Crystals | OTA

[aforethought]

FORM: Crystals
SENDER: Melys
RECIPIENT: Everyone!
WHAT: IC Would-you-rather
WHEN: Now-ish
WHERE: ~Everywhere~
NOTES: Threadjack like mad, please.

[ without preamble, ]

So here’s what: You make up two choices. Maybe they’re both shit, or maybe they’re both alright, but you say them — then you gotta say which one you’d pick, if you had to.

And maybe why. And then everyone else’s gotta answer too. Like this, 

Would you rather not be able t'lie, or only be able to? 

— And no one gives a damn for who you’re fucking or who fucked you over, so don’t go dragging that mess in here or I’ll puke on your shoes.

Comments

[aforethought]

All stayin' starts somewhere.

[ there's no hesitation — ]

Taste. Ain't like you'd miss much.

[ if you're raised on ferelden cooking at least ]

[faithlikeaseed]

What have they been feeding you? [That's mock-horror, not actual horror.]

[aforethought]

What, your guts go with your sight? Ain't like you get by on hot air.

[faithlikeaseed]

The food here's not so bad I'd wish away my taste without thinking about it.

Just--boring. What kind of port city doesn't even have fish paste?

[aforethought]

Yeah, but taste or touch? That's a no-brainer. Maybe they figure there's better t'do with fish than just smash it all up.

[faithlikeaseed]

All I'm saying is I'd hesitate a moment. Might be different if I could still see, too.

No, no--you keep the rest of the fish, just ferment the guts. Maybe throw in some anchovies to cure with it. Waste not, want not.

[aforethought]

[ a beat, and then repeated plainly:]

Maybe they figure there's better t'do with fish than just smash it all up and let it rot a few months.

[ she says, as though she wouldn't eat the shit out of that ]

You give it up for taste these days and you're gonna run into walls, don't care how much mage shit you draw on them first.

[faithlikeaseed]

Maybe they're wrong.

[someday he's bringing you authentic garum, melys]

People'd take pity on me. [no wait he meant that to be a joke but now he sounds so bitter, reverse course] Which has got its uses.

[aforethought]

[ it's a moment before she replies, uncharacteristically intent, ]

Fuck pity. [ another pause ] You take what they offer, but you don't never let them think they're getting it for free.

[ because they're getting something out of it. everyone wants something, always. maybe it soothes their guilt a little, maybe makes it easier to pretend it couldn't happen to them. maybe makes it easier to put some distance between all the misfortune you represent.

you take it, because like he says, it's useful. because all the more often you'll find some other breed of condescension curled up ugly in its place, the kind that doesn't pay, that only pays in teeth.

but you always make them work for it. you make them work for what they want. you don't ever forget that it's an exchange, these small pieces of dignity you trade away for comfort, for ease. you don't forget, because sooner or later you have to choose — and whichever you pick, you've got to know why. ]

[faithlikeaseed]

[somebody gets it and that's enough to shock him right into silence.

he'd never say that aloud himself because the pity's kindly meant, isn't it, and there's no point in bringing more suffering into the world just because their concern rubs him the wrong way (don't you know you can't do that anymore; here, let us help, as if he didn't know his own limitations and how it takes failure to break past them).

but still he wants to, some days, when he hears their voices go gentle with condescension, when they offer help he knows he needs. because pity rots the heart and if his were any smaller it'd've been eaten hollow by now.

finally, quietly:]

No. You don't ever.

[how do you know, he wants to ask, and knows better.]

[aforethought]