crystal;

[satinet]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Cassius Black
RECIPIENT: All Y'all
NOTES: local grievances

Good Afternoon, Riftwatch. Senior Enchanter Cassius Black, at your service. I come fresh from the Office of the Viscount with a list of demands and requested reparations.

First, let me assure you all that I've done everything in my power to make all the proper excuses and naturally have firmly denied any responsibility for the more outright criminal charges. That said, should anything on the following list catch your ear then consider either modifying your behavior in the future or coming forward so we might discuss the most fruitful way to take responsibility.

[He clears his throat.]

The Kirkwall Mummer's League has lodged a formal complaint that a certain pair of mustachioed gentleman in Riftwatch's service have been performing at a number of cheap Lowtown establishments. They claim this has negatively impacted the crowds at and reception of their own performances. One specific line of the complaint included suspicions of utilizing the performances as a front for clandestine intelligence gathering.

Minor criminal charges include reports of public drunkenness, fighting, and the temporary theft of a celebrity donkey named Count William who was happily eventually returned to his hitching post with only minor damages. His owner, however, requests restitution for the hours of labor spent attempting to scrub the words 'WORLD'S BEST ASS' left in paint on the animal's side.

A member of Riftwatch broke up a would-be duel in a Lowtown public house. Both parties are now demanding that the individual come forward so they may have satisfaction. And while we are on the subject of debts of honor— [A pause to turn to the next page of his notes.]

Having heard rumor of at least one payout by a member of Riftwatch to an unnamed woman in order to quiet claims of a certain indiscreet act, there is currently a gang of bastard children roving Lowtown insisting that various male members of this company are their sires. These children are impeding local commerce and are responsible for a number of acts of hooliganism. The Burrows Street Mercantile Alliance is requesting that the children be dealt with within the fortnight or else any further property damages or disturbance to their places of work will be charged to Riftwatch or debited against our standing accounts. At least one of our major suppliers of grain is involved.

Additionally, someone has wracked up a series of gambling debts and at least a half dozen of their creditors are now seeking repayment through the minor courts. The description of the individual in question is 'average height, dark, and sullen.'

Less overtly negative but of some general concern, there has also been a series of Rifter-related complaints concerning the excessive production of noise, offensive fashion choices, and, quote, 'suspicious spice mixtures in baked goods.' Whatever that means. Rifters, please see to minding your p's and q's among the public if you would. The rest of us afflicted with anchors thank you.

And finally last but certainly not least, there has evidently been a slew of petty thefts in Hightown. These thefts have victimized either well off young men or the contents of certain private rooms of houses where lavish parties were recently hosted, and among whose guests members of Riftwatch's company were counted. While I firmly doubt we are in any way responsible for these and have said as much to the Viscount's representative, I did suggest that we might lend either a few keen eyes or a handful of heavy hands to the Kirkwall Guard to assist in hunting the thief. Please let me know if you'd like to volunteer for the work.

Comments

[highborn]

Begging your pardon, but some people in Kirkwall could stand to expand their palates.

[satinet]

Ah, the errant cook himself.

Perhaps then you might reconnoiter with our beloved Morale Officer and see to organizing some kind of Rifter cultural event in Kirkwall. Maybe then those tasteless dunces will be less likely to think they're being poisoned.

[truthtied]

That might be a good idea, actually. It could take some of the mystery of Rifters away at least.

[satinet]

Might be?

I'll have you know that all my ideas are good.

[truthtied]

I'm sure.

Will you be bringing the idea to the Morale Officer?

[satinet]

Not at all. I've believe I've done my part by making the suggestion.

[truthtied]

[ Unsurprising, but: ]

Certainly you've an interest in ensuring the event doesn't result in further complain, Senior Enchanter. As our liaison to the Viscount, your insight would be most helpful.

[satinet]

I have an interest? Mademoiselle, my work is in all of our interests. I should think every member of Riftwatch at least a little invested in seeing that we not embarrass ourselves.

No, if this is to be done then it would be better for a Rifter to take the initiative.

[truthtied]

Of course, but the work is hardly something that can be done by one soul and as the one with the established contact with the Viscount in particular, you would be an invaluable asset to this project in particular. After all, even as we seek to ease any distrust Kirkwall may have of Rifters, we must also strive to resolve any foreseeable conflicts that may arise from differing experiences.

[satinet]

The Viscount's representative. [Is a gentle, throwaway correction.]

If I knew anything about Rifter-Kirkwall relations, I would be happy to assist. But I know my limits, and humbly suggest that there are any number of people within this company who have been with Riftwatch and in Kirkwall longer than I have. I've little doubt that they have a firmer grasp on the subject.

[truthtied]

Ah, I see.

Then as the Viscount's representative, it is especially imperative we have you.

switches characters for this

[noonrodeon]

If you're the one who did up them buns at the Dancing Nug, those were a bit strange, friend.