collection of vital intelligence

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: IMPORTANT
WHEN: Now, whenever, time is an illusion
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Threadjacking strongly encouraged.

Urrrgent question: what's the most charming way you've ever been flirted with? And the least charming. Or the most and least charming ways you've ever flirted with someone else.

I know how this sounds, but I really am asking for a friend.

—if you know any good puns, share those, too.

That's all. Thank you.

Comments

[eviscerates]

Worst? Not uniquely bad, but getting hit on by drunks every night at work got a little old.

[byblow]

Did it make you... howling mad?

[eviscerates]

( that would be less of a slap in the face if not for the recent, you know. loss of control and eating people thing.
there's a brief moment where she has to recalibrate and make an effort not sound mad.
but she is kinda mad. )

No, actually. But it did make sure I always remember that men can presumptuous jackasses.

[byblow]

Not literal jackasses, I hope. Or do you have werejackasses? Wereasses?

[eviscerates]

Only wolves. Being a jackass extends to all species.

[byblow]

What if you had a jackass—the rude sort—who was also a werejackass, the hoofed sort? That seems like it would warrant a special name.

[eviscerates]

I was thinking "Alistair" might be a good name, actually.

[byblow]

Ouch. [ But his quiet laugh is a real laugh, not wounded at all. ] Ouch. Though you know—I set that one up so well for you, I'm not sure you should get credit.

[fleurdesel]

Vous l'esprit de votre langue quand vous lui parlez, vous imbécile.

[byblow]

Wait, wait, repeat that? When people start going on in Orlesian it can throw me for a loup.

[fleurdesel]

Not this time, Stable boy. Not tonight, not with her, not ever, do you understand me?

[ He is crossing a line, best he be aware of it. ]

[eviscerates]

Del. Don't worry about it.

[fleurdesel]

Someone must and so I shall. You would not stand for this mockery of me, how am I to do the same?

[byblow]

Touch-y.

[ If he could turn into a wolf he would make wolf puns all the time. What is wrong with people. ]

[fleurdesel]

Don't.

[ If a tone could carry through the crystals and throttle him- hers would. ]

[byblow]

Don't... say touchy?

[ EVEN TOUCHIER THAN EXPECTED. ]

[fleurdesel]

Alistair.

[ That- is not exasperated enchanter. That is not annoyed woman. That is angry mage in g minor. ]

[byblow]

Adelaide.

[ The only thing more nostalgia-inducing than angry mage is Orlesian noblewoman angry with him when he isn't entirely sure what he's done wrong. ]

[fleurdesel]

Could you not be your foolish, flippant self for one moment and leave her be? Or is such common decency so beyond you?

[byblow]

She's talking to me.

[fleurdesel]

Out of some misplaced ideal of civility.

[byblow]

Uh-huh. All right. Next time I use this thing I'll ask everyone who answers if they'd really like to talk to me or if they feel obligated for some reason.

[ He really will. ]

[fleurdesel]

You are- I do not have words for how irksome you are, Stable boy.

[byblow]

No? To me it's always seemed like you a lot.