crystal.

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Check this report.

More good news, everyone.

[ Already, it doesn't sound like good news. He isn't faking any obnoxious good cheer. Instead it's quiet drawl, 100% subdued sarcasm. ]

We've more or less confirmed that when Hawke and her friends, ah, when they 'killed' Corypheus—

Obviously he wasn't dead. If that part is news, we need to have a talk. But it seems the way he got out of prison while his big, creepy body was dead on the ground was by transferring himself—his soul—into a Warden who was there, and walking out, easy as that.

The Archdemons could do something similar, but not to us. That was the whole point of us. So that's... great...

[ Wearily. But after a moment he steels himself and sounds, if not brighter, at least more brisk. ]

Anyway, if anyone does ever get close enough to kill him, try not to have a Warden with you, I suppose. If you can't help it, you can ask them to laugh afterwards. If they sound too creepy about it, you'll have to kill them too.

Comments

[rathercommon]

Do we know for sure that he couldn't just - do it to anyone? Has it got to be a Warden that he takes over?

[byblow]

Well—

[ He’d assumed. Taint things, you know. ]

—no, we don’t know for sure. I suppose we’ll only find out for sure if someone kills him. But you’re right. Testing everyone’s laughter for creepiness just to be safe would be the best policy.

[rathercommon]

Or...What about just imprisoning him? The way he was before?

[byblow]

Mm. Good thinking. Let the next millennium deal with him.

[doneisdone]

He can try.

[byblow]

I'm not sure you could stab your way out of this one.

[doneisdone]

Ye of little faith.

[dutyful]

[ With some humour - ]

Well, shit.

[byblow]

Has anyone proposed a motto for Riftwatch yet?

[dutyful]

Perhaps, hm, 'Doing our Best'?

you asked for this

[dirth]

I see the Grey Wardens continue to be an asset to Thedas.

[doneisdone]

Got something to say, have you?

[dirth]

I’m concerned with your hearing. I believe I already did say something.

[okayimin]

They are. We still got the Darkspawn to deal with.

[dirth]

The Wardens see themselves as the world's defense against the Blight. When an Archdemon rises, they slay it. What will they do when all the Archdemons are slain?

[heorte]

[ jeez people just tell secrets here ]

That's putting a lot of faith in people's judgement on what is and isn't creepy.

[byblow]

[ Yep. ]

I believe in them. They all have a lot of experience.

[heorte]

[ a doubtful pause ]

And they like most of us by now, don't they?

[okayimin]

Thought the whole point of you Grey Wardens was you could fight Darkspawn without catching the taint?

[byblow]

Well—

[ Well. ]

That too. Sort of.

[okayimin]

Sort of?

[gentlecountry]

You know, Alistairs, you always seems to find yourselfs in the strangest fights, don't you?

[He is definitely impressed, in his own folksy way.]

Mind if I asks you a question?

[byblow]

[ Suspicious. But: ]

Sure, why not.

[gentlecountry]

D'you minds telling me if we're makings a list of the big world-shatterings secrets of the Wardens we're not keepings anymore? I don't wants to be rude, and I do see that things is changed, but I'm not a particularly clever Dwarf and it's easy to gets turned around.

Didn't even gets to learn some things until I was five or tens years in the blue. You don't fucks about in Ferelden, I'll gives you that.

[extortionate]

So he's some kind of demon, now?