CRYSTAL | maybe you should wait.

[poleaxed]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Jone
RECIPIENT: Y'all
NOTES: Comments may be spicy.

Is anybody dreaming of getting back topside? Know I am. Blimey, a sweaty fucking pit, is Orzammar.

We've a tennis court. That's jeu de paume for the rest of you. [Her Orlesian is surprisingly not terrible.] It ought to be finished by the time we're back. I know, I know, you don't like to train in the yard, it hurts your knees or your bloody feelings. That's what the court's for. Let's play a game and get your stamina up, aye?

Noticed we've had some new folk lately, and I wanna say again: I'm Jone, the six-foot-bitch in the training yard with the red hair. I'll train you, and I'll do it right. You ain't for swords, we'll find what you're for. Free fucking service, you only have to make an effort.

Think of it this way: if you work hard enough, get strong enough, one day you'll get to break me nose.

Comments

[wythersake]

Mademoiselle, you must not discount Ferelden in front of our guests.

[novokribirsk]

If the Ferelden court prefers violence, it'd be better than most I've seen.

[wythersake]

In what context were you acquainted?

[novokribirsk]

I am a general, and Grisha both. I grew up in my country's court, and now it's my job to keep peace with others.

[wythersake]

[ what the shit is a grisha ]

I admit to not associate a general with peace.

[novokribirsk]

You're not alone in that. But alliances serve Ravka better than war, so it's peace that's my business.

[poleaxed]

I'd prefer it casually disparaged. Otherwise, you're all just bad liars with funny accents.

[wythersake]

I should hope I am at least a middling liar.

[poleaxed]

If you pretend not to think me home's shite, you're limiting yourself.

[wythersake]

At this rate I should think you intent to keep us from Ferelden —

[ national defense plan tell everyone it's not worth it ]

[poleaxed]

That'd be right clever. Too bad all Fereldans have dung for brains.

[wythersake]

Do you know what Orlesians have for brains?

[poleaxed]

Bollocks. But only from the finest lions.

[wythersake]

Ah, that is why they are so hard to come by.

[poleaxed]

[That catches a bit of true laughter from her.]

Does an Orlesian with a sense of humor have something special up there too? Haven't met many.

[wythersake]

I try to breathe deeply, so as only to fill it with the finest hot air.