crystal;

[voidtransport]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Allumin
RECIPIENT: Everybody in Riftwatch
NOTES: gay panic in a couple threads (kinda spicy)

um, hello? [the voice is very soft and nervous at first.]

Pardon my anxiousness, I'm, ah, not used to this kind of communication being so... open?

I was told I'd need a staff and some guidance in order to use my own magic properly here. The general outlook on mages, however, has me doubting if devoting the time is a good idea or if I should focus my efforts elsewhere. However, if it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be in my head, and someone were interested and able in assisting me, I'd be happy to discuss fair compensation for your time.

Also, upon some recent reflection, I suppose I should offer myself up to one of the divisions of Riftwatch - not Diplomacy though, I'm not equipped for that.

Comments

[icasm]

[ Oh, but Allumin makes the most intriguing sounds when he's all flustered like this. Still. Loki wonders if some clarity would help or hinder things, and thus: ]

I am interested in you, Allumin.

[ He laughs, a subtle flash of teeth, before his hand on Allumin's chin shifts to touch his cheek. ]

I want to know what sort of sounds you make when you're overwhelmed and there's no one else there, amongst other things; but that doesn't have to be today if you'd rather wait. Think about it, and let me know.

[ Either way, they're going to get on this ferry and then make their way to Hightown and the apartment Alexandrie has granted Loki the use of. There will be drinks, and it'll be fun, even if Allumin decides he'd rather not fall into bed right away.

Loki just enjoys giving people options. ]

[voidtransport]

O-oh...

[He can't help but lean into the touch, a comfort to the absolute rollercoaster he is on right now. There is equal parts relief and a new, different excitement that comes with the affirmation, and Loki's words and the glimpse of teeth work together to conjure images of all manner of touches and noises they might inspire.

He tries to wade past the images swirling around in his head to speak, but it's hard. It feels like his throat is stuck and he can't say anything at all, but he wants to be clear that he does want to, he is also interested, just some kind of positive reciprocation... but he can't quite do it, so he does something else instead.

Allumin reaches up, fingers lightly grazing across the side of Loki's neck to become a firm grasp at the base of his skull, and pulls him into a kiss.]

[icasm]

[ There's a moment, between when Allumin touches the side of his neck and when the other man pulls him in, that Loki honestly has no idea what will happen next. He's still waiting, inaccurately, for the elf to say... something. Yes, no, I'm not ready. Are you sure?

Whatever it is, he feels prepared to receive it.

Kissing is great, though. It leaves very little room for confusion, in the moment.

It starts soft enough. He does part his lips just to nip at Allumin's bottom lip before flicking his tongue against the skin he'd just bitten. ]

[voidtransport]

[At the brief moment of teeth on his lip, he loses himself a bit and the hand at the back of his neck moves to grab a fistful of Loki's hair. Then there's his tongue, and he can't help but moan into the kiss.

He really wants to keep going but at this rate they'd probably get in trouble for indecency.

It's a struggle to get himself to pull away however, as he takes Loki's upper lip between his own for a moment, lost in finally knowing what this feels like with him. Then, he wins the fight against himself and withdraws but only just enough that their lips no longer touch.]

Hhhopefully that communicates, um, how I feel on the matter.

[icasm]

[ Loki huffs out a bit of a laugh. ]

It does, thank you. [ His hand is still on Allumin's cheek, which he gives a little pat, before taking half a step back. ] Let's get on the ferry, shall we?

[ They can kiss more there, is his plan, and at least be on their way towards their destination. ]

[voidtransport]

[He nods, gaze lingering as he processes fully what has just happened. Despite the still present flush in his cheeks and quickened beating of his heart, there is a sense of calm he feels in some manner of resolution between them on this front.]

Yes, let's.

[His legs are pretty much on autopilot at this point (head too full), following along at whatever pace Loki sets as they board the ferry.]

[icasm]

[ Loki doesn't move with any particular hurry, or at least not much more than he was already. They board the ferry and he finds them a set of seats far from the other passengers but still within view of the doors.

He lets go of Allumin's arm as they sit down, turning in his seat to give his attention fully to the other man. ]

You're not a bad kisser. [ For the record. ]

[voidtransport]

[He tucks one leg up, hugging it to his chest in a way, as he too turns to sit face-to-face. He also resists the urge to be contrary, unlike last time (which led to kissing so really, is that so bad?). His eyes take in the sight of the sun becoming low in the sky, edging towards the horizon, then move to behold another stunning sight as well.]

Thank you, I - [what does he even say to that...?] am glad you enjoyed it.

[too polite, not sexy at all. He tries not to laugh at himself for it, but a small chuckle escapes anyway.]

[icasm]

[ He could always be contrary if he so wished to be; it's not like Loki is going to withdraw his invitation or his interest. Or judge someone for being contrary of all things, gods know he's done it himself more than often enough. But for the moment, the corner of his mouth lifts in a little bit of a smile. ]

Are you always so shy?

[ His tone is not one of complaint, but of curiosity. ]

Or am I just inspiring in that way?

[voidtransport]

[His mouth opens to speak, and pauses, face already starting to redden at the implication of what he's about to say.]

I can be assertive - in certain situations... [oh gods, he is really going to elaborate, isn't he?]

But if I'm not, um, you know, in that particular frame of mind, well - not to say that you aren't also inspiring--! [Because he definitely is.]

[icasm]

[ It is really unfair how cute Allumin's constant blushing is, or how easy it seems to be to inspire it. Loki makes an amused sound, grinning, before putting his arm up on the back of the seat and resting his hand against his own head. ]

So you're a switch? [ To put a fine point on it. ] Good to know. What would you like most to get out of this scenario this evening?

[voidtransport]

[Oh noooo, the pose already made him feel bashful enough, but when he asks such a question in public (despite the fact that they have openly discussed smut literature) then Allumin can't help the urge to hide his face. Sure, they're sitting far enough away from most of the other passengers, but still!

He peers at Loki through his fingers.]

Are you really asking this here? In public? [His ears are also starting to redden.]

I - ah - [He swallows. Despite his question, he's trying to think of what to say as an answer anyway.] uhhm.. Well... I think, maybe... [He's not getting very far, eyes flicking between Loki and the other passengers.]

[icasm]

I am, in fact; mostly because you turn such a lovely shade of red. [ He shrugs. ] But, if you would rather wait until we are somewhere less public, you only need to say such.

Also... [ He leans in a bit to whisper. ] It's a lot more obvious when you keep looking at other people. You're bound to draw someone's attention to us sooner than later.

[ Is this a good time to kiss Allumin again? Because it's happening now. ]

[voidtransport]

[There's a little sound of surprise just before their lips meet, and then there's Allumin doing his best to keep quiet as he returns the kiss. The hands that had been hovering near his face to hide it drift down to rest on Loki's chest instead, desperate to wander other places but still for now.

The hardest part about kissing in public is that Allumin is a noisy lad, and has to put a lot of thought into not being such if he doesn't want catch anyone's attention. There's always a pros/cons chart in his head in these situations because on the one hand he likes making his satisfaction clear for his partner (plus if they're into noise, all the better), but on the other hand... getting into trouble... is only fun sometimes.

What does he want from tonight...? He always feels a bit greedy when it comes to choosing because there are a lot of things he wants. Assuming Loki is also a switch, he'd love to see him at the mercy of the pace Allumin chooses but also he is curious in how Loki would tease him as well... And then, of course, there's toys and things to consider...

Oops, there goes a moan right past his filter only to be partially muffled into the kiss.]

[icasm]

[ Allumin moans and Loki smirks against his lips, deepening the kiss for a bit before he pulls away just slightly, enough for them both to catch their breath and for Loki to look Allumin in the eye. At least one other passenger clears their throat, but he doesn't much care about that. ]

You haven't answered my question. [ He tilts his head in and nips at Allumin's bottom lip before straightening himself in his seat; the hand that was supporting Loki's head moves to cup Allumin's cheek. ] Or should I hold off on asking questions until we're somewhere else?

[ Is he actually going to allow Allumin to answer this time? Signs point to yes. ]

[voidtransport]

[It takes a moment for him to get his brain to think in words and not images and urges again. His lips hang parted for a moment before he leans into the hand on his cheek and hums a moment as he considers things.]

Depends on how long you'd like to be up tonight.

[It's a vague answer but it has one clear intention to convey: that he'd most enjoy playing around with a variety of options, in no small part taking into account a comment Loki had made when they'd briefly talked about smut at the tournament.]

If sleep happens to be a concern though, I can try to narrow down a couple of things.

[icasm]

[ Up go his eyebrows. Well. Allumin has ideas, clearly, and as much as Loki likes to horde secrets and thus hates being kept in the dark about anything, he can appreciate the open-ended vagueness of that statement. It keeps the ball in his side of the court, in a manner of speaking. ]

I have nowhere particular to be in the morning, [ he says easily and with a one-shouldered shrug, ] and since I no longer live next to strangers in the Gallows it doesn't particularly matter how late we're up.

[ It's one of Alexandrie's nights with Byerly, he's pretty sure; either way, it is not her evening with him, nor is the next evening, and thus the apartments will be bereft of anyone save servants. ]

You, on the other hand, have to report in to someone that you won't be there after the last ferry. [ Loki wonders if they won't be able to make some sort of game out of that task, but that, he realizes, is probably just an excuse to imagine Allumin stammering through an unnecessary explanation while Loki tries to tease him half to death with his tongue. It's a pleasant thought, really. ]

[voidtransport]

[Oh no, that's right.

All of the redness in his cheeks disappears as he goes pale. It shouldn't be a worrying thing, to just ask when the last ferry is, plan accordingly - to just ask, just ask, it's fine, just ask -

A similar thought to Loki's own comes to mind, but not quite so fun in context because he's already made a fool of himself today. He wasn't even doing anything but his stupid lungs wouldn't work and he was so embarrassed at what he was saying and he knows how it sounded and the whole thing was just awful and he doesn't want anyone to know it was him, he wishes somehow he could make the whole thing go away and now everyone probably will think he's some pervert but that's not what happened at all and that wasn't his intention, but if he has to call someone and it's after a few drinks and who knows what else then he's definitely not going to sound normal and--

just ask when the last ferry is, just ask -

The further his thoughts spiral, the more he hyperventilates. He tries to open his mouth to say something, but all of his anxieties overwhelm him and he can't get any words out. His hands tremble and he tries to stop the shaking by setting them down on his own leg and squeezing into the leather of his boot.]

[icasm]

[ Loki recognizes that something has happened, some shift in Allumin's train of thought that has resulted in... this, though whatever exactly this is, he's uncertain. It doesn't seem good, however. His hand is still at Allumin's cheek, and with all the blood draining out of the elf's face his skin feels a little clammy, so he moves his hand to rest against the side of Allumin's neck instead and finds his pulse to be racing beneath his touch.

Worrisome. ]

Tell me what's happening for you, [ he instructs firmly, but quietly, keeping his voice down so they won't be overheard. His other hand reaches for one of Allumin's and covers it, but he doesn't attempt to pry his fingers away from the leather of his boot. ]

[voidtransport]

[He needs to communicate, he knows this, and tries to but it's hard. His eyes dart around over Loki's form, searching for one thing to focus on before going still at the hand on his own. Looking at the shape of it, the lines of his veins, his graceful fingers... His breathing is still erratic but better than it was.]

W-- wh -- [hhh] wh - wh-en? - When is - the last - ferry?

H-how much - time?

[icasm]

Two in the morning, I believe. So we have, hm, six and a half hours or so, I imagine.

[ He runs his thumb along the curve of Allumin's jaw, in a slow repetitive pattern of strokes. ]

Try and breathe, [ he suggests, hoping that it doesn't sound condescending, but it seems like Allumin is not getting enough air in. ]

[voidtransport]

O-oh.... [That's enough. Some would consider it generous - he sees it as enough time to try a few different things. He nods, trying to take to heart that the suggestion is likely out of concern more than anything else. He closes his eyes to focus on Loki's touch, places his uncovered hand upon Loki's on his own to hold it.

It will be fine, he tries to convince himself, taking in deep breaths.]

Thank you. [The way it's said - soft, more air than vibration of the throat - is like hearing a ghost trying to convey intent across the Veil. He swallows, feeling a bit bad already for how disruptive his nervousness has been to the fun they were having.]

[icasm]

If you don't wish to make that call, I can do it for you, [ he offers simply, as if it is nothing to ask of him, and really it isn't; clearly the idea of asking for permission in regards to this has triggered some sort of anxiety response in Allumin, and that is not as fun as it may seem to an outsider. Anxiety tonight would only be useful, in Loki's opinion, when it is paired with an overwhelming amount of arousal. ] Or we can be mindful of the hour, and I'll see you on the last ferry myself.

It is up to you.

[ His hand on Allumin's neck gives a soft pat. Don't be worried, his body language tries to project. Nothing bad has happened here. ]

[voidtransport]

I can - call -, just, um... [His eyes wander away to look out the ferry window a moment. His face begins to regain color again, lips tightly pressed together as he considers what to say about the particular thought behind all this. Looking back at Loki, his eyes linger briefly on the other man's before moving to somewhere else, less direct but still within the vicinity of his face.]

I don't... want to make a fool of myself again.

[icasm]

You won't.

[ Can Loki promise that? He's going to try, apparently. ]

We'll keep it very simple; you're staying overnight with a friend, no need for them to call the calvary, as it were. I doubt they'll ask any further questions and you won't be in a position to have to explain.