everyone.

[thecookery]

Alright. Not trying to say I can cut down one of those fancy Orlesian dueling blokes.

Just saying... carrying a lot, not chopping off my own fingers, and staying on my feet while sweating my arse off for hours at a time are just about the only things I ever learned how to do.

[ichaer]

[ A scoff. ] Don't put yourself down. Most of them have shitty footwork and spent too much time preening to be even halfway decent duelists.

I didn't have much of a choice aside from learning how to fight myself after I left Denerim. When I became a Warden... it sort of just sealed the deal though I'd avoid going down that road.

[thecookery]

[There's a joke she could be making about whether that road is a deep one. Instead she just gives quiet grunt of acknowledgement, then falls silent for a little while.]

My mum's husband taught me to throw a punch proper. And how to not when I shouldn't. Pretty sure both have saved my life a few times over.