sending crystal.

[degenere]

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé
RECIPIENT: everyone
WHAT: a complaint
WHEN: immediately
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: excessive whining

Inquisition.

[Hello again it's Val, very Orlesian.]

Or should I said, traitors. When a man dies, it is customary to gather the family together in the most comfortable--or uncomfortable, if it is a family that deserves punishing--and read aloud from his will. Even the most foolhardy of men must have such a document prepared. Or else how will he, upon his death, deal one last blow to those who would grub for his worldly possessions, and deal one last kiss upon the cheek to those who he loved so well and in his love, found deserving of his best things?

An example. In my will, I have written: to Freddie, I leave half my books. To Jehan, I leave the other half. And if both are dead--as they must surely be, if my will is being read, for we would have perished together, the three of us, united as we have been for so long, no doubt embarked upon some fantastical quest the like of which only a small number have been privileged enough to have lived--then I leave all of my books to the great library University of Orlais, the place where my heart truly resides.

In my will, I have not written: to the Inquisition, I leave the right to give away my position. What is more--

[Loudly, now--] I WAS NOT DEAD. I am not dead. I am alive. And now I must prove such a thing? Absurd! And then, the insult that compounds the injury: now I find that as I bear this grave indignity, I must also bear demotion?

It is unheard of. Uncouth. I suffer. By the Maker, I will make all suffer with me.

Comments

[degenere]

[Distinctly not warm and fuzzy.]

Well, yes, and your first point would be very true, if I had, in fact, been dead. But I was not. I was alive.

And I could not inform anyone of anything to the contrary. It was of great importance that I remain safely out of sight and, then, for my own safety and the safety of us all, that I remain dead. But not truly dead, I cannot stress that point enough, though it seems I must, or else risk being dead to the law and to the Inquisition for the rest of my life, during which I shall, of course, be very much alive.

Really, I should be rewarded this position anew. Out of joy and relief.

[arlathvhen]

I deeply regret that you were forced into such straits that you had to feign death to everyone, including the Inquisition and your fellow leaders. But since, by your own admission, you were unable to inform any of us that you were not, in fact, dead, you can hardly find it surprising that this was the impression that we were under. Since. That's what you were trying to convince everyone of.

Here, I would like to remind you that keeping secrets is, quite literally, in my job description, as well as passing on false information. Particularly when this information concerns the safety of the Inquisition, as you claim it to. Perhaps you should bare that in mind the next time you decide to die.

It is, however, a great relief that to discover that stories of your demise were greatly exaggerated. I had feared that I would have to deal with all the paperwork that you had apparently left when you left the mortal plane.

[ baka. ]

[degenere]

The one good thing of this false death is that all of my paperwork has been burned. But only the unimportant paperwork. I was clever enough to take pains to hide and disguise the important paperwork before I was forced to flee Kirkwall.

Flee, you see, is the important word. It was not a secret able to be shared with anyone, under pain of-- a terrible fate.

Well, I shared it with Freddie and with Jehan, of course. But that is different. Did you miss me, while I was dead?

[arlathvhen]

Yes, it was dreadful. Nightly, I would wear a silk shawl and climb to the top of the lighthouse, to stare mournfully out into the ocean while the wind howled around me.

...Did you really burn nearly all your paperwork?

[degenere]

Only what was unimportant, yes. You must show me this lighthouse! I do not know that I have seen it.

[arlathvhen]

Are you planning on dramatically mourning someone who has feigned their death?

[degenere]

I plan to dramatically mourn my time as head of research, so--in a way, yes. Why not appreciate the clean lines of a lighthouse while I am doing it?

[arlathvhen]

I thought that you were going to attempt to reclaim your job. Lighthouse mourning is strictly limited to things that are permanently gone.

Much like you were, supposedly.

...But, I can show you to the lighthouse if it means that much to you. It's not particularly difficult, and I could hardly refuse a request from the recently departed. It would be the poorest of manners.

[ Wait until night and look for the light that's going around in a circle. ]