{ CLOSED }

[aceso]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Christine Delacroix
RECIPIENT: Any of her CR still left in the Dark AU. She wouldn't send this to the whole Inquisition, so it's sort of locked?
WHAT: Just asking what's shakin'.
WHEN: Cloudreach 13th 9:48
WHERE: random hidden spot in the Frostbacks
NOTES: Christine's mental state has deteriorated so she'll be erratic, angry, and possibly not easy to talk to.

[ Every waking moment hurts and yet Christine lingers on. For the last two years, she's been slowing the spread of her red lyrium corruption with healing magic, but most days she can't remember to do it now. Her head is full of a song and the longer she focuses on it, the deeper she sinks into it. But some days she awakes in pain and her head is clear enough to focus for a little while. Today she grips her crystal tight in her claw-shaped hand, red spikes of lyrium jutting out through her skin from where they're fused with her bones. ]

It is me.

[ Her voice should be easy to recognize. It now sounds like two voices at once, too close together to be an echo, and with a humming sound woven through as well. ]

What news?

Comments

[aceso]

[ Speaking of Zevran reminds Christine of Sam, and that hurts just as much as her body currently does. ]

All gone, all gone.

[ For a moment she hums along to the song in her head before stopping abruptly at Korrin's question. ]

What? No-- Yes! Wait. [ She growls low in her throat, angry that this fact is eluding her. ] I know it. I do. [ There's a pause before an answer appears in her mind. ] She... left. Yes, that was it. Gjurd told me the last time I saw him. She is with the Boneflayers now, but beyond that, I do not know.

[gatheringstorm]

[There's a soft sigh of relief at that.]

Good. At least they're together, I can live with that. I've sent her a couple of messages here and there, but it's been hell up here, and not much time to talk.

...how bad is it now? Tell me, Christine. [Korrin can guess, certainly, but it's her way of giving the woman an outlet if she wants one.]

[aceso]

[ She shouldn't be surprised. Korrin has always been one to get to the point without lacing things in niceties. There was a time Christine appreciated forwardness, but now she isn't so sure. It's hard to remember who she's supposed to be anymore.

The question makes her look down at her hand and the glowing crystal that sings so sweetly to her. ]

It hurts.

[ She could really just leave it at that. Everything has hurt since she left the Inquisition, in more than just physical ways. ]

The red has come to the surface. Sometimes it is all that I see. [ There's a frustrated huff, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor. She's swung out a hand and knocked a wooden cup aside, but the sound doesn't satisfy her. She wants to break things. ] I keep forgetting what is real and what I have hallucinated as real. Tomorrow I will wonder if I spoke to you at all.

[gatheringstorm]

...I'm sorry, Christine. You don't deserve to suffer under that shit. It's not something I'd wish on anyone.

[How Christine has managed to endure, she can't say but it must have taken something Korrin herself would not possess. She would have made a suicide run at the first chance.]

I'll destroy what red lyrium I find up here for you, and the Red Templars, too. They aren't as plentiful as Qunari, but I'll make a detour if need be.

[aceso]

[ She knows the red stuff is bad, but even though that is an undeniable truth, there is a pang in her chest at the thought of Korrin destroying it. It doesn't want to be destroyed; it wants to be cherished and wants to spread its song.

But that's bad, isn't it? Christine wishes she could remember. ]

Do what you must. How are you keeping?

[gatheringstorm]

I'm...surviving, day to day. It's always some battle or sabotage mission, anything to keep busy and keep them on their toes. But they're still advancing; I don't know how much longer we can keep them back.

[aceso]

[ Not exactly what she wants to hear, but not surprising either. ]

What do you think will happen if they win?

[gatheringstorm]

'If'? No, it's when. I can see that clearly, for all I've been trying to deny it. They'll crush anyone who doesn't fit into the Qun, build up their strength, then head west. If they crush Tevinter, they can take the continent.

Maybe whatever's past the Donarks or the Sea of Ash will be far enough away from them. I don't know. But I'm not running.

[aceso]

I do not think they will leash that many mages in the south. They will kill most.

[ Is it a comfort than she won't be alive to see it? Probably. ]

What if they came south and everyone had already left? Would they not feel silly? They came all this way to bring us the Qun and we are already dead or gone.

[ She starts giggling. ]

Just picture the looks on their faces!

[gatheringstorm]

Better death than life as a saarebas.

[Korrin can't manage a giggle, only a sad sort of huff.]

That's the idea, cheat them out of their victory. We can't stop their coming, but we can make them regret it. And at least Tevinter will suffer for it, too. Given that all of this is their fault, I'd say the destruction of their empire is only fair.

[aceso]

Yes.

[ She's coming to realize that death is preferable to many things, like her current state. ]

So much suffering. [ She hums again as the song grows louder. ] Have you been killing them too? The Tevinters?

[gatheringstorm]

[That humming is unnerving, but she doesn't see the point in asking Christine to stop. It can't be helped.]

Oh, yes. Every vint I can find, no matter what. Those pieces of shit don't deserve anything other than a painful death, and to know what one of their hated racial enemies is the last thing they'll see. Sometimes I find them with rifter hands; then they lose their own before they die.

[aceso]

They have rifters' hands?

[ Her mood swiftly turns and now the sound of shattered pottery comes through the crystal. ]

Bastards! I hope you found the one with my Church's hand! I hope you made them suffer like they made him suffer!

[ She's envisioning their painful deaths with eyes put out, a boot crushing their throat, and much, much more. ]

[gatheringstorm]

[Korrin's already done her ranting, screamed until her throat grew raw. She doesn't have it in her now to muster more than a hard, bitter tone.]

Oh, I did. They died screaming in fear and agony. And I'll take down more, every one of those damned shitheels that I can find. I didn't think it was possible, but learning they accepted those bounties made me hate them even more.

[aceso]

[ Christine well knows how few people in Thedas have hearts. That the Venatori don't is no surprise. ]

Good, good. Yes, that-- that is what I like to hear.

[ A sort of manic energy takes hold of her, and she crouches to clean up the broken bits of pottery while still clutching her crystal in her other hand. ]

Do it for all the rifters we have lost, as well as your own reasons.

[gatheringstorm]

...for Araceli.

[As though that wasn't obvious. They didn't take her hand, but they might as well have; and her softness and kindness with it.]

[aceso]

Yes. For those we have loved and lost.

[ She stares at the pottery she's scooped into a pile before moving to lie down. It never used to be like her to leave a mess because everything had to be clean and perfect, but now she's dying so what does it matter? ]

Sometimes I think I hear his voice. And sometimes I forget he is gone. I think it was just a nightmare. But then I remember.

[gatheringstorm]

Same here, for all of it. I'd love to wake up and realize that none of this ever happened, but....

[aceso]

Yes. That... that would be nice.

[ But it's an unattainable dream. This is their world now. ]

Yet this is reality. I will not be suffering through it much longer.

[gatheringstorm]

[What does one say to that? 'Good' sounds callous. But Korrin wouldn't want to see it drag out for Christine, either. She deserves an end to all that suffering.]

Does the Hold know? Will they...be there? [The thought of Christine being alone for it is too much.]

[aceso]

They know; what is left of them, I mean. Many left. I cannot say who remains.

[ She pauses, distracted for a moment until she realizes that she hasn't answered the second question. ]

No! I do not want them here. They should stay away. If it is too much to bear, Cullen can take a knife to me, or lead me into one of the traps set up outside.

[ It was a morbid idea struck by two individuals whose minds are half gone. They thought to lay out traps and not tell the other where they were. So if a day comes when one goes into a rage, they can chase the other until they fall onto a trap and die. ]

[gatheringstorm]

[Korrin sighs, wanting to protest, but it's not like she's there to do anything about it.]

...well, as long as Cullen's there, too. You shouldn't be alone.

[aceso]

Monsters should keep each other company.

[ It's said with resignation. She believes that is what they are now. ]

[gatheringstorm]

As long as there's a part of you that's still yourselves, I wouldn't call you that.

[Once that's gone, though....]

[aceso]

I still remember things...

[ She remembers days without pain, or fear, or anger. But then the song gets louder and she thinks someone's coming to steal her red away and she screams and shouts and bars the door. ]

But soon that will go too. Maybe it will be better once it does. Nothing left to regret.