sending crystal

[mythalenaste]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Pel
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Bored insomniac crap
WHEN: Current, an hour or two after the Kirkwall announcement
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES:

What's a good name for a sword?

[beat]

Not Alexander.

Comments

[el_tybs]

[Hearing that brings a small smile to his face as he shakes his head in slight amusement at hearing that. Hyperactive even before getting out into the world.

After a moment Sam starts to chew on the inside of his cheek, fidgeting, obvious that he has something to say, but just doesn't know how to bring it up.]

Hey... so I overheard you telling Iskandar that you're considering Alexander for a name for the baby...

[mythalenaste]

[Pel had been a little anxious about this talk, considering what Sam has recently been though. What horrible news from the future is he bringing? Have all her hopes been for nothing?

She swallows and looks down.]

It's...not going to live, is it.

[She tries to steel herself for the answer, but she knows there is no steeling herself for this.]

[el_tybs]

[Sam blinks at Pel's reaction before his eyes go wide at where her train of thought had gone.]

No!

[He grimaces slightly at how loud that had been, knowing that he probably scared a few people in the tents. He starts again; more quietly this time though.]

No. It's just... Sina was a much better name for her.

[mythalenaste]

[The breath goes out of her. She looks up at Sam with wide eyes.

Sina.

She wants to ask questions about her. What she is like, what he saw in her. But she doesn't. She wants to be like any other parent, surprised and continually learning rather than working from expectations that may not come to pass.

Unaware of her mother's momentary crisis, Little Sina kicks her ribs hard and Pel winces with a surprised laugh, massaging her belly with the heel of one hand to move those little feet to a more comfortable location.]

A little girl, [she says in a peculiar euphoria. She knows she's not supposed to care one way or another, but for some reason, knowing for sure makes her unbelievably happy.] Is she strong?

[el_tybs]

[It seems like Sam relaxes a bit himself once he's said it, having not been sure how Pel would have taken to him telling her about Sina.]

Well she was five at the time. [He chuckles lightly at that, but continues knowing that wasn't exactly what she was asking.] She was extremely bright and had an amazing amount of insight on things, and very brave for a little girl living in that kind of world.

[mythalenaste]

[A hardness comes into Pel's eyes.]

She won't have to live in that world. Not when she has me to make it safe for her.

[el_tybs]

[He honestly hopes that none of them will have to, that things could be changed. Still that look in Pel's eyes has the mage rubbing the back of his neck.]

I hope so, Pel. I imagine she wants that too... She... everyone lost you rather early. They all want you to be around for Sina growing up.

[mythalenaste]

[That stills everything. The whole world. Even Little Sina has--no, actually, Little Sina just started stretching out. Which seems to mean she is about to go back to sleep. Pel touches her through her own skin.]

I...see.

[This changes pretty much everything. Her notions of braving the world armed with sword and spell, willing to put herself between her daughter and danger. That's not how things really are. The safest place for Little Sina will not be behind her, it will be in her arms.]

Was it...preventable?

[el_tybs]

That... I'm not quite sure, Pel.

The future I went to... a lot went wrong. We lost a lot of people, a lot of ground, and what was left of the Inquisition was sent underground. Everyone had to fight, had to pull their weight, you probably more so to try and make things better for Sina. Just... one of those times you never came back.

[mythalenaste]

[Sina has finally gone quiet. Pel's hand hasn't left her belly, though. She has quietly decided on what she must do.]

I see. Then there will be no more volunteering for combat missions. I'm a mother first and a researcher second, and not a soldier at all.

Thank you for telling me this.

[el_tybs]

To be honest I wasn't sure how to approach you on this, or if I should - there have been a lot of voices on how to deal with time travel. But I promised Sina that if I got back I would try everything in my power to make sure you were still around for her.

[mythalenaste]

[Pel glances at him sharply. That stung, and felt like he was blaming her for something that hasn't happened.]

That isn't your call to make. It isn't hers, either. It's mine.

[el_tybs]

[At the look and the tone, Sam puts his hands up.]

I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want, Pel. It is your choice at the end. I'm just saying why it took me so long to actually say anything.