Accidentally Public

[mythalenaste]

FORM: Sending Crystal
SENDER: Pel
RECIPIENT: EVERYONE (accidentally; intended for Varric)
WHAT: Varric hired Pel to give him opinions on his new chapters. She delivers.
WHEN: The day after the funeral
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Spoilers for the next chapter of Swords and Shields

Varric, this is really silly.

First off, the knight-captain can't just escape this complex web you've spun because something even more sinister killed everyone else.

Second, she can't be pregnant. Her lover is a woman. And don't say it's blood magic. You only get to use the blood magic excuse once a serial.

Maybe you should keep writing the next Hard in Hightown?

Comments

[hugeinorlais]

[Varric had, quite literally, the archdemon of all hangovers, so it took him a moment to identify the voice speaking to him. He rubbed at his eyes and, there was a very long pause before he responded. Unfortunately, in his state, he basically Replied to All rather than just his new editor.]

But if I don't kill of everyone else, then the reconciliation scene seems hollow. Also I never said blood magic. It's not always blood magic.

[He paused and sighed.]

Alright, I'll think of something that isn't blood magic.

[mythalenaste]

It's too easy if everyone's just dead and she's free. Make her fight her way out or something. All she needs is a way out--oh, I know. She's sick in the cell because of the baby. They make her wade in it for a few days then the guards start complaining of the stink, so they take her out to clean everything up and she realizes it's her chance. Weak and ill, she takes one of their swords and slaughters her way out of the dungeon, then spends days crawling through the forest escaping capture.

...Maybe make the guard slip in the sick and hit his head. He's a bastard.

[hugeinorlais]

Pregnant women left to sit in vomit and then clawing through the forest covered in blood?

[Varric is silent for a stretch.]

I'll definitely give you points for enthusiasm, but no, that's a little bit too dark for a romance serial.

How about...oh, I don't know? She feigns illness, one of the guards checks on her, and she knocks him out and sneaks out the back?

Or blood mages.

[mythalenaste]

Feigning illness never works.

Her lady love rescues her? A brave act, from someone who's no warrior.

[hugeinorlais]

[It's not a bad idea...and, despite his terrible hangover, he manages to sound appreciative.]

She would probably die in the attempt, you know.


...I'd have to change the ending around completely, might even have to do another book after it.

[mythalenaste]

You're concerned about realism now? You had her impregnate her female lover.

You'd have had to write a new book about this new, worse threat with the old ending anyway.