[ OPEN CORRESPONDENCE ] TELL ME BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW

[universal_charm]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Jim Kirk
RECIPIENT: Everyone who wants to listen
WHAT: Two important points of business
WHEN: Currently
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Potential (probably guaranteed) raunchiness

_{[ There's a soft muttering at first - "Does this thing actually work? I think I'm doing this right... okay here goes..." a cough and finally - ]}

Ah, good afternoon everyone. My name's Jim Kirk, and I haven't been here long, but I had a couple of things I wanted to look into, if anyone could be so kind as to provide answers.

First - I'm looking for either a woodworker, merchant, anyone can make or provide a chess board and chess pieces. If you don't know what that game is, I can describe what it is I need, and even teach it to you, if you like. It's a strategy game where I am from that I am fond of, and I would like a little piece of home while so far away from it.

I'm willing to pay, of course.

But now for the really important question....

What are the best and worst pick up lines - either used on you or that you've used yourself?

_{[ It's definitely an important question. ]}

Comments

[hugeinorlais]

Hands down, worst line I've ever heard? "Sure is a nice night for an evening."

Worst line I've ever used? Well, that one goes to: "If your parents approved it wouldn't be any fun."

Oh--no wait. I did once ask if someone wanted to get Hard in Hightown with me. That one probably takes the cake.

[universal_charm]

_{[ Have to admit, Varric, he's impressed - it's totally there beneath the chortling, but come on, those were actually good in a really terrible sort of way. ]}

I don't know, I think I almost like "get hard in high town with me".

[hugeinorlais]

Hey, it worked, I just admit that in retrospect? Really terrible line.

So, how about you? Got any terrible lines you'd like to share?

[universal_charm]

They say hind sight is 20-20 after all.

Hmmm, let's see, there are quite a few... Oh, I know!

'It's handy I have my library card, because I am checking you out."

[hugeinorlais]

[Varric understood each of those words individually--but no, as a dwarf, he is one of the few people in Thedas who have any concept of checking things out of any sort of repository. And, if nothing else, dwarves basically invented paperwork. So, being credentialed in order to check things out? Yeah, that checks out makes...sense.

True, he's not really imagining a library so much as (his vague idea of) a shaperate, but it comes to about the same thing.]

Not bad, not bad.

How about: Are you an arcanist? Because you are enchanting.

[universal_charm]

Haha, you might have to explain that one to me. What's an 'arcanist'?

[hugeinorlais]

Oh, someone who specializes in the arcane--enchantments, runes, that sort of thing.

You can usually tell which person in the room is an arcanist because they'll be the one surrounded by fire who looks happy to be there.

[universal_charm]

Sure. I'm just... going to pretend I understand half of that.

_{[ He gives a self deprecating laugh. ]}

So are they someone to steer clear of or just handle with care?