therookery | diplomacy, gird your loins.

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Byerly and Eshal.
RECIPIENT: All y'all
NOTES: Blue is Byerly, red is Eshal.

Bonsoir, Riftwatch. I have some dreadful news for you all.

[ Byerly’s voice sounds a bit dry. And characteristically dramatic. ]

My dear comrade and equal, would you like to tell them?

It's not dreadful, get over yourself. Anyway, Diplomacy has two heads, because we're better than the lot of them. Right?

Oh, yes. It’s widely acknowledged as a show of faith to appoint two people to do the job normally done by one. A task given only to truly quality prospects.

Exactly.

[ A sigh. ]

My esteemed self and this esteemed lady have been appointed joint heads of Diplomacy. She, being a decent and righteous soul, has volunteered to hear any and all complaints that might be made about this decision.

Yep. Love to meet the rest of you, honestly. Come by the head office, any time. I'll supply the whiskey.

[ Byerly lifts an eyebrow at her; he’d expected a protest to him volunteering her for that thankless duty. But, well, if she’s willing to be the goat here, let her be the goat. A shrug. That’s it. Meet your new overseers. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just so. A position that requires wit and charm. Haven't we got it in your eyes?

No.

You wound me. You cannot see me, so you'll simply have to trust that I'm weeping.

I am not trying to wound you.

[YOU'LL KNOW, BYERLY

no really she mostly feels Weird about eshal whoops]

All the worse, then. You speak not from cruelty, but from what you see as truth. And truth bites deeper than anything.

Not as deep as teeth.

I don't know. Teeth don't go that deep.

[they do if yoU'RE NOT A QUITTER]

Then claws.

I've never met a housecat fierce enough for that to be true.

Other things have claws.

What, bears? I've never met a bear at all.

Me.

You have claws, dear girl?

Yes.

I see. I should be pleased to see them.

(no subject)

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Not to be rude or nothing, but what experience you got with it?

[A pause, and then, as though she's waiting for a blow:]

Why?

I'm recruiting.

I know how not to punch people.

So I'll call you in when negotiations get frantic. Thanks for volunteering!

I did not volunteer.

You're in the organization. Can I trust you to come in for emergencies?

[ Eshal, leave her alone, c'mon. By gives a Look. ]

[Fine, fine, just because you asked. She puts her hands up and leans away from the crystal.]

Yes. [A pause.] You are Riftwatch.

[qed.]