Very Important Survey

[windyvoice]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Jenny Lou
RECIPIENT: all u crash queens and motor babies
NOTES: aaaay

Hey so. How the fuck do you learn magic here anyway? Cus like a lot of you got that teacher vibe and I think I might actually need one of those.

Also while we're at it, on a scale of 1 to 10, how hard would I get burned at the stake if a normie caught me doing magic? Hypothetically speaking.

Comments

[heirring]

[puts ear directly to this keyhole]

[exequy]

What does it mean to be burned at the stake more or less hard?

[ Kids these days. ]

[windyvoice]

If they use dry wood, you die from the burns. If they use wet wood, you die from suffocating on the smoke and it takes longer, which sucks more.

[bouchonne]

Au contraire. Suffocation goes much more quickly and is much less painful.

[windyvoice]

No shit? Suffocation freaks me the fuck out, so I always figured it was worse.

So okay, I guess burning to death kills you harder than suffocating on the smoke.

[bouchonne]

Most certainly. If you're burning without smoke, then the routes of death are bleeding out - hard enough when the flames cauterize the wounds - or I suppose sheer shock. Which wouldn't happen quickly. Dreadful stuff.

[windyvoice]

Okay, yeah, that sounds like super shitty. I'd be like the worst barbecue ever.

So is that a thing I need to worry about or what?

[exequy]

Yes.

[windyvoice]

Oh shit okay, so don't do magic in front of the normies. Gotcha.

[windyvoice]

That doesn't solve my how the fuck do I learn magic problem, though.

[inkindled]

Nah, I'm with you. I'd pick burning. Absolutely. Eventually you stop feeling and all your skin's off, but if you're suffocating then you're still trying to breathe and you can't and you know you can't. Sounds shit.

[windyvoice]

See, that was definitely my thinking right? Like both suck a lot, but not being able to breathe is like way way scarier.

[inkindled]

Yeah. I'd have suffocating over drowning, though. That one is really shit.

[windyvoice]

That's basically the same thing though. Like anything that involves not having air sounds like it just crazy sucks, right? I think hypothermia is the way to go, but I don't think an angry mob is gonna be like "Let's throw the witch in the snow for a night!"

[gentlecountry]

Y'know by some measures, dying of smokes inhalations is considered quites merciful.

Not that I expects it to come up.

[windyvoice]

Okay, but which takes longer, dying from smoke or dying from burning up. Like I'm pretty sure both suck a fucking lot, but if we're gonna make distinctions here...

[gentlecountry]

Ohhh, technicallies dyin' of smokes inhalations takes longer, but you're unconscious for pert near the whole process, don'ts feel a thing. Now I seens folk die of burns, and it is a painful way to go. Lots of screamin.

[windyvoice]

I figured there'd be a lot of screaming anyhow, what with the whole dying thing. Like I don't expect to go into this all brave and stoic, ya know?

[gentlecountry]

Don'ts expects you'll be dyin. Plenties of magic ruckuss arounds this place all ups and downs, can't be that addings one more'll trouble anyone.

Good on you for lookings for a teacher, though. Smart folks knows their limits.

[windyvoice]

I mean I'm probably gonna die, right? But like as not as it's burned to death for doin' a magic, that'd be cool.

I dunno if it's knowing my limits anyway. More like I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing. Except the shape shifting, I'm pretty okay at that.

[gentlecountry]

That's a fair point, everybody's got to go sometime.

Good lucks to ya, miss, ah... what was your name, now?

[luaithre]

Most Circles took an academic approach, producing more academics.

[ He sounds a little dry. ]

They were all each different, as well. Some emphasise suppression and control, others theology and ethics. What are you trying to learn?

As to the other question, most wouldn't try it.

[windyvoice]

I suck at academics, so that's out.

I guess control? I do pretty okay with shape shifting, but wind control gets weird. I get super tired if I try to use it a lot.

[luaithre]

That's expected. Unless you believe mages here show better stamina.

[windyvoice]

Dunno, never met a mage back home. I met a seer, but that's like way different.