[Crystal] [Open]

[mal_adjusted]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Mal Draco
RECIPIENT: The Inquisition
WHAT: Some thoughts on phylacteries, blood magic, and magic.
WHEN: After the end of Phylactery Shenanigans
WHERE: The Gallows
NOTES: Warnings for pro-Circle talk, child emotional abuse, and of course, blood magic.

[There's the slight tinkle of glass, and something thick being sloshed around in a tiny container. A deep, heartfelt sigh. Then Mal speaks softly.]

... this is the first and last piece of willing blood magic I have ever been part of. Everything else was, and still is, just scars on my soul and on my memory.

[She's silent for a moment.]

I'm from Nevarra. In Nevarra, mages are respected, given power and influence but they don't rule. There is - was - a Circle and it was ... amazing. Books and teachers willing to teach you just about anything about magic. I could go home whenever I wanted. The Templars there were strict, but respectful. It was ... competitive, for me. My mother was such a Nevarran institution - a Mortalitasi with a powerful reputation. I could never live up to her, her expectations. I thought excelling in the Circle would finally make her love me.

[Another tinkle of the glass.]

Instead, she just used me as a tool in her blood magic, and since she did that, I was the tool that stopped her. The scar is gone on my skin, but sometimes I trace over it, just to see if I can still feel the raised skin.

[Slosh, slosh.]

My mother was a terror. A monster who attempted to murder an innocent family because they didn't invite her to a baby's name day. The only way they stopped her was me, and finally, her phylactery. When I was taken to Ostwick, I was glad to see my vial wrapped up and packed away. I never wanted to be used as a tool for blood magic -- but I have always been, and and always will be, more afraid of what my desires will drive me to do.

I am my Mother's daughter, after all. Even if she never really wanted to admit that.

[A heavier sigh.]

I have always chosen to go back to a Circle, a safe place, after all this is over. One of our own making, where Carlos and I can feel secure again. Roof over our head, food in our stomachs ... and far, far away from the kind of people who would drag us back down into darkness. If nothing else, this has strengthened my belief of that. Mages, brothers and sisters of the Chantry, Templars and Seekers.... are all, in the end, just people, and people are weak. People will do what they have to, to survive. To move forward, to move up. People will do horrible things to other people, to get what they need, what they want.

[Fingers tighten around the glass object, before there's the sloshing sound of liquid being poured from one glass container to another. Yes, that might be liquor.]

So now, the Inquisition holds my leash after this whole thing and and ... I don't trust myself with it. I don't trust the Inquisition, or the Chantry either. So ... what do I do? Who do I give this to, who do I trust, to stop me when - if - I go too far?

[Tinkle of glass.]

Any ideas, Inquisition?s

Comments

[mal_adjusted]

Oh sure, bring logic to the table. All I have is wine and father issues.

[The faintest of snorts, before she exhales.]

To answer your previous statement -- that's what I want to start. Like, a Circle more like the older Circles. More learning, less crazy sadists. On both sides of the fence. Templars and the Chantry have their good and their bad, and so do the mages. I want a safe Circle - I want every mage who wants to be free to go off and be free ... but leave the rest of us alone. I don't want to fight the good fight anymore.

Which, hey, irony because I'm in the Inquisition ... but this is why I haven't gotten my Circle idea properly sorted.