I. OPEN.

[liberalum]

FORM: Sending crystal.
SENDER: Dorian Pavus and some fans.
RECIPIENT: Everyone.
WHAT: Karma.
WHEN: Guardian 18.
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: I won't actually action this one out, but we can work out by arrangement if your character would in fact like a chicken, but most will go to the barn despite this offer. Dorian just wants people to remove them. ;-;

[ Clearly, this message is being sent on slight impulse, a certain degree of stress and despair in his tone despite being delivered, initially, with somewhat sarcastic cheer. ]

It appears I have come into a sudden wealth of--

[ A brief pause, a struggle, not really wanting to say it. ]

--poultry. Livestock.

[ In the background, the gentle clucking of perfectly content chickens makes for a background to Dorian's clipped syllables, clenched teeth, the slight implication in his tone that he might laugh or cry or both, left unchecked. ]

Do come by if you would like one of these. Take as many as you can carry, you're welcome to them. They're not leaving, they just keep running back in, I swear they're following me around-- oh, look at this, just--! It laid an egg! In Nevarran satin! And feathers, everywhere, this coat was spotless, and now it looks like I've rolled around in a chicken--

[ This is the moment he realises why this is happening to him. ]

--coop. Well, I hope you're happy. [ Whether he's addressing a broody hen or Leliana is left to interpretation. ] But no, really, someone take them from-- no no no, get away from that--

[ Message ends. ]

Comments

[liberalum]

I see we have some birds of a feather, here.

[ His tone is that of aloof exasperation. It's hard out there, for a pimp. ]

No deal, I'm afraid. I'm redistributing most of them into the keep of the Inquisition for egg reasons, what with rich people having no idea what to do with money and such.

[mythalenaste]

Don't be ridiculous. Rich people have plenty of ideas what to do with money.

Ruined silks, though. Do you need help salvaging those?

[scuzzy]

Ugh.

[ That's the sound of him leaving. He's done. Good-bye, kid, you are on your own.



But if she asks for money for the cleaning he might (might) remove her (her = Disembodied Voice) from his list of stupid people. ]

[liberalum]

I do.

[ WHATEVER, ACTUALLY MYSTERIOUS DISEMBODIED VOICE. ]

If you'd be so kind, once I've finished re-establishing some order amongst the chaos.

[mythalenaste]

If worst comes to worst, you can cut out the ruined bit and repurpose the rest. What are you doing with silks lying about where chickens can lay eggs on them, anyway?

[liberalum]

[ Dorian makes a sound like this first suggestion physically injured him. ]

Let's keep that last resort aside for the moment. And-- well, had I anticipated a chicken revolution, obviously I'd have put everything away.

[mythalenaste]

What about the cats?