OPEN | i just blue myself

[justnice]

FORM: Sending Crystal
SENDER: Finch!
RECIPIENT: You!
WHAT: A very important question.
WHEN: Post-cure distribution.
WHERE: Your local Gallows laundries.
 

So, ah,

Anyone reckon they know how to get blue out of things?

Comments

[degenere]

That of course depends. What are the things?

[justnice]

Mostly sheets, and rags, and clothes, and thi — I think. There's some, um, private things. Too.

[degenere]

Ah, underclothes. I see. Well, I do not see, because, of course, they are private.

[And this is a crystal message. Still.]

For those things, I suggest you give them to a laundress. Problem solved.

[justnice]

I am the laun —

[ wait. what's the boy word. ]

— Der. Laund...rer. Launderer. Man.

[degenere]

[A pause.]

You are a launderer-man who does not know the removal of stains, or his own title?

1/2

[justnice]

I’m,

[ a pause, as though trying to work out some cunning ruse (or whether anyone would bother to fire him) ]

New?

2/2

[justnice]

So you don't know, then.

[degenere]

Of course I don't know. It is not my job to know. If it were my job, I would made sure that I knew everything about it. Soaps, and the qualities of the different types, abrasiveness of scouring tools, the secrets to stain removals--are their herbs involved, perhaps? Is it done by wishing? Soaking? And so on--advanced techniques not yet widely known or shared.

I would have learned all of these things, and more. But I did not, because I did not choose launderer-man as my profession. You, apparently, did.

[justnice]

[ someone a bit braver might ask what it is his job to know —]

I haven't tried wishing.

[ — but mildly sulky is about as bold as this is gonna get ]

[degenere]

Do. Or you might ask in prayer for guidance. With your great devotion and sincerity, the Maker might show favor to you. Or else we might be sent a laundress who does know how to wash, and all be delivered from terrible staining.

We have a story of a miraculous washing in Orlais. Have you heard it?

1/2

[justnice]

Heard mostly about fire in Orlais,

2/2

[justnice]

[ whoops ]

[degenere]

[ r a i s e s e y e b r o w s ]

And?

what do i do to always get you to reply with the shirtless icon

[justnice]

What's the story?

wait a month for my icons to run out, OR ask nicely

[degenere]

It is a very good story. But perhaps we make an exchange. A story, for a story. First, you tell me about these fires.

well the second one's just not gonna work

[justnice]

Well — [ hesitation. he's only ever heard — spoken of — halamshiral in tones of indignance. it grapples with caution now, finds some lame middle ground: ] — Whole cities burning last I heard.

[ not the whole city. not at all. ]

look for no shirt in a month then

[degenere]

I see.

Whole cities? Not halves? And no one is working to extinguish these fires?

like a very particular werewolf

[justnice]

Can't have been trying very hard at it.

basing my new side character on that concept thnx

[degenere]

Perhaps! Orlesians do hate difficult work. Especially when soot is involved.

Or, perhaps rumors have been going about on long and burning legs. Unless you have a source more reliable than mere hearsay, which I rarely trust on its own as anything but titillation.

[justnice]

[justnice]

I suppose you're right, Messere.

[ hashtag doubtful. but he is going to FACT CHECK this if he ever sees bernard's cousin's friend again ]

[degenere]

Naturally.

[Right, and confident.]

Now, remind me. What was the tale I was going to tell you?

[justnice]

A miraculous washing.

[degenere]

Yes, of course. The miraculous washing.

Once there was a very devout laundress who said all of the correct prayers and regularly made heartfelt confession of her sins, and attended services and even lectures on philosophical questions of Andrastism--though in truth, she understood very little of the sophisticated and complicated topics that were broached at these lectures. As pure as her heart was, her mind was simple.

But because faith is rewarded, the devout laundress was blessed with the nearly divine ability to wash clean any stain. Just by looking at a stain, she could predict where it had come from and what to do about it. News of her gift spread across all of Orlais, and soon there were whole cartloads of laundry being driven in to Val Royeaux so that she could wash them by hand and remove their stains.

What a reward, yes?

[justnice]

[ long pause. to appreciate the story, probably. ]

What was your name again, Messere?