crystal.

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Underpants
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Everywhere
NOTES: I spent all my AC points on a shopping crate of underpants and bras so anyone can have 2-3 pieces of modern women's underwear of their choosing xoxoxo you're welcome. You don't have to tag me to handwave that your character snuck in and got some, either!

[ Usually when Alistair bothers everyone on these things, he sounds like he's leaned back in a chair somewhere and making it up as he goes along. This time it sounds like he practiced. ]

I have a box of... things, for women. [ Practice doesn't always make perfect. ] I had to wrestle a merchant who wanted to take them to Val Royeaux, but I won. So they're free! To whoever they fit.

A lot of them sort of. Stretch. [ There are some thoughtful pauses. Anyone who knows him might be able to guess it's because he's playing with whatever it is that stretches. ] But then they go back—

Anyway, you can have them. All of you. And if any women want to take the whole box and share it somewhere people don't feel watched while they look, I'm happy to drag it to you.

That's all.

[ Another pause. And a quiet thwack, the sound of cloth hitting a wall, specifically because he's slingshot a pair of underwear across the room. ]

Ah, thank you.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

Things that stretch. For women. You're being so helpful and enlightening.

[byblow]

You know. Things.

[justice_is_blond]

Things? I've no idea what you could mean. Do they say they're specifically for women? Are they labeled?

[He knows. Or he has a good guess, at least. He just wants to harass Alistair.]

[byblow]

Well—no, but generally speaking—um.

Some of them have little bits of paper with pictures of how they're meant to be worn.

[justice_is_blond]

Do they? Have you tried them on? Are they perhaps some sort of fancy hats? Do any of them have cats?

[byblow]

They are not hats, Anders.

There might be cats.

[justice_is_blond]

Scarves, then? Stretchy scarves that can be draped in interesting ways? And of course there are cats. Every proper collection of clothing should have cats.

[byblow]

If you'd like to wear one as a scarf, then by all means...

[justice_is_blond]

It all depends on what they're meant for. Tell me about the drawings; what do they indicate? Do you think I could wear them well?

[byblow]

Maybe you ought to come look for yourself.

[justice_is_blond]

Maybe I should. I'll be right over. I hope you're still trying it on.

[byblow]

I haven't tried any of them on, but for you I might.

[justice_is_blond]

I hope you try on the sparkly ones. I'll head over.

[And then, for several moments, he debates as to whether or not he's going or just going to leave the teasing as is. He's had his fun... but oh, why not? This could be a way to mess with both Alistair and Nate, and how could he pass that up?]

Where, incidentally, am I going?

[byblow]

The supply tent. They're supplies.

[ Duh. ]

[justice_is_blond]

[Shortly thereafter, Anders shows up at the supply tents. In for a copper, in for a gold piece.]

Is the show ready?