CRYSTAL - OPEN | TAKING A LEATHER BEATING

[universal_charm]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Jim Kirk
RECIPIENT: Anyone and everyone
WHAT: Kirk has gotten an assignment in the Research division and he needs some third party help
WHEN: Through Justinian
WHERE: Gallows
NOTES: Probably some innuendo

Hello everyone, this is Jim Kirk speaking.

I'm going to be conducting some experiments on leather samples I have been provided and I need help from anyone so inclined. I could use the help of anyone strong and can swing weapons, and also the help of several mages with varying expertise - fire, ice, that sort of thing.

I'm willing to work out a compensation for your time. Please contact me with your availability and your skills if you're interested.

Comments

[wardeneructate]

What are you paying with?

[universal_charm]

That's negotiable. What would you be interested in?

[wardeneructate]

Not really how you catch interest. You should tell me what you're offering as a start and then I can tell you if I want in.

[Obviously.]

[universal_charm]

I'm giving you the chance here to state your terms. I'm open to anything reasonable. Alcohol, coin, my running errands for you - like I said, negotiable.

[wardeneructate]

Heh. Now you're talking.

[He gives a snort to clear his nose some.]

Alright. What you got in the way of alcohol?

[universal_charm]

Whatever they got around here to buy that I can afford. Tends to mean beer or piss wine. So take your pick. Amount depends on the hours you work with me.

[wardeneructate]

You've never done this before have you. The whole actually enticing someone to want to do some labor for you.

[universal_charm]

I prefer honesty. But maybe I can get you a nice bottle of wine. Depends on the quality of your work for me, you know.

[wardeneructate]

Not a good way to get good work out of people. Give them good reward that makes them want to. Otherwise you got some sodding idiots ready to do nothing for you because you're not showing signs of giving them reward.

Piss poor system. It's why people want to know what they're getting before they go in. Telling me you're giving me cheap stuff because you can't get something better doesn't make me want to do things for you. You get what I'm saying, kid?

Come on now. You can do better.

[.......His dad side is coming out whether he wants it to or not.]

[universal_charm]

_{[ He lets out a sigh, not enjoying getting the lecture. ]}

So what, I should lie to you and say I have a grade A wine from the fanciest shop in town? What happens when it comes time to pay and I don't have it? That's an even worse way to do business because now I've made an enemy since I stiffed someone. Seems like a good way to get a knife in the back next time I'm at a bar.

_{[ So there. ]}

Not like it's complicated work anyways. This would be worth a beer and a pizza back home...

Wine and a meal, from a nice bar. A room to crash in too if you get that drunk.

[wardeneructate]

Never said you had to offer what you don't have. But telling someone that you can't get them something good isn't the way to do it. I'm not even merchant caste and I know that.

[A little burp then...]

Heh. I don't need a room. Under a table works fine for me. Some lady might end up there so I get a good look up those skirts.

[gatheringstorm]

You...want me to blast or zap leather?

Sure, why not.

[circleprodigy]

I can contribute ice. Compensation can be playtime with Garahel.

[aceso]

It seems you have all the elemental magic covered that could affect leather, but I could take a few swings at it with my spirit blade, if you would like?

[universal_charm]

Oh, yes, that would be very helpful. I actually hadn't thought of that as being a thing that should be tested, so thank you.

[universal_charm]

You mean doggy sit? Sure, I can do that. Would he like going on a jog with my horse?

[universal_charm]

Yes, that's pretty much it. We'll do it to every kind of leather and just record the results. What holds up better and what doesn't, that sort of thing. I just need you to keep a consistent amount of power behind each spell.

[universal_charm]

_{[ So classy, Oghren. And pervy. ]}

Or they might roll you out with the barrels, but if you're fine with it, so am I.

[aceso]

Mm hmm. Where is this taking place and when?

[circleprodigy]

[Enthusiastic barking in response.]

I believe he agrees wholeheartedly. Let me know when you need me.

[gatheringstorm]

Sure, I can do that. When do you want me to test this out for you?

[el_tybs]

Well I'm a mage and can swing weapons. [And he's got a magical weapon.]

I'm usually available evenings - give or take the mood my roommate is in. As for my skill sets do you want a personal demonstration or shall I just list them?

[Oh he's definitely having fun with this.]

[provenforce]

I'd volunteer my lightsabers but I think you'd be hard pressed to find a leather that I couldn't cut through.

[youwonscience]

I am shocked, shocked that no one is making jokes about what you're testing the leather for. Is that not a thing in Thedas?

[She is aggrieved on your behalf, sir.]

I was going to say something about making sure you keep it well-oiled, for the record, but now it just feels weird.

[universal_charm]

You know, I've honestly been waiting for that, and no, no one has risen to the challenge.

_{[ Thank you, it is nice to know someone shares in his disappointment. ]}

Hah, well, I appreciate the thought. But it's all very above board, for armor and such.