therookery | crystal;

Entry tags:

crystal;

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Allumin
RECIPIENT: Everybody in Riftwatch
NOTES: gay panic in a couple threads (kinda spicy)

um, hello? [the voice is very soft and nervous at first.]

Pardon my anxiousness, I'm, ah, not used to this kind of communication being so... open?

I was told I'd need a staff and some guidance in order to use my own magic properly here. The general outlook on mages, however, has me doubting if devoting the time is a good idea or if I should focus my efforts elsewhere. However, if it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be in my head, and someone were interested and able in assisting me, I'd be happy to discuss fair compensation for your time.

Also, upon some recent reflection, I suppose I should offer myself up to one of the divisions of Riftwatch - not Diplomacy though, I'm not equipped for that.

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[There's a little sound of surprise just before their lips meet, and then there's Allumin doing his best to keep quiet as he returns the kiss. The hands that had been hovering near his face to hide it drift down to rest on Loki's chest instead, desperate to wander other places but still for now.

The hardest part about kissing in public is that Allumin is a noisy lad, and has to put a lot of thought into not being such if he doesn't want catch anyone's attention. There's always a pros/cons chart in his head in these situations because on the one hand he likes making his satisfaction clear for his partner (plus if they're into noise, all the better), but on the other hand... getting into trouble... is only fun sometimes.

What does he want from tonight...? He always feels a bit greedy when it comes to choosing because there are a lot of things he wants. Assuming Loki is also a switch, he'd love to see him at the mercy of the pace Allumin chooses but also he is curious in how Loki would tease him as well... And then, of course, there's toys and things to consider...

Oops, there goes a moan right past his filter only to be partially muffled into the kiss.]

[ Allumin moans and Loki smirks against his lips, deepening the kiss for a bit before he pulls away just slightly, enough for them both to catch their breath and for Loki to look Allumin in the eye. At least one other passenger clears their throat, but he doesn't much care about that. ]

You haven't answered my question. [ He tilts his head in and nips at Allumin's bottom lip before straightening himself in his seat; the hand that was supporting Loki's head moves to cup Allumin's cheek. ] Or should I hold off on asking questions until we're somewhere else?

[ Is he actually going to allow Allumin to answer this time? Signs point to yes. ]

[It takes a moment for him to get his brain to think in words and not images and urges again. His lips hang parted for a moment before he leans into the hand on his cheek and hums a moment as he considers things.]

Depends on how long you'd like to be up tonight.

[It's a vague answer but it has one clear intention to convey: that he'd most enjoy playing around with a variety of options, in no small part taking into account a comment Loki had made when they'd briefly talked about smut at the tournament.]

If sleep happens to be a concern though, I can try to narrow down a couple of things.

[ Up go his eyebrows. Well. Allumin has ideas, clearly, and as much as Loki likes to horde secrets and thus hates being kept in the dark about anything, he can appreciate the open-ended vagueness of that statement. It keeps the ball in his side of the court, in a manner of speaking. ]

I have nowhere particular to be in the morning, [ he says easily and with a one-shouldered shrug, ] and since I no longer live next to strangers in the Gallows it doesn't particularly matter how late we're up.

[ It's one of Alexandrie's nights with Byerly, he's pretty sure; either way, it is not her evening with him, nor is the next evening, and thus the apartments will be bereft of anyone save servants. ]

You, on the other hand, have to report in to someone that you won't be there after the last ferry. [ Loki wonders if they won't be able to make some sort of game out of that task, but that, he realizes, is probably just an excuse to imagine Allumin stammering through an unnecessary explanation while Loki tries to tease him half to death with his tongue. It's a pleasant thought, really. ]

[Oh no, that's right.

All of the redness in his cheeks disappears as he goes pale. It shouldn't be a worrying thing, to just ask when the last ferry is, plan accordingly - to just ask, just ask, it's fine, just ask -

A similar thought to Loki's own comes to mind, but not quite so fun in context because he's already made a fool of himself today. He wasn't even doing anything but his stupid lungs wouldn't work and he was so embarrassed at what he was saying and he knows how it sounded and the whole thing was just awful and he doesn't want anyone to know it was him, he wishes somehow he could make the whole thing go away and now everyone probably will think he's some pervert but that's not what happened at all and that wasn't his intention, but if he has to call someone and it's after a few drinks and who knows what else then he's definitely not going to sound normal and--

just ask when the last ferry is, just ask -

The further his thoughts spiral, the more he hyperventilates. He tries to open his mouth to say something, but all of his anxieties overwhelm him and he can't get any words out. His hands tremble and he tries to stop the shaking by setting them down on his own leg and squeezing into the leather of his boot.]

[ Loki recognizes that something has happened, some shift in Allumin's train of thought that has resulted in... this, though whatever exactly this is, he's uncertain. It doesn't seem good, however. His hand is still at Allumin's cheek, and with all the blood draining out of the elf's face his skin feels a little clammy, so he moves his hand to rest against the side of Allumin's neck instead and finds his pulse to be racing beneath his touch.

Worrisome. ]

Tell me what's happening for you, [ he instructs firmly, but quietly, keeping his voice down so they won't be overheard. His other hand reaches for one of Allumin's and covers it, but he doesn't attempt to pry his fingers away from the leather of his boot. ]

[He needs to communicate, he knows this, and tries to but it's hard. His eyes dart around over Loki's form, searching for one thing to focus on before going still at the hand on his own. Looking at the shape of it, the lines of his veins, his graceful fingers... His breathing is still erratic but better than it was.]

W-- wh -- [hhh] wh - wh-en? - When is - the last - ferry?

H-how much - time?

Two in the morning, I believe. So we have, hm, six and a half hours or so, I imagine.

[ He runs his thumb along the curve of Allumin's jaw, in a slow repetitive pattern of strokes. ]

Try and breathe, [ he suggests, hoping that it doesn't sound condescending, but it seems like Allumin is not getting enough air in. ]

O-oh.... [That's enough. Some would consider it generous - he sees it as enough time to try a few different things. He nods, trying to take to heart that the suggestion is likely out of concern more than anything else. He closes his eyes to focus on Loki's touch, places his uncovered hand upon Loki's on his own to hold it.

It will be fine, he tries to convince himself, taking in deep breaths.]

Thank you. [The way it's said - soft, more air than vibration of the throat - is like hearing a ghost trying to convey intent across the Veil. He swallows, feeling a bit bad already for how disruptive his nervousness has been to the fun they were having.]

If you don't wish to make that call, I can do it for you, [ he offers simply, as if it is nothing to ask of him, and really it isn't; clearly the idea of asking for permission in regards to this has triggered some sort of anxiety response in Allumin, and that is not as fun as it may seem to an outsider. Anxiety tonight would only be useful, in Loki's opinion, when it is paired with an overwhelming amount of arousal. ] Or we can be mindful of the hour, and I'll see you on the last ferry myself.

It is up to you.

[ His hand on Allumin's neck gives a soft pat. Don't be worried, his body language tries to project. Nothing bad has happened here. ]

Edited 2021-09-17 23:28 (UTC)

I can - call -, just, um... [His eyes wander away to look out the ferry window a moment. His face begins to regain color again, lips tightly pressed together as he considers what to say about the particular thought behind all this. Looking back at Loki, his eyes linger briefly on the other man's before moving to somewhere else, less direct but still within the vicinity of his face.]

I don't... want to make a fool of myself again.

You won't.

[ Can Loki promise that? He's going to try, apparently. ]

We'll keep it very simple; you're staying overnight with a friend, no need for them to call the calvary, as it were. I doubt they'll ask any further questions and you won't be in a position to have to explain.

Alright.

[It's enough to bring ease to the rational part of his mind. There's still the lingering effects, parts of his mind still abuzz with fears and the aspects of physiology beyond his control like his heart and a lingering breathlessness that he tries to appease to the best of his ability. He bites his lip in an attempt to establish another anchor beyond the touch of Loki's hands on his own and his neck, a small nod to further cement that he understands and things will be okay.]

Would you tell me something you enjoy fantasizing about? [An attempt: 1.) to learn more about Loki and what he enjoys, and 2.) to calm down more as he listens.]

Something I fantasize about... about you specifically, about myself, or just in general?

[ The man has a healthy fantasy life, honestly, a good memory, and has led a long life. So he needs slightly narrower parameters for this particular exercise.

His hand remains at the side of Allumin's neck; he doesn't particularly want to break off contact. ]

[There's a short laugh of disbelief at the first of three options, and the hand that had been resting upon Loki's goes up to cover his face. There's a little clearing of his throat as he stops himself from laughing further - it'd simply been a flustered reaction, nothing actually to laugh about.]

Do you have fantasies about me? I mean, I, um, hadn't intended to ask anything so vainly specific but - um, well, just surprised - do you? No, ahh, don't answer that - just, uh, hm, maybe something you've wanted to have done to or for you but never had the opportunity perhaps?

Never is such a strong word. [ Especially for someone whose theme song might as well be the first few lines of this song, as long as 'once upon a time' was like... five seconds ago, and also now, and also in the future. ] I do, in fact, have fantasies about you, but I think I'll save telling you about them until there are fewer clothing articles between the two of us.

As far things I haven't done in a while, hm... [ He trails off, thinking, tapping one finger against Allumin's skin. ] It's been a moment since I've had the opportunity to tie anyone up, or be tied, for that matter.

[His face begins to redden again at the prospect of whispered fantasies revolving around him in various states of undress. It reddens more at the thought of Loki's hands situating knots just right over his body, and then at the thought of himself doing the same for the other man.]

Do you... have the right kind of rope...? [Sure, you can use any kind, but you wouldn't really want to use the same kind of rope for climbing as you would for... a very different kind of climbing, with just as much "gear" but very little else.]

[ Loki brushes a finger against the line of Allumin's jaw, with a soft smile. ] I do have the right kind of rope. Softer stuff than what they use here on, say, boats, but still well acclimated to tying.

[ He's a hedonist above all else, of course he's bought rope for tying people up despite not having had a discussion about tying anyone up prior to today. ]

What else would we need, hm?

Well, I do enjoy blindfolds and knives. [Loki's smile, the touch along his jaw, the way he himself gets a bit lost in following along as he speaks means that he doesn't stop to overthink or hesitate before he speaks. Of course, he catches himself after the fact, at which point he feels like all he can do is laugh a bit.

At first the thought of someone who has tried every kink he can think of at least once had been daunting, but then there's a comfort to it in realizing that anything he suggests likely won't be considered odd at all.]

You'll come to learn that while I'm not very good at dealing with pain in a fight, I enjoy it very much under consensual circumstances. So, um, whatever you have at your disposal for that.

[ Loki brightens at the mention of knives; he can't help himself and is not, at this moment, inclined to try. ]

I always have at least one dagger on me. They are good, well-balanced, and rather sharp.

How do you feel about markings? Welts, bruises, that sort of thing?

[ The ferry is approaching the Kirkwall side of the docks as Loki speaks. ]

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