open | sending crystal

[extramural]

FORM: Sending Crystal
SENDER: The Outsider
RECIPIENT: Open!
WHAT: A morbid question.
WHEN: mid-month
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Talk of death, horrifying things, the Outsider being himself.

Tell me. What would you consider a fate worse than death?

Comments

[extramural]

[ Ah. He lowers his own voice to match, quiet and almost gentle. ]

Are you afraid now? In pain now?

[leadseasy]

Well, I'm afraid of a lot of things. And I do have a shard in my hand.

Not right now, though. My hand feels all right and I'm in a safe place. Safer. Nowhere's really safe.

[extramural]

I think that being willing to help the Inquisition, despite the fact that you're afraid, is very brave of you.

[leadseasy]

Oh. [It's soft, and you can practically hear her blushing and stumbling on the other end of the line, though it takes a moment for her to say anything else.]

Well it's...I'm not brave. I just...only they can help with the shards. That's all.

[extramural]

But you came. And not only did you come, but you have not just stayed here, using resources and having your pain eased. You have gone on missions. You have been brave.

[leadseasy]

I...well...

[It's hard for her to accept, harder than most things she's told. Fortunately, the poorer parts of her self-image aren't something she's invested in maintaining, so after a moment's pause, she sounds a little steadier.]

I guess you're right, yes. I have been brave.

[extramural]

[ who's a good vashoth IT'S YOU ]

You have been. And I believe you will continue to do so.

[leadseasy]

[8D do good vashoths get treats????]

I...I can try. I don't want to disappoint anyone. Or be a burden.

[extramural]

[ they DO :D ]

You cannot please everyone at all times -- I rarely please even one person most of the time. Do the best you can, and feel pleased with that, while knowing you can improve.

[leadseasy]

Sometimes my best isn't good enough. That doesn't happen as often as it used to, but sometimes. Or I do what I think is my best but I could have done better if I was smarter.