Crystal

[sprent]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Gela, in the early evening
RECIPIENT: Youse guys
NOTES: Do go on ☺️

(Cheerfully, in a bright voice that is Nevarran eventually, after one parses through the vocal funk,) Hello!

My name's Gela Baynrac and I'm a bit new. I've spent round about a month here now- I think, haven't been countin'- but I belong to your wonderful Diplomacy division, and I've got a favour to ask of you all.

Any gossip about? Maybe what you're lookin' forward to in the next month, or anythin' curious overheard while visitin' our neighbours– that kind of thing. It's part of our job to keep records, and mine, as you can imagine, are sparse. So if you've heard anythin' especially delicious lately, I'd love to know about it too.

Naturally, the office is always open for reports if you don't wish to speak aloud! Go well.

Comments

[bouchonne]

Did you hear about Gwenaëlle Baudin's new boat? Dreadful pile.

[sprent]

No. What makes a boat dreadful, exactly?

[bouchonne]

An excess of decoration. A complete lack of elegance.

[sprent]

But the function of a boat is to sail, so why is it bein' judged on the decoration?

[bouchonne]

The function of a person is to consume food and turn it into waste, and to stagger about in the meantime. Yet we're judged on our decoration.

[exsecutus]

Sounds like you're trying to put Scouting out of a job. Since when is gossip Diplomacy work?

[notathreat]

If keeping up with gossip is Scouting then she can have all mine.

[exsecutus]

[Drawled, scandalized,] Are you trying to shirk your duties.

[notathreat]

Every chance I get.

[The report file upstairs says otherwise, but-]

[exsecutus]

And now it's on the record. I wouldn't want to be you when the Spymaster listens to all of this gossip.

[sprent]

(Unfazed,) Could be tryin' to put everybody out a job. Surely all of us ought to have a good grasp on what's goin' on around here.

[exsecutus]

Cross-training is a fucking death knell.

[sprent]

Dramatic, aren't you? If that's what you think a death knell is, I wish I were you.

[hornswoggle]

It would certainly be news to me that I need not concern myself with what's being gossiped about throughout Thedas.

[exsecutus]

If you feel that way, maybe you should change divisions.

[hornswoggle]

And abandon the Ambassador? Perish the thought.

Perhaps we might consider pooling the resource.

[foolsmakeitcolder]

The ravens over the Templar tower say a man in a red coat left a shiny ring in a planter at the docks.

[sprent]

Cute, but the story should be non-fiction.

[foolsmakeitcolder]

Ravens lie all the time, but not about shiny things.

[sprent]

I have to admit, I wasn't expectin' a tip off for buried treasure.

[notathreat]

The tabby at the stables just had kittens a few days ago. She's up in the hayloft.

[sprent]

(The sound of a pen on paper–) How many kittens?

[notathreat]

Six. Some of them are the- what do you call 'em, when they're orange and black and white? And there's at least one orange one in there.

[sprent]

(Hmm,) Splotchy, I think. I'd go see for myself, but cats make me sneeze.

Will they be adopted, d'you think? Or do they roam about.

[grindset]

Calico,

[is quiet.]