therookery | (no subject)

Current Location: Skyhold

Entry tags:

(no subject)

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Korrin Ataash
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Dammit, Anders.
WHEN: Slightly backdated, to after the big announcement. (Well, after she's destroyed some training dummies.)
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Knowing Korrin, language. That's probably it, though. And because I'm lazy, this can also be an action log.

[To say that Korrin's upset at the revelation is a vast understatement, and though her tone is even over the sending crystal, it's a forced calm. Anyone who knows her is likely well-aware of the depths of her fury, though there's been enough ranting over the crystal lately. So instead:]

Anyone else having the powerful urge to drink and vent, you're welcome to join me at the tavern. I'm buying. And just to be clear, I'm not challenging a damn thing. I just want a fucking drink, that's all.

[No ranting over the sending crystal, but she is claiming the venting corner, Merrick. Be prepared.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was a nightmare that could have been entirely avoided. Anders willingly allowed that spirit into him, from what I've been told. Who does that? Even the newest mage knows not to mess around with shit like that. It doesn't matter if the spirit seems pure. Combining spirit and flesh warps them both.

[She's no expert on the Fade or spirits, but that much has been very clear from the start. Kain's words get a raised eyebrow out of her.]

You spoke about mind-control before, at least when you were drunk. Is that what you're referring to, or did something even worse happen?

I cannot imagine willingly allowing anything to possess you… it… nothing is more terrifying than losing your willpower to something else…

[There’s more fear in his voice than his normal confidence, and it’s obvious he’s uncomfortable. He takes a few sips from his drink, hoping that’ll ease his mental state somewhat.]

...Yes. That’s entirely what I refer to. It… it’s horrible… having someone else in your mind, directing you, forcing you to betray your own comrades… I would rather die than experience it again. In fact, if a demon here ever compromised me, I’d hope someone would do me the favor of killing me. [It seems more of a mage thing, but he’s incredibly wary all the same. He pauses.] Same goes for being influenced by blood magic. I’ve done terrible things back home. [Even before the mind control, a bit of accidental genocide alongside his best friend, but he’d really rather not discuss that whole thing now.] Nothing was as terrible as backstabbing, kidnapping, nearly killing people… I… what Anders did… something like that could have been me.

[It’s pretty complicated to Kain, he can’t condone those sort of actions but his own past is filled with darkness.]

[Korrin nods solemnly at hearing Kain's wish, her own reflected in the glint of her hardened gaze.]

If you're corrupted by demon or blood magic and can't be saved, I'd absolutely end you. And I'd want the same. Free will is the most precious thing we have; without it, life isn't worth living. And I wouldn't want to be used to harm anyone who didn't richly deserve it.

[She sighs and rests her hand on Kain's for a moment.]

At least you regret what happened, Kain. That abomination still thinks his actions were justified. What is there to say to someone like that? You can't change what happened at home, only focus on what you're capable of now. As far as I've seen, you've given no cause to doubt you. Even that nonsense with the dragons wasn't any worse than what those in my company have done.

...Thank you.

[That's important for Kain to hear, and it's something that almost none of his friends would be willing to do back home. Only Edge, and it's the one thing he can agree with him about. He looks over at her, surprised by that gesture of her hand upon his, a small but significant thing. He's felt so alone and isolated here... yes, even someone like him.]

I do regret it... every moment of it, and if I could change what happened, I would. I know I can't. I can only continue walking the path to redemption... I'm no abomination, but there is darkness in me, a side of me which I hope never shows itself here. I'll fight it as much as I can. [He still has a long ways to go with that.] Do you think that Anders is beyond forgiveness then, at this point?

[Her lips forming a thin line, Korrin nods.]

Yes. He has no remorse about it, thinks that what he did in speaking for all mages was right. There's nothing stopping him from taking those kind of actions again. The Mage-Templar war may be paused, but I see no reason why he wouldn't resort to such tactics again.

I'm sorry to hear that. I regret all of my actions, and forever will. I cannot imagine it being otherwise. I cannot imagine having no remorse for causing such harm...

[He sighs heavily. The end can justify the means in many cases, he's always quick to believe in such a thing, but... even so... This is another world, with problems he's only still grasping the complexity of.]

Now I see why you're so livid, if it comes to war... if the Inquisition destroys itself...

...then the South is screwed. Likely the rest of Thedas, too. Corypehus could create another Breach and when that happens, nothing else will matter.

[Another angry huff and she's taking a swig to calm herself, or attempt at it. It doesn't help.]

[Kain takes the opportunity to down some more of his own drink. What he’d seen of Anders out on the field wasn’t bad, far from it. He trusts Korrin, of course, but deep inside lurk some distinctly Kain-ish morals. He doesn’t know what to think, anymore. But he can agree that more chaos and destruction is bad, that the fallout of the act seems to have been for the worse in this case.]

Then we must all work together to prevent that outcome, we must fight to ensure that doesn’t happen. We must face forward. [He gives a dry almost-chuckle.] It sounds perhaps strange, coming from me... I live so much in the past. ‘Face forward.’ I said those words to a comrade before we charged into our final battle, to our deaths. There is darkness behind us, and darkness ahead, but we can only change what’s ahead.

True enough. I just don't want people to use that rallying cry to ignore all the reasons that crap went down in the first place. The world needs to be saved, but it'd be nice if it was a place worth saving after all's said and done. We can't go back to the way things were, it's just not feasible.

[Nodding, he drinks some more.]

It’s important not to forget, of course… to learn from that past in order to move ahead. [He sighs.] If it were only as easy as simply wanting to do it… it’s never so straightforward, I’m afraid. But I’m sure you and everyone here will keep fighting for the sake of a better future. It’s all you can do...

I keep telling myself that. Sometimes, it's almost enough.

[Sighing, she takes a swig.]

Just...keep your distance from him, if you can. If you can't, be on your guard.

[A very good warning to give someone like Kain especially, given his history. The darker part of him is uncertain... but he does trust Korrin, at least. He nods, firmly.]

I'll keep that in mind. I trust your judgment on the matter, believe me, I do. [He just has a lot of personal experience and baggage that make him... wonder about things.] I hope that things will settle down in time, as well.

[Korrin relaxes slightly at that, her mood still awful but glad that at least someone is listening to her warning.]

The only way things will settle down is if they take that abomination far away from here. There's no peace to be had with him around.

[Kain will certainly listen, certainly take caution. But that could have been me. He’s never used the mind control as an excuse, on the contrary, there was darkness already in him… it was as much his own fault. If it weren’t for Cecil, the king himself forgiving him, wouldn’t he be in much the same situation back home? Sigh. Troubling thoughts.]

Even if he actively repents, one day? [Atonement is a big enough thing with Kain, but he also wants to mind Korrin’s temper too. He doesn’t want to get on the wrong side of one of the few people he’s gotten to know here.] No, forgive me, I... I know I’m not of your world. It’s not so simple as that. Though, I’m curious, why has the Inquisition even taken this stance of allowing him here? If so many wish him punished?

Because the Champion of Kirkwall passed judgment and for some fucking reason, they're taking that as iron-clad. Even though Meredith was the one to allow that in the first place and she was fucking crazy. And the Grey Wardens do have the legal right to conscript whoever they want for their order, even criminals.

[She sighs heavily, radiating disapproval.]

His repentance means jack shit while he's an abomination; as long as he has that passenger in him, he's a threat to everyone. That's not something we can just ignore.

Your world... has a great deal of madness in it. Not that I can talk, we too had our share. [He sighs. The crimes he's committed, the Grey Wardens are his kind of people, really, so he can't say he's against that part though. He's got a lot of blood on his hands, considerable guilt upon his shoulders.]

As long as he has...

So then... is there a means to free him? Or would separating them mean certain death?

[Personally, he would rather accept death, but he can't say what another would do.]

You mean 'Thedas is fucked up' and I sure as hell can't disagree with that.

[Korrin shakes her head, a frustrated sigh escaping her.]

They can only be separated upon death, which means killing Anders would be doing the spirit within a favor. It would return to the Fade, and we wouldn't have to worry about it wreaking havoc on this side.

I suppose that's the best way of putting it. And I say this as someone who came from endless cycles of war wherein I repeatedly died and lost my memories, all while being forced to endlessly fight our enemies' forces. I still don't have all of my memories back of that war.

[Yep, that's right. The Gods' War = maybe less fucked up than Thedas, isn't that great?]

How unfortunate... and I'm sure he's not about to volunteer for that method anytime soon. I would have, in such a position, long ago. [But not everyone thinks about it in the same way, he knows, not everyone is so willing to mak that level of sacrifice.] Is he truly the only spirit-possessed walking among us? Is it so uncommon?

It fucking better be. One abomination at a time is bad enough; we sure as hell don't need another.

[Grimacing at the thought, Korrin signals for a refill.]

At least you understand, but I wouldn't expect that level of selflessness from him or anyone like him. Harboring a spirit probably warps their views anyway, making it hard to tell if it's the spirit acting or them or some unholy fusion. And honestly, that's as much as I care to know. Some lines just shouldn't be crossed, that among them.

When you have something else inside your head, the lines between the both of you are always blurred. That’s one of many things that makes it such a nightmare. You cannot tell whether or not you’re yourself anymore…

[Yes, refill please. Some part of Kain still rather… feels bad for Anders, as impossible as such a thing might seem. He just. He knows what that’s like. It’s the worst fate imaginable.]

I don’t know, I certainly wouldn’t consider myself selfless… but I couldn’t exist like that, ever. [He scowls darkly at the thought. Yes, Anders is giving him mixed feelings now, on one hand he’s got a very awful similarity, on the other, well, the way spirits and demons work in this world isn’t pleasant.] I’m glad to hear that spirit possession like this doesn’t happen a whole lot. I certainly hope not.

Just remember, you didn't ask for what happened to you. He did, Maker knows why. It's a significant difference, despite the other similarities.

[Korrin can't ignore that core issue, given how demons and spirits always seek to undermine a mages' will. That Anders must have been taught about that as well and yet threw those teachings away is baffling as it is enraging.]

I hope you won't have to see it up close. An abomination on a rampage isn't a pretty sight. I've seen the aftermath and there was...nothing left.

Different reasons... right... I'll try to keep that in mind.

[That certainly does make him feel perhaps a little bit better, realizing that as similar as the situations are, there are still differences. Even though they're both traitors, have both done horrible things... it's not the same. Kain never believed in Zemus and his awful plans, even as he'd served him against his will. But what about the darkness inside, the part of him that had been brought forth from that manipulation? Sigh. Best not to keep thinking these things.]

Power like that in the wrong hands... I can imagine. It sounds as if this whole matter won't end well, and it's only a matter of time.

[Korrin nods, her expression bleak. She can't see it ending in any other way but a slaughter.]

Then you'll understand why I ask you to be vigilant. When it happens, it'll be sudden. We need to be ready to act, and act decisively. Anything else puts even more lives at risk.

[Yes it could end really badly... he's appreciating now the full extent of the whole thing, why she's so upset.]

As if I ever drop my guard. [After all, you're talking to a man who refuses to get out of his armor.] Still, a threat from within is something to be especially wary of. I'll be prepared for whatever must be done.

[He thinks he'd be doing the guy a favor by putting him down if and when it's needed. It's what he'd want.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only