[Watch a friend rot from the inside out when he was getting better then give him to his gods. Watch another one years ago scream herself out when everyone was dead then spend a month silent as a tomb with everyone keeping some unspoken pact to stay up with her at all hours. Or stand vigil outside the door of your lady when she's so sad you don't know why, but you're as scared as you've ever been because there aren't words, there won't be words, and she won't say, you can't ask, you can only guard her door until one day she comes out.

Comes out different but at least she comes out.]

Books have to be balanced. You don't talk like someone who went into things without a debt somewhere, and they keep track of it. You can think it, but even if you were shit at what you did, they want to be in the black, not the red. If you're in the red, well—[Well everyone was in the Deep Roads, and Yngvi has it under his nails.]

Some things it doesn't matter if they explained it to you, you can have it explained a hundred times or a thousand. It's in the execution. There's a lot to consider. [Which he's been mulling over a long time now, only in pieces. This is getting it there without getting into a fight on the way.]