collection of vital intelligence

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: IMPORTANT
WHEN: Now, whenever, time is an illusion
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Threadjacking strongly encouraged.

Urrrgent question: what's the most charming way you've ever been flirted with? And the least charming. Or the most and least charming ways you've ever flirted with someone else.

I know how this sounds, but I really am asking for a friend.

—if you know any good puns, share those, too.

That's all. Thank you.

Comments

[onlyhymns]

No, it's not... [sigh.] It's not like that.

[Another loaded silence as he collects himself.]

I... um. I told him a joke. The other day. And he said it was a good way to pick up women. [His blush almost audible.] ...I asked if he was serious, and then... this. [An audible eyeroll.]

I don't... nothing's going to make me charming. And it's fine. ...it's fine.

[ombranera]

...You told a joke?

[ Forget everything else- THIS takes precedence. ]

What joke did you tell?

[onlyhymns]

[This is unexpected. Cade hesitates again, for the usual agonizing duration.]

....um... so... I asked him if he remembered at the abbey, there was a girl named Torch.

[ombranera]

...A girl.

Named Torch.

[ Give him a moment, he's trying to wrap his mind around what the possible punchline might be. ]

Why is her name Torch?

[onlyhymns]

[If possible, his small smile is audible. Did he just pull one over on Zevran?]

Um, I don't know, but she was pretty bright.

[ombranera]

She was pretty br-

[ Give him a moment, puns in his second language take half a second despite all of his years knowing Alistair. WERE this Alistair, it'd earn a groan.

But this is Cade. Cade is telling a joke. A pun and he cracks into high, cackling laughter easily enough. ]

[onlyhymns]

[Cade doesn't respond verbally, but he is sitting by his sending crystal looking very, very pleased with himself.]

[ombranera]

I can now see why you got along in the abbey. Similar threads of humor.

[ Give him a moment to breathe before he continues. ]

Why did the chef have to stop cooking?

[onlyhymns]

Oh, no, I mean...

[He laughs weakly.]

I heard a worker say that in the courtyard the other day. It's.. it's not mine. [Having said that, his interest is piqued.]

...why?

[ombranera]

Then you may have this one and keep it.

[ A gift, so to speak. Encouraging this is- it's somethign that isn't the darkness, that isn't the memories or the terrible things that make him flinch. It's a life line.

A strange and silly one, but Zevran will not be the one to cut it. ]

Because he ran out of Thyme.

[onlyhymns]

[Oh no. Cade doesn't know anything about cooking. Or herbalism. These are things that, for the most part, servants take care of.
He's silent for several long moments.]

Is that... an ingredient?

[ombranera]

...It's an herb. That you use in soups-

Why shouldn't you hire a dwarven chef?

[onlyhymns]

[Seems reasonable. Cade makes note of it.]

Why?

[ombranera]

The steaks are too high.

[onlyhymns]

[This one, he gets. He doesn't laugh, per se, but a small 'hmm-hmm' follows as he acknowledges that it's humorous.]

I like that. [Dwarves are weird.]

[ombranera]

I thought you might. Alistair has many about dragons, if you ask. He likes to tell them to Lucci when he thinks I am not paying attention.