crystal; open

[inagutterson]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Yngvi
RECIPIENT: Open
WHAT: If you had the chance to change your fate...
WHEN: Backdated to closer to the start of the year (life why are you like this)
WHERE: Gallows
NOTES: Likely to get into some Carta things as well as discussion of less than ideal childhoods and mercy killings. Hit me up if you have concerns/want to skirt around things.

How d'you leave a thing if a thing was always you? [Not the best opening line, he needs to back up a bit.  Compared to last time on the crystals where it was putting on an old pair of boots that don't fit right now, it's not as bad as before.  Less sharp.  Just someone deflated as if they've been trying to climb a thing only to consider their stamina for the venture.]  Like say you grew up with a story taught in the cold, dark, damp but it was all yours in your bones same as that thing so even if it was full of knives those are your knives, and you're not some soft thing. And the story was about some siblings who go out one day by the docks. One get gets caught in a rope and the other one ties themselves to it to haul the other in but they both drown. They get called sentiment and hope.

[Carta bedtime stories aren't like your typical bedtime stories.  Yngvi is aware of that, thanks, the embarrassed almost laugh gives it away.]

So say that was your bedtime story, and you-- you were complicit in big things but you grew up that way so you were a kid, and you ate all your siblings because otherwise they ate you... how do you leave? I mean can you? Or do things grind you up to dust and swallow you down instead?

Comments

[meds4sale]

If sentiment and hope had drowned you would not be asking such a question.

What, I wonder, are you holding onto?

[inagutterson]

I...I did something for the patriarch of my family, my father, in Dusttown where in the end we had to kill Casteless. And he-- it was just a transaction. But things I did before were part of it, what happens to them then and now, and the food I did get or the clothes that was--

[Breathing, he needs to do that when his voice rises with that sharp hitch.]

It's a big rope, it's really big, and I don't know what I'm letting go of if I let go.