the amazing race.

[cozen]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Loxley & Bastien
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: NEW UNIFORMS, and a competition. Please threadjack to guess locations and/or strategize and/or tell people who think it's stupid that there is coffee on the line and they have to do it anyway.

[ In the middle of the day, around lunchtime, when as many people as possible are likely to be in the Gallows but also positioned to take a break: ]

The uniforms are here, [ is sing-song, Orlesian-accented, and probably not surprising. The uniforms would have been mentioned before. Sometime prior to this, someone would have been around collecting measurements. ] The packages are in your pigeonholes in the dining hall—but, [ dramatically, ] they are not complete.

Yes, several items have unfortunately gone missing, [ chimes in a second voice, that which belongs to Loxley, distinctly and threatrically posh, particularly in light of the drama currently being narrated. ] The pins with which each division is demarcated are mysteriously vanished to all corners of the Gallows, I'm afraid. But we're willing to award the division who happens upon them first.

The first division to find its pins, change its clothes, and assemble all of its members— all of its members who are in the city today, we are reasonable men— whichever first has all of them assembled in the dining hall in full regalia, pins and all, will win a crate of wine and five pounds of coffee, courtesy of the Diplomacy Division. Not each. To share.

Speaking of reason, perhaps we ought to give them a hint of where to look.

Reasonable and generous. D'acc. All four boxes of pins are in the Gallows, hidden in or near something that begins with the same letter as your division. If any of them are hard to guess, you will have to find the terrible villains who stole the pins and tell them so later.

They won't hang around, pointing their loaded crossbows at us all day. Chop chop.

[ OOC: The winning division will be OOCly determined by who guesses their box's hiding place correctly first in this post. If no one guesses correctly, it will be judged by which division has the highest % of participation (also in this post). If no one guesses correctly and participation is a draw, we'll RNG. ]

Comments

[earpiest]

R… roundtable, reading, riding gear, roses, ramparts, rags, rust, rack—

oh God, there isn’t a rack here, right? Like rack-rack. Like torture not… for drying dishes or boob euphemisms.

( she needs… coffee )

[charmoffensive]

Possibly a decommissioned one. I believe that us as the current tenants of this place are a slight bit more ethically motivated than those in the past.

[acreage]

I can't believe you were holding out on me.

[ either you. both you. ]

[earpiest]

I have list of different r-themed locations, and a chart of how we can utilise the team for a thorough investigation.

( she needs the coffee, Jim
for energy and also this hangover )

Someone else needs to take the kitchen, though. They don’t like me since that one time with an exploding bag of flour, but rolls and recipes are both reasons to investigate there.

[cozen]

We did not have the coffee before! Perhaps fate brought it to us because it heard your desperation and felt moved.

[molineux]

You know, [ thoughtfully, as if she hasn't been thinking about this already, ] if Diplomacy wins, I can give you my share of the coffee - which would be bigger, as our division has less people.

[bouchonne]

I can't wait for the surprise where they learn that they're hidden near something that begins with the same letter as the division...in Orlesian.

[unshut]

Oh surely that's cheating, and neither of these fine upstanding gentlemen would enable that.

[notathreat]

I've got the stables and the saddles.

[Yes, this is a morale exercise, but she does have that damnable competitive streak.]

[sparklequeen]

If you take my coffee I will never forgive you.

[earpiest]

Maybe you should try the sea. I hear that’s a great spot for pins.

private.

[positioning]

[ who is this WHATEVER S-FOCUSED ANSWER GETS THE WEALTH OF HIS KNOWLEDGE ]

Perhaps we should not be seeking these uniforms and instead be seeing where this little man keeps the coffee and wine.

[armd]

(glumly,) Fortress. Floors.

(she also has a competitive streak; scouting cannot, under any circumstances, be allowed to win.)

Food...? Dining hall, maybe?

[notathreat]

[Bitch you're on.]

[tender]

We could try the kitchens. There's a storeroom where foodstuffs are kept.

[molineux]

Dining hall starts with a d, so I'll be there myself. Would you like some company during your search since it's such a daunting undertaking?

[molineux]

Would anyone like to search the dungeons with me?

[altusimperius]

[somewhat grimly,] I know my way around them.

[sparklequeen]

I need that coffee.

[ Think, think, think! ]

Uh... fire? Fireplace? Is it in a fireplace somewhere? Or maybe it's...flag? Is it up by one of the flagpoles? Dammit...

[ She mutters the curse under her breath. ]

Foal? Do we have any young horses in the stables? OH! Fabric! The laundry room!

[armd]

Why is everything starting with F so vague. I can't think of anything– oh, first aid? Could check the infirmary.

Laundry room's on the way, right.

an extremely innocuous question

[lumelume]

What are the pins made of!

[cozen]

Surely you are not planning to take a magical shortcut, mon petit cabot.

just indulge me - PRIVATE TO RESEARCH

[earpiest]

( Listen fives, a ten is speaking )

We need the following areas covered:

Library, laboratory, mailroom- owlets, rookery, whatever the heck it’s called. Anywhere with documents: research, reading, records. Routes means maps, so if there’s a place with those check that, too.

Armoury - rogues, rapiers, rings.

Reins, riding gear - someone get to the saddlery and-or the stables. also check the horse rugs.

Ramparts, roofs, railings. Silas, or someone who isn’t going to die, Jim volunteered you for that.

Ropes, rigging, rocks - someone get on the harbour, any boats, if there’s a boat that starts with an R get on that especially.

Rack— someone check the dungeon, to be safe.

Retiree - anyone who used to be on a role and had switched to another role or isn’t working for Riftwatch at all anymore, we need their residence checked.

Speaking of rift - rift items, rift relics, rifters. Rifters of research, check your shit.

Roses, rocks, relaxation, someone get in the garden. Not me.

Recovery, rest, restoration, someone invade anything healing and medically related.

Rations, rolls, recipes - Jim is on all things food related.

Rugs, relief, rooms, right, residence, rust, if you have niche “r” associations this is the time for them, people.

Speaking of, Rutyer comma Byerly - someone should go investigate his office just because his name starts with ‘r’ and he said we’re meek, so rummaging rampages through Rutyer’s raiments would be a bonus.

And Jim is playing a fair game but the other teams think we’re not as physically capable or sneaky as them, and the Ambassador called us meek, so I think we should take their shit hostage and ruin their chances.

[voidtransport]

I can check the Felandaris office, and see if anything is tucked in with the Rift-related research.

private, to loxley;

[katabasis]

How much to betray Rutyer and divulge where they've been hidden?

[charmoffensive]

Commander!

[ Pleasantly surprised. How shady. ]

I think it a betrayal on all sides to give away the game. I'd have three divisions after my head if I did.

because it was joked about in a plurk and now I have to do it

[thereneverwas]

Not to dampen the festivities, but, erm...

who ought we speak to about the fit?

[cozen]

Ah—me, I suppose. I can bring a tailor in.

[deceivingly]

We are all being tricked by this game, and by these prizes and by all of these pretty words. At the end of it, we will all be wearing-- [puke in mouth] --uniforms.

[cozen]

They have capes.

[muckspout]

[With alarm and suspicion.]

New clothes? They're...clean?

[charmoffensive]

For now.