CRYSTAL | maybe you should wait.

[poleaxed]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Jone
RECIPIENT: Y'all
NOTES: Comments may be spicy.

Is anybody dreaming of getting back topside? Know I am. Blimey, a sweaty fucking pit, is Orzammar.

We've a tennis court. That's jeu de paume for the rest of you. [Her Orlesian is surprisingly not terrible.] It ought to be finished by the time we're back. I know, I know, you don't like to train in the yard, it hurts your knees or your bloody feelings. That's what the court's for. Let's play a game and get your stamina up, aye?

Noticed we've had some new folk lately, and I wanna say again: I'm Jone, the six-foot-bitch in the training yard with the red hair. I'll train you, and I'll do it right. You ain't for swords, we'll find what you're for. Free fucking service, you only have to make an effort.

Think of it this way: if you work hard enough, get strong enough, one day you'll get to break me nose.

Comments

[wythersake]

Oh, it's remarkably similar. Rackets, a grand ball —

[novokribirsk]

And you're encouraged not to hit things.

[ which makes it inferior to tennis, to be clear. ]

[wythersake]

Mademoiselle, you must not discount Ferelden in front of our guests.

[novokribirsk]

If the Ferelden court prefers violence, it'd be better than most I've seen.

[wythersake]

In what context were you acquainted?

[novokribirsk]

I am a general, and Grisha both. I grew up in my country's court, and now it's my job to keep peace with others.

[wythersake]

[ what the shit is a grisha ]

I admit to not associate a general with peace.

[novokribirsk]

You're not alone in that. But alliances serve Ravka better than war, so it's peace that's my business.

[poleaxed]

I'd prefer it casually disparaged. Otherwise, you're all just bad liars with funny accents.

[wythersake]

I should hope I am at least a middling liar.

[poleaxed]

If you pretend not to think me home's shite, you're limiting yourself.

[wythersake]

At this rate I should think you intent to keep us from Ferelden —

[ national defense plan tell everyone it's not worth it ]

[elegiaque]

You're encouraged not to get caught. The distinction is very fine. Outside of Ferelden.

[novokribirsk]

And what's so special about Ferelden?

[ since we're all dunking on it, apparently. it's not that zoya hasn't been paying attention to learning about thedas, it's just that she hasn't been here long enough to pick up much more than basics. ]

[elegiaque]

You'll pick it up.

( that is one of two options, and it counts as friendliness that gwenaëlle doesn't specify the alternative or it's also about you. )

[novokribirsk]

Hm.

[ but she doesn't sound annoyed, actually. she'd say about the same. ]

[poleaxed]

We're a backwater pit of mud-swilling dogfuckers.

Also, we've fought off Orlesian invasions twice, so some fuckers are jealous of our top quality dogshite and succession crises. Crisises. Fuck.

[novokribirsk]

[ fuck is right, really; sounds all too familiar, doesn't it. ]

Who wouldn't want to control a country that comes so highly recommended?

[poleaxed]

We have three important sea ports, our capital's where Holy Andraste were born, and Orzammar's doors are in our territory. Add all that bloody farmland, and it's good enough to stomp boots over.

But there's too much forest, and our royals hide in it and play the game on their terms whenever Orlais comes knocking. They don't know the land.

[molineux]

Are you quite proficient in it then?

[wythersake]

Famously uncoordinated, I fear.

[molineux]

Oh dear. And no chance of improvement?

[wythersake]

Ah, you know how it is. One misses a swing. Forgive me, I don't believe we've been acquainted.

[molineux]

My name is Margaery, recent rifter. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?

[wythersake]

Isaac. Ancient native, or so I am occasionally told.