diplomacy, gird your loins.

[bouchonne]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Byerly and Eshal.
RECIPIENT: All y'all
NOTES: Blue is Byerly, red is Eshal.

Bonsoir, Riftwatch. I have some dreadful news for you all.

[ Byerly’s voice sounds a bit dry. And characteristically dramatic. ]

My dear comrade and equal, would you like to tell them?

It's not dreadful, get over yourself. Anyway, Diplomacy has two heads, because we're better than the lot of them. Right?

Oh, yes. It’s widely acknowledged as a show of faith to appoint two people to do the job normally done by one. A task given only to truly quality prospects.

Exactly.

[ A sigh. ]

My esteemed self and this esteemed lady have been appointed joint heads of Diplomacy. She, being a decent and righteous soul, has volunteered to hear any and all complaints that might be made about this decision.

Yep. Love to meet the rest of you, honestly. Come by the head office, any time. I'll supply the whiskey.

[ Byerly lifts an eyebrow at her; he’d expected a protest to him volunteering her for that thankless duty. But, well, if she’s willing to be the goat here, let her be the goat. A shrug. That’s it. Meet your new overseers. ]

Comments

[bouchonne]

The assessment pleases you?

[unshut]

Was it meant to?

[bouchonne]

I always want to please. All I ever desire is to make others happy.

[unshut]

Spoken like a true scoundrel.

[bouchonne]

Ah, there's not a scoundrel alive who didn't sprout from the seeds of good intentions.

[unshut]

Ah. Something I might finally believe.

[bouchonne]

Really? Of all the things, that's the one that resonates with you?

[unshut]

Should it not?

[bouchonne]

It's just a curious one. Do you think that people are good, madame?

[unshut]

I believe we have discussed my disposition towards sentiment.

[bouchonne]

And yet.

[unshut]

And yet?

[bouchonne]

And yet you say such things.

[unshut]

Here I thought I was being charitable by granting scoundrels the benefit of the doubt.

[bouchonne]

You are quite generous, it's true. As a scoundrel, I thank you for your succor. It's a wretched and painful thing to be a scoundrel, you see.

[unshut]

Have you considered reform?

[bouchonne]

How would I go about it?

[unshut]

[Quite dry:] I believe it usually involves time spent on one's knees. But I know nothing of the details.

[bouchonne]

Already done that. What's next?

[unshut]

As I said, I know nothing of the details. But in Antiva, wayward girls are encouraged to recite the Chant and contemplate how Maferath's betrayal of purity led him to be slain by the fruit of his loins.

[bouchonne]

I'll admit I'm hardly a scholar of the Chant, but I believe there were a few intermediary steps in there. - Are you devout?

[unshut]

Old habits, you know.

[bouchonne]

From where?

[unshut]

Why from being a wayward girl, of course.

[bouchonne]

Were you really. What a charming thought.