therookery | (no subject)

FORM: Sending Crystal, but there will be a highly vandalized copy of the list up on the board eventually
SENDER: Gavin
RECIPIENT: OPEN
WHAT: Gavin has a List of Things that he has to apologize for, and also to tell people that he's Not Allowed To Do so that maybe public shame will keep him from being an idiot. (It won't.)
WHEN: Forward-dated to around the 22nd, so that Zev and everyone are back and Gavin's not a wreck
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Gavin is an idiot I'm sorry.

[Someone clears their throat, before speaking over the sending crystals. Their voice, once they do speak sounds like this (nsfw?).

Ah-- I really can't read this, what does that word-- Oh. Oh okay. Well I'm sure they'll understand most of it, hopefully.

Hi, ah, everyone. This is Gavin- if that wasn't already obvious. Unless you don't know me, which would definitely not be obvious. If that's the case just keep an eye out for a-- what? Okay, okay, I'll get on with it. Apparently the list will come with a portrait. Who's drawing it? Oh really? I had no idea they could even-- I'm not stalling!

Ahm - Number one.

No one is to accept gifts of food from me, unless I am accompanied by the cook, and have explicit and written persimmons. Persimmons? I thought that was a frui-- oh. Permission. So you don't need a drawing of a fruit, you need to know for sure that I haven't stolen the food I'm giving to you, because I probably have.

Though it's not really stealing, we're all in the Inquisition, it's really just redistrib-- Ow! Okay, okay.

Number two.

I am not allowed to steal - redistribute anything, from anyone, for any reason. Oh come on, this makes me sound like a thief, that's not -- ow ow ow! Okay okay. Sometimes I borrow things to give things to other people, I don't see how that's so bad, but I'm not to do it any more. If you see me doing so, tell Harding, and she'll probably smack me.

Number three.

I am not allowed to climb things that are not meant to be climbed. This includes, but is not limited to - walls, trees, catapults, statues, ice on statues, the icicles hanging off the tits of statues, etc, etc.

Number four.

I am not-- oh come on, that's not fair, that was just the once-- OW--

I am not allowed to put goats in strange places to confuse our avvar friends, and in fact I'm not allowed to do anything with any animal what-so-ever. If I am caught with any creature, it is to be taken from me immediately. Seriously, this is a bit much. Someone has to feed the rats, with Peter gone. And how am I supposed to take a mount-- Walk?

[Gavin just lets out a SIGH.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uhhhh--- I mean, technically, they're Inquisition apples, and you're a member of the Inquisition, sooooo....

[Maybe.]

But what if they were meant for the refugees? Or the cooks wanted them for a recipe?

A recipe you probably would have eaten! Aw, come on, Ellana, It was just a couple apples.

[It was definitely not just a couple of apples.]

I appreciate that you thought of me, but... no more gifts that you don't have the right to give, all right?

Alright, alright. [He sounds pretty down trodden about it, though.]

I don't see why it's a problem to eat the food meant for us though....

It's about how it's distributed, lethallin. The Inquisition has to raise money to run, and that money goes towards certain things. Sure, the food is for us, but some of it goes to the refugees, some is packed up for our supply lines, some stays here in Skyhold. I know it's not a problem if it's an apple or two, but if everyone were to do the same, it would all add up, wouldn't it?

[He sighs.] I guess, but I mean, we could just go and pick more apples.

[He's already had this lecture for the last hour, Ellana, it ain't gettin' through.]

And if the trees are bare?

[ C'mon, Gavin, put on your thinking cap here. ]

[He's actually starting to sound sulky now.]

Ellana, I get the point, but if you eat the apple then you're not going to eat something else, which means someone can have that. I wouldn't be taking anything if we were all starving. And I don't take stuff from the refugees.

I've already had to make an embarrassment of myself to literally everyone in the Inquisition today. Do I really need another lecture?

[ There's a weighted pause as she really considers this, and when she speaks, her voice is soft. ]

Ir abelas. Let's speak of something else. Anything you'd like.

Well uh - how about a gift that you won't hit me for, if I was to give it to you. Today. You know. For your birthday.

[ There's a soft inhale of surprise. ]

You got me a gift? Really?

[ She sounds so pleased and excited. ]

Well - no, not got. Made, really, and it's not much, Ellana, don't get too excited.

I just thought you should get something.

Why shouldn't I be excited? You made me a gift!

[ Gavin, don't you get that what means the most to Ellana is that she matters? ]

I just mean don't - expect much, it really isn't big or anything, or particularly good--

[he feels kind of bad now.]

I'm sure it will be fine. When can I see it?

Now, if you want. [His smile is audible over the crystal.]

Where are you? I'll bring it to you.

Outside the stables. I'll wait for you on the steps outside the kitchen?