[Is Yngvi doing this on purpose or does he genuinely believe this. Val, please decide.]
What do you scholar? Turnips? Carrots? Fields are boring, those are for Fereldans unless they're crying because oh no, Darkspawn, let's go to Kirkwall and ruin it for the people living there.
[Make him a war correspondent, he'd be brilliant. Orlais would love him at least whenever it was time to cut to the weekly 'Fuckery in Ferelden' segment.]
Don't believe what some puffed-up merchant's guild type wrote, merchants love the smell of their own farts. [Merchants guild, you can't trust them unless you're blackmailing them.] And that was all some idiot doglord they should have hurled back into the sea along with most of them because they didn't bring anything with them, at least the Orlesians marry in and don't just clutter up the place, looking untidy. The Orlesians have terrible wine but they've got wine. The Qunari bit was fun for a while though. Livened up the place. Unless you took the scenic route home - ever had a picnic on the Wounded Coast with your much more interesting lady friend? Oh no you haven't.
Well it won't be Orlais because it's about to disappear entirely up its own arsehole trying to find a new arse to sit on the stupid holy throne no one cares about because that's a scam, and to sit on the other stupid throne no one cares about but at least the songs are shorter. Won't ever be zen-tress day-internets.
no subject
What do you scholar? Turnips? Carrots? Fields are boring, those are for Fereldans unless they're crying because oh no, Darkspawn, let's go to Kirkwall and ruin it for the people living there.
[Make him a war correspondent, he'd be brilliant. Orlais would love him at least whenever it was time to cut to the weekly 'Fuckery in Ferelden' segment.]
Don't believe what some puffed-up merchant's guild type wrote, merchants love the smell of their own farts. [Merchants guild, you can't trust them unless you're blackmailing them.] And that was all some idiot doglord they should have hurled back into the sea along with most of them because they didn't bring anything with them, at least the Orlesians marry in and don't just clutter up the place, looking untidy. The Orlesians have terrible wine but they've got wine. The Qunari bit was fun for a while though. Livened up the place. Unless you took the scenic route home - ever had a picnic on the Wounded Coast with your much more interesting lady friend? Oh no you haven't.
Well it won't be Orlais because it's about to disappear entirely up its own arsehole trying to find a new arse to sit on the stupid holy throne no one cares about because that's a scam, and to sit on the other stupid throne no one cares about but at least the songs are shorter. Won't ever be zen-tress day-internets.
[...Nailed it.]